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Subject Expert
The dads I work with took all the leave available! Take it all. Congrats, btw.
Mentor
Take all 9 weeks. The women at your firm will thank you.
A10, it’s dumb woke speak. I’d be insanely embarrassed.
If you don’t take it all, it defeats the purpose (career negatives) of giving non-birthing people the same leave that birthing people would get (jk I didn’t bang my head right then) — men; women.
your app must have a filter that prevents you from seeing all the wahbortion posts 😂
Take all of it. You’re entitled to it. It’s there for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of your family. The firm offers it to you as a benefit to make you want to stay long term, just like any other benefit.
The fact that you’re questioning whether you should take it is all the more reason to take it. Help normalize taking it and not putting it only on those physically giving birth to pause their careers for a parental leave.
You will never have the opportunity to spend that time with your newborn and wife again. I was at a small firm when we had our first kid, and the firm didn't have coverage for me to take leave. Those several weeks are one of the biggest regrets of my life (not being able to focus completely on my new child and wife). Work is always there, definitely take as much as possible. I can't stress that enough.
Please take all of it. It will be good for you, your family, and all current and future parents.
12 weeks (12 available), and my team legitimately left me alone the entire time. For me, spending those 12 weeks at home helping my wife recover and welcoming the new one home was absolutely necessary and worth it. Babies are hard, and your partner at home will need you more than your partner at the firm. Do what works best for you all, but I’ve always been in the “take every single day offered” camp. It’s good for families, good for firms (no sleep deprived zombie associates trying to handle complicated matters), and evens the playing field between male and female attorneys.
I am a woman and having my first child in a month.
Take all the leave offered.
Men / nonbirthing parents (yes, women can be nonbirthing parents too, esp if they adopt, use a gestational carrier, or are married to or coparenting with another woman who carries the child) taking full leave is necessary to level the playing field and dispel the asinine assumption that women who birth children are not as committed to their careers as anyone else.
This is the best reason to take all the leave offered.
I didn’t fully appreciate this before I was in this position, but male / non-birthing attorneys who take LESS than the full amount to get ahead in their careers or just to be perceived in a certain way is an exercise of privilege.
I took all that was available and don’t regret it a bit.
Subject Expert
I ended up taking it all (12 weeks) though i was WAY ahead on hours which i felt helped. Advice on here tends to be very "take it all and you're a bad parent / spouse if you dont" so i dont super trust it... but asked around a ton at my firm and general consensus was taking it all would be fine. 9 weeks also isnt like a TON so your all isnt that high. That said id ask around at your firm a bit for a more culturally specific picture.
Advice here matched advice at your firm but somehow it is still bad advice? The fact that people in FB feel more willingly to push the idea that men in particular, but everyone really, should take their full leave so as to not disadvantage their coworkers that require the full leave mostly for physical/health reasons AND so we can all be more present and involved partners/parents is just a matter of anonymity. If this forum weren’t anonymous people would not speak their mind as openly, it doesn’t mean it is bad advice. I agree with A1 that you should ask specifically at your firm how hours count/bonus is calculated/etc. so you can make an informed decision but in BL I would not shy away from taking a full leave unless it will put you in a bad situation financially.
Mentor
Your hours will be pro-rated. Take the leave!
Subject Expert
My firm offers 12 weeks, 10 paid, 2 unpaid. I'm taking 7-8 upfront and sneaking in a nice 1 week anniversary vacation later in the year.
take it all. I took 12 out 18 and regretted it even as a non-primary caregiver.