{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "currently pregnant..My husband is telling me that he's not willing to change our future baby's diapers....is this reasonable to accept?", "post_id": "61e6156ec633ee002d408202", "reply_count": 30, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "6005b29d1d662a001cb17e2d", "bowl_name": "We're Pregnant!", "feed_type": "bowl" }

currently pregnant..My husband is telling me that he's not willing to change our future baby's diapers....is this reasonable to accept?

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No no no. If you’re breastfeeding, the best thing a supportive partner can do is help with burping and diaper changing after you feed. This is how you take turns napping or getting a minute to tend to your nipples and whatever else you need to do. Parenting is a partnership and it’s also an opportunity for him to bond with baby! Ew such an unacceptable red flag… I’m sorry you’re dealing with this OP. You’re already doing so much and the least he can do is support you emotionally and physically.

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Yes, exactly! Just giving an example of taking turns with responsibilities.

I've a very supportive family, my in laws help with everything. My husband however cannot change my baby's diaper. He has tried a couple of times but thrown up. So i am stuck in this situation. There are others around to do it though. I don't know what to do about my husband's situation

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Nope, you’re both parents so it’s not entirely on you to do it. It’s his child too. Better straighten that up before baby comes.

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HELL TO THE NO. This is a hard hard no. And absolutely insane. I don’t know a single dad who straight up refuses to do diapers.

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Lol I’m hoping he was kidding, otherwise 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

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That’s insane.

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Of course every relationship is different but I personally would not be ok with that. I’m 6 months pregnant and my husband and I agree that he will help as much as possible (diaper changes, soothing, bathing, etc). You are already shouldering the physical burden of growing and birthing the baby - I think it’s not unreasonable in the slightest to expect he help change the diapers of his baby.

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Thank you so much for all your responses. I also hope that he's joking or that this will change once we actually have the baby..🤔 nonetheless I will have a serious conversation with him about this 🙏🏻

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I’m 99% sure her husband either wasn’t serious or just hasn’t thought through it yet so I have hope. I’m mostly here to call you out on encouraging women to tolerate bullshit. It’s 2022. Men can create the peace.

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I mean, he’s out putting himself in harms way every single day. Can you imagine what it’s like to hunt for dinner, AND be hunted? Wolves and lions are no joke.

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I would honestly rather be a single parent with hired help than be married with an incompetent partner. I hope he's kidding!

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Why not? No, that’s not reasonable. Changing diapers is… one of the easiest parts of parenting.

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So you carry the baby, birth the baby, feed the baby, and now you’re solely the one responsible for diapers too? Hell no. Dude needs to get his ass in gear and carry his weight.

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Amen

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I would say, hold your horses. A lot changes between the day you get the news and the day you hold the baby. While if it still happens so, it should be unacceptable. But you thinking and worrying about it now will have a negative effect on the baby. Best wishes!

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Disagree they should have this conversation now about what it means to be an equal parent. Maybe he is joking or maybe he will change when the baby comes but either way it’s a good opportunity for practicing communication and expressing expectations.

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NOOOOOOOOOPE. Full stop. Zero excuses.

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This brings out a weird reaction from me... I would be so offended at his unwillingness to care for the baby that it would make me want to completely leave with the mindset of "if you don't care for the baby, you dont get the baby". Not necessarily the most rational reaction/realistic thing to do... but yeah 😬

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No! It's not acceptable. Baby isn't just your responsibility & I hope he's joking. You're gonna have a lot on your plate, you shouldn't have to be the only one doing things that your partner can easily help with. It would be a red flag for me, but I know a couple where husband thinks he can baby sit the their kid for a few hours and that's all he has ever done. But they have house help, nanny that do a lot of chores & stuff for the baby, so I guess the wife doesn't mind as she isnt doing much either. It's not our situation & we both had a conversation about shared responsibility towards everything.

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Absolutely not 🚩

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Parenting is a partnership. This is not cool I’m sorry you even have to have the conversation

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I had an emergency csection and couldn’t get out of bed for a bit. Nurses showed him how to change diapers, swaddle, etc. he had no choice! My husband didn’t mind but saying this because in the off chance you need one also, good luck to yourself husband cause it’s on him!

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