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Chief
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Anyone tried Dunstan baby language?
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How does this have fifty likes? It’s not dear men. This is a wake up call for you to be an adult, communicate your needs clearly, and stick to them.
I have pregnant colleagues, colleagues with learning disorders, colleagues with medical challenges- you name it. Most of it you can’t even tell from outward appearance. It’s not my job to guess what your needs are, it’s your job to communicate- then my job to help plan and run the project so everyone’s needs are met.
Chief
It's 'Dear Men' because of the three guys on my team that are the cause of this post. They know I'm pregnant. They have children, so they know what horror their wives have been through (we've chatted about it, so I know they know).
This post is to bring awareness to some of the challenges in working through pregnancy that women face. Just wishing us congrats isn't enough. Take a moment to be more mindful.
Rising Star
What next- set up a union so you can get off at 5? Prohibit work that might require more than 40 hours a week?
This is a consulting bowl- we are in the business of client service, and as such meetings (esp) internal get scheduled whenever you can find time. My clients dictate when they need meetings because they pay the bills.
Can we be considerate where possible- off course but just ask your team, half of them have probably been in 3 hours of back to backs and want to pee as well.
This is a bad take. Like don’t make it sound like this is some life-saving industry. I don’t care who’s paying me, accommodations can be made. Especially when someone is PREGNANT good god
Chief
*Please don't schedule hour long meetings ever
- a not pregnant female
Don’t even schedule meetings honestly.
I honestly don’t want to be treated differently because I’m pregnant. In fact, it’s up to me to communicate my needs or get up to pee when I need to (like I did before covid during in person meetings). The last thing I want is for men (or women, or anyone) to try to determine what I need and make choices that impact me because they think they know. It’s on my to manage that.
Completely agree with with ZS Associaties says. I can completely understand being frustrated that a meeting went over and no was checked in to see if people were good to stay on but you need to manage and protect your own calendar when it comes to your lunchtime.
Chief
Honestly. No one should book meetings at lunch and then drag them on endlessly.
Being pregnant AF doesn't help.
Either don't book it at lunch, or if you must - then either end early or at worst on time.
Solution: DECLINE IT. TAKE CONTROL.
Block your calendar off at lunch if it’s an issue or plan around it. I know a lot of people who do that (men and women)
If calendars are visible I’d call it “Lunch: Eating for two”
I can agree with meetings running over BUT the lunch part is kind of insane. I eat around 2-3 pm everyday and I wouldn’t expect people to know that.
Pro
Protecting your lunch is somewhat your own responsibility. Turn down the meetings or block time to have dinner.
Both sets of people could afford to be thoughtful here.
- Please don't schedule meetings unless necessary exception
- Do not schedule them before 10 or after 4 unless necessary exception
- Do not run over without asking if people can and will stay on
- Lunch is whenever people want
This is one for the SOP’s
Chief
Honestly, they probably don’t even realize it. Just tell them - and they’ll be fine with it.
If you told this to them directly rather than posting on here I’m more than willing to bet they would accommodate
Chief
If it was a regular thing, I would. It's occasionally or one off. Just starving and venting today.
Is it just men who do this?
This SSA1. It’s stereotyping an entire group of people and if it said “women” instead of men we would be having a different convo.
Chief
How in the world is this a “Dear Men” thing.
Chief
Already answered above.
Omg and please don’t comment on how much we eat when I have no choice but to eat on zoom calls 😭🤰🏻
Silence ... awkward stare ... “well I am pregnant as you know”
Rising Star
Why are people not protecting their own calendars? Block the lunch. Block the morning if you’re dropping kids to school. Block the afternoon if you’re going for a run. Your work, your time.
Rising Star
Well, I don’t disagree with any of that. KPMG is a terrible place to work - I was a consultant there for a year before I bounced. Ability to push back and create boundaries comes with age and maturity. If you don’t feel like you’re there right now then you will get there one day. But get the heck out of that place first!
Reasonable request OP
Rising Star
OP - does everyone you meet with know you’re pregnant? Many women don’t advertise that for various reasons.
As for breaks, it’s common courtesy to have a “bio break” for meetings over an hour. Sometimes one of the participants has to remind the host. “Hey, we’ve been going for an hour, how about a 10 min bio break?”
Unless there’s a time zone issue I always try not to schedule lunch meetings. I feel like it’s a respect thing.
Chief
Ya, agree. Time zones can be hard to navigate. This was all folks on the same time zone. Hence my lack of sympathy.
If it’s a big group that needs to be there for a working group, sometimes it needs to be an hour a be booked during lunch. I’d rather have a lunch meeting than a 730 am or 630 pm.
Plan ahead of you know it’s during lunch. It’s not hard to grab a snack or prep a meal. I’m lucky if I get one day a week that has 30 minutes not in meetings during lunch.
Signed- very heavily pregnant peer
I’m not pregnant, skinny as hell, and when my stomach starts growling, wrap up the meeting. Addressed to any man or woman.
Y’all really can’t take a joke
How was this a joke