{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Desi fam anyone with aged parent (singular) in India (Mother or Father) how do you deal with it ? Are retirement homes still taboo?", "post_id": "5ad1883371f52d00180a1bb8", "reply_count": 14, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "58f8108c753e990016608a0b", "bowl_name": "Desi Consultants" }

Desi fam anyone with aged parent (singular) in India (Mother or Father) how do you deal with it ? Are retirement homes still taboo?

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Desi parents are not sent to retirement homes. You buy a big enough house and have them live with you

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Not true OP.. my dad is in a retirement community and he is loving it there.. it’s not as stereotypical as shown in movies.. at least in cities they make it a point to make them thriving communities with culture, bonding and exercise. My dad has a great circle of friends plays games everyday, organizes cultural events and festivals, they share their lives together and since they are all the same age group understand that journey best. And doctors always on call, along with a house maid. It’s not a taboo. It’s a choice and you need to have a discussion with your parents about it. If they would rather stay in India retirement communities are very safe and a very good option. It would be perfect to have them stay with you but that’s not always possible

likeuplifting

Sc1 I can’t believe these retirement homes won’t mistreat our parents in India. Sab mc hain. Won’t trust them.

likehelpfulfunny

OP retirement home is shame! Don’t consider that. There’s a difference between home and house!!

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About 35k/month includes maid+ furnished flat and access to amenities. His breakfast, lunch and dinner is included

likeuplifting

Can I ask which city SC1?

Don’t do it

Blore called serene Urbana.. been really good so far no issues with management or abuse. It’s more like ur own home with neighbors who are ur age and a hospital in the same block

What’s the cost of living there?

SC1 can you send me a burner email. Would like to get in touch.

Wow ! I am sure your parents sacrificed so my Vh to send you here... the least you can do is have th Stay with you .....

Way to judge dude ... not everyone’s circumstances might allow that. In any case it is better to understand options.

OP Mail me at burneremail1@maildrop.cc and we can connect further

Wow BCG1 walk a few steps in someone’s shoes before making a harsh judgement. So many reasons why parents cannot stay with their kids. 1. Children are on visa so parents can only stay with them for max 180 days and then go out of country and come back. At their age this can be tiring. A visit is great but for long term stays children on visa do not have a viable way to get their parents to stay with them - applies to US desis on visas 2. Parents love India and do not want to leave their home town. A visit is ok but they cannot contemplate shifting to a foreign country. Which is fair given that asking them to adjust to a new country at their age is selfish. You might ask oh then why don’t the children move back to India and there could be so many reasons for not doing that. 3. Have you thought that perhaps the children and parents need their own space? Visiting often is great but you lead different lives now and staying separate is healthy for you. Asian parents always think of their children as kids and no matter what the children are or their age parents feel like they need to tell them what to do which can be stifling. 5. Something unique to OPs situation. All in all every situation is unique, so long as the child is looking out for their parents in any way they can they are being good kids.

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