{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Currently 8 months pregnant. Found out a few weeks ago about my husband’s gambling problem. He said he would get help but still hasn’t. Been feeling pretty emotional about being lied to for our entire short marriage. Got into a big fight today, he left and hasn’t come back and blocked my phone number. Not sure how to handle this and am very tired of being left in the dark again and just feeling alone this entire pregnancy.", "post_id": "6106376e7d3ed200243f5eec", "reply_count": 7, "vote_count": 3, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms" }

Currently 8 months pregnant. Found out a few weeks ago about my husband’s gambling problem. He said he would get help but still hasn’t. Been feeling pretty emotional about being lied to for our entire short marriage. Got into a big fight today, he left and hasn’t come back and blocked my phone number. Not sure how to handle this and am very tired of being left in the dark again and just feeling alone this entire pregnancy.

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Wow I’m so sorry 😞 I can’t believe he blocked your number, like how old is he?? That is very immature. I hate when everyone’s advice is to always leave their SO, but this would make me seriously question the relationship. I think you need to have a heart to heart with yourself as you know him best and think about the future here. My worry would be what else is he going to walk out on when you two get in fights? What about when the baby comes and you’re both even more tired and emotional due to the sleepless nights? Will you feel resentful? I’d ask myself all of these things, have a serious conversation with him and then really think about how you see this going in the future. Gambling is one thing, but to me what stands out in this post is him leaving his 8 month pregnant wife and blocking her number. Plus the lying. Again, so sorry you’re going through this.

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Thank you so much for the kind words of support. He left yesterday afternoon and is still gone. The fight was about gambling. Have no clue where he is or what he’s doing at this point. I also have bronchitis and feel like crap. Again thank you for your support, I definitely want to get a doula and extra support. I don’t know what it will be like post baby and I’ve thought about separating from him when I found out about the lying and gambling. I definitely need to reach out to family for help.

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My heart aches for you. I’m sure there’s a lot you’re going through but focus on you and baby for now. Do you have help lined up - family or close friends in the area who can help you when baby comes, doula, postpartum doula, night nanny? Your husband’s proved to be unreliable and stonewalling / shutting you out may be his coping mechanism. The first couple months with a new baby can try even the strongest of relationships. Don’t make any rash decisions now but take some time to reflect and determine what you want to do long term.

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Was the fight about his gambling problem? How long has he been gone? I don’t know why but men always just walk away when they get into tough situations instead of communicating and talking them through. The gambling, lying and walking away & blocking your number are not excusable behaviors, but I’m more concerned about what he will act when the baby gets here. I had a really rough 3rd trimester (which I toughed it through) and generally consider myself as a fighter/can handle hardship well, but oh my god it is SO SO hard with a newborn (my daughter is even on the easier spectrum and has no health issues). All the sleepless nights, breastfeeding struggles, postpartum hormonal changes can break about just anyone. What is he going to do then? Will he walk away again when you’re running on 2h of sleep for the second consecutive week and having to take care of your newborn all by yourself for days because he stormed out and blocked your number? My heart goes to you. I remember towards the end my pregnancy how exhausted and emotional I was and I can’t imagine what you’re going through. However things are going to get a lot tougher and he needs to be your partner and acts like one.

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I’m so sorry you are going through this OP. Addictions are really difficult for people, couples, and families to work through. You’ve got a few weeks before the baby comes. Consider how to protect yourself and family financially. Gambling addicts can blow through $$ really quickly. Speak to a financial advisor about this situation and figure out how to protect yourself. Lock your accounts/credit. Do not put his name in any more financial accounts (new ones) and remove his access to anything that is you alone are contributing to. If you can, take full control of the finances until he gets help and stops gambling. This is a lot to handle. Please reach out to your friends and/or family who will help and support you through this. Best of luck, OP.

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Reach out for help, mama. And hire whatever support you need. Gambling is an addiction and stopping/recovering from addiction is hard. Obviously your husband won’t have the physical downside of addiction (like withdrawls) but the mental aspect is going to be rough on him. I would assume he’s not going to be in the right mental space to be a huge help and support right now. he needs to get the help and support he needs to turn things around and so do you. If that means separating right now- okay. That’s what you do. It’s in baby’s best interest to have two healthy and happy parents. And dad storming out on mom and blocking her number isn’t happy or healthy. He needs to focus on getting his shit together and you need to focus on yourself and baby. You are tough and strong and you will make it through this!

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@OP, so sorry you’re going through this. Sending all the positive vibes. Please do whatever you can to take care of you and that precious baby, that’s what’s most important right now. Any updates?

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