CW: suicidal, depression

It's so hard to get up and do a good job at work when I don't want to keep waking up at all. But then the days that I do a good job at work are the only thing I'm living for right now. I'm so lonely and I hate WFH, but I don't know if I could even physically make it at an in-person job if the depression fatigue never stops

I graduated 6 months ago and I don't know how adults do this their whole lives. Whatever your secrets are please share. Therapy hasn't fixed

likeuplifting
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The secret to happiness is being able to decide to do things. Shift your frame of life. Start saying “I will…” more than “I have to…”. Take the reigns. Make a decision. Is your job there to give you value, income, both? Start to identify the elements of the world around you and only then will you understand that you are a central player in your own happiness and validation. I wish you the best. You will be ok.

Edit. I graduated from college not too long before you. Our age group is all kind of lost because we’re struggling to find meaning. You’ll find meaning through the actions you do each day, just make sure you are choosing what they are more than someone else.

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Love the idea of replacing I have to with I will. Very subtle but powerful

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If you ever want to talk to someone you can DM me. I’ve gone through similar periods and could be an ear to you.

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Second with C1 with changing it to “I get to”. “I get to make dinner tonight” Will help recognize your blessings.

Also want to add that timeframe out of college was the worst of my life, and I would fantasize jumping in front of the metro daily. I think it’s a major change from always having goals in life or the next step to progression, and now there is none. You made it. So what next? I learned to focus that energy into hobbies and skills. “Oh I’ve never tried golfing before, I want to try it and get good at it” and then proceed to the next thing. Think of your weeks as “what should I do this week?” and fill it with things you enjoy. I’ve learned they all fly by, so it’s best to make it to the end of one and feel like you accomplished something.

Also, would highly recommend therapy. I think the worst thing that will happen with therapy is you get to learn more about yourself and how you think at a core level. I had a self destructing thought spiral my whole life. Essentially something bad would happen which would be why this other bad thing happened which is why life is sucks which is why it is a pointless torture which is why I dont want to be here. Recognizing that, I usually can spot it the second the first negative thought happens, and I think “Oh, that was an invasive thought and not helpful” and keep moving. Would highly recommend therapy to see if you have any negative thought patterns

Wish you well.

likehelpful

I used Washington Nutrition and Counsel. The first therapist I got was amazing. I’m a SWE and think logically and she would basically guide me to an area I was having a double standard or false assumption and make me realize it. The other was decent. She was more, read this passage and how it relates to you. I’m a math guy not a reading guy.

Wish you the best.

helpful

Therapy is a very relational model and if you’re with the wrong therapist for you, you won’t make progress.

I have depression and anxiety that isn’t constant, but rears up from time to time. Years ago, I took myself out of a deep depression through yoga, journaling, exercise (SoulCycle), connecting to my spirituality through reiki and meditation.

A few months ago, it reared up again. It’s like my brain forgot the map back to wellness and so I went back on medication. Things aren’t perfect, but it was worth it to not be lying on the floor crying in despair into my carpet. I’m sure the carpet thanks me, too…

I share all this to say you aren’t alone - people feel theses things every day and you’d never guess.

Tactically, though…exercise and diet play a role. I saw a new doctor recently and I have a ton of vitamin deficiency that was contributing to my fatigue (not necessarily the depression). Gratitude practices can help, too. Learn about your nervous system because that knowledge can help arm you with insight into what’s happening for you at a physical level.

If you want an ear, my DMs are open :)

likeupliftingsmart

Don’t be hard on yourself and try to enjoy the journey — even shit days are part of it — trying to make work “fun” is very important for longevity. Talking to a therapist is also very important to keep things balanced.

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Your first line is scary. Work on yourself stat!

1) Change therapists and consider medicine.
2) Reach out to old friends. Plan meet-ups.
3) Get friends and family involved. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.
4) Go for walks outside.
5) Go into the office.
6) Go to the gym.
7) Start tracking outside time. Increase by 4-6.
8) Find both an inside and outside hobby.
9) Consider a change of career: Consultantancy isn’t worth your mental health.

Good luck OP. Sending positive vibes.

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Are you in a place to be able to get professional help? Finding a fitting therapist can be challenging but really good long term.

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What got me out of depression was learning and practicing to want things. Great desire, struggle, failure, then progress in the form of small successes that build upon each other. It helps me to feel like I’m on a path and it’s taking me somewhere I very badly want to be

likeuplifting

God be with you Op. life is more than just work, there’s so much more meaning. I find that doing things to help people (service) gives me much more meaning. It’s what we are called to do. This life isn’t about work work work. It’s about finding the kingdom within you, and sharing it with others. That’s true joy. Perhaps try walking into a local church.

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I’m right there with you. When I first graduated I wondered the same “how do people get up every day, go to work, just to do it all over again the next day”. I was truly puzzled and struggled for a long time. Just know that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And that this too shall pass. Hang in there. You’ll get through this. Give time, time.

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Lifting weights, getting outdoors, and smoking weed have helped me

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Hi friend, thank you for sharing and I am so sorry you feel this way.
YOU MATTER as long as you have breathe in your lungs, I promise you that the world is 1billion times better with you in it. I’ve had my dark days as well but I held on to Jesus and He literally changed my life. Please try and talk to someone, I’m all ears and would be glad to have a chat with you. This time of the year could also get lonely and with the dark nights I know how that can feel. Excercising and looking for one way to serve someone else daily also helped to take the focus of myself and give some purpose🤎

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Have you had a chance to have a break? A few weeks off to explore the world?

I was you at the beginning of the year. Two things I heard changed my life:

1) You probably don’t want to end your life, just the life you’re living now.

2) Do it sad. Who said you need to be “in the mood”, just do it sad.

I quit my last job, travelled and then somehow got into my dream company. It didn’t fix everything, sometimes I still feel down - but then I remember point 2.

I’ve had similar struggles my friend…I haven’t been out of school that long either. What keeps me going is eating properly, going to the gym, setting up time to meet with friends, and going to church. That’s just me what seems to work for me. DM me if you ever need to talk with someone.

Have you tried any meds? If so you may be able to get TMS for treatment resistant depression. Just started it, hoping to lift the fatigue as well. DM if you have questions, you are not alone.

Did this work for you C3?

A good therapist can change your life, else try understanding your self better- go through a journey of self discovery with the Enneagram.. it helped me in my difficult times.. I have learnt to accept the good and bad in me over many many years

Please take care of yourself!

I would recommend to pick up some hobbies and start exercising.

For hobbies: pick up team sports or hobbies, find like minded people to enjoy life with

For exercising: it helps release stress and feel good about yourself. Could get a trainer first and/or find practice partner to motivate you

Good luck OP!

I would imagine if you are writing on Fishbowl, you are likely downplaying how depressed you are. If you have not done so already, be evaluated for health issues, first and evaluated to determine if a antidepressant may be right for you.

Medication for depression has saved untold lives and enhanced QOL. Don’t suffer and make use of all the tools available to you: medication, exercise, time off, new therapist, etc.

If you need help, you can DM me.

Call a suicide hotline. Please don’t make a decision you can’t reverse. I promise you that there is a lot of life worth living out there. Please call. Please.

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