{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Despite being fully vaxxed and not immunocompromised, my spouse is terrified and paralyzed by COVID. She won’t leave the house and we regularly fight about her March 2020 style lockdowns on our family (bleaching mail and groceries etc). I’m concerned because she’s been getting dark hints from work that it’s going to affect her career (she works in sales). Her take is “If they fire me because I won’t see customers, my safety is more important.” Really at my wits end and don’t know what to do.", "post_id": "6282456b03404100301808a7", "reply_count": 121, "vote_count": 16, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
null

Despite being fully vaxxed and not immunocompromised, my spouse is terrified and paralyzed by COVID. She won’t leave the house and we regularly fight about her March 2020 style lockdowns on our family (bleaching mail and groceries etc). I’m concerned because she’s been getting dark hints from work that it’s going to affect her career (she works in sales). Her take is “If they fire me because I won’t see customers, my safety is more important.” Really at my wits end and don’t know what to do.

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I felt really uncomfortable resuming activities but try to leave my rational brain in charge. We were very careful - kept our first grader remote for a full year by choice; paid our nanny for a year to stay home because her husbands job made her exposed; didn’t get any takeout even until vaccinated. But risk of worst outcomes for vaccinated healthy people is just not that high, and it’s not going to get any better. It’s an addition to the baseline risk of everyday life that we have accept now.

Oddly my hangups have evolved to be less COVID specific and more just going back out into the world. I hate going most places, worry about getting hit by cars most of the time. It’s not normal. The pandemic was a mindf*ck for many.

I agree your wife needs treatment. Barring that, maybe some more exposure to other people. Stewing in your own juices for two years can also result in weird outcomes.

OP, you go to counseling first you need it before your wife. many cases you can’t force or if she is really out of the loop push her into going for counseling. Instead my suggestion would be that you go to counseling and let them know what is going on and they will give you some tools and means to help your wife and eventually within time hopefully your wife will want to join you in counseling. Many people jump into pushing their partner into counseling but this needs to be done on their own … counseling never works if they are not ready to be counseled…


Btw my wife is a physician and she is cautious but this sounds like there is another underlying issue here. For example my wife and I will travel but we still are fully masked fully vaccinated. At some point you have to live your life this is unfortunate. It’s gonna take a lot of time for people to understand how to navigate a post pandemic world all I can say is that it most likely will take a lot of counseling for both yourself and your wife. Wish you the best.

likefunny

The underlying issue is she's lost her f*cking mind, respectfully.

likefunnyupliftinghelpful
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Counseling

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This. A close relative has OCD and experiences similar tendencies. It makes her safe to embrace a routine even if it makes no sense. Please help your SO find a caring therapist who she feels safe with but can help her.

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Your wife is being ridiculous. Tell her to grow up and get over it. Covid is so 2019 💁‍♀️

likefunny

^this is exactly what I meant, albeit much more eloquent 😂

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Surprised more people have not mentioned turning off the damn liberal mainstream media! CNN, MSNBC, etc. push fear mongering propaganda all day long to keep people like your wife content to do whatever they say. It’s a control tactic.

likesmart

News channels show advertorial content designed to get you to buy their sponsors product. In the case of liberal news, the product is the vaccine and other drugs. For Fox, it is guns.
None of it is pure news, it is propaganda.

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I think this is a true phobia and needs medical/professional help. It’s irrational. I wish you so much luck and feel your pain

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Sounds like it may be a manefestation of an anxiety disorder or potentially an OCD type of issue. I’d bridge the topic of her seeing a therapist and working through it, could be as easy as talking through her issues with a professional, or may need medication to balance.

My wife and I are very conscious of what we do in the COVID world as we have 2 children under 2 and want to avoid them getting sick, but we still are able to live a mostly normal life. it sounds like your wife is taking things to an extreme

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I have been in a similar situation with my spouse defriending anyone who had a different point of view on this to her.

She also became a hermit and not wanting to go out or meet people.

She went to counseling and was diagnosed with PTSD. A combination of living near the field hospital in Manhattan when the pandemic began and the sirens followed by too much news and basically being scared to death.

It takes time we are through it, sirens can still be a trigger but seek help.

likehelpful

I'm really sorry to hear that, another thing that people don't take into consideration. Are social media news bubbles, I guarantee you that your wife is still getting bombarded with news and articles that reinforce her fears and beliefs. I believe that we are still fighting through this pandemic. But we are at a point where given enough precautions and immunizations. We can start trying to get back into a resemblance of the old "normal". This virus will be here for years to come, but we now have vaccines, hospitalizations are down, and newer variants appear to be less severe. Which is the ultimate goal, for the virus to mutate in a way that allows it to survive the longest, it needs to not kill its host. So hopefully, this becomes just another seasonal flu in a few years down the road.

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What’s wrong with people these days even with the educated one’s. The dude is seeking our opinion and advise, what does this have to do with being a conservative and liberal folks… geez.

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Take her on vacation to MAGA country for some shock therapy. When she sees how free, alive and mentally healthy everyone is - she will embrace leaving Covid behind.

likefunnysmart

Get her some meth while you’re in MAGA country

likefunny

She needs to see a counselor to address any “anxiety”, “paranoia” or “phobia” all of which are curable, if treated in a timely manner.

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You have to support your SO. If she is not comfortable, you shouldn't force her. She's obviously very anxious about it. Her non-caring attitude about being let go may mean she wants to step away from workforce for a bit and she's hoping to get your support to do so.

likefunny

I feel bad for you as My wife was like too sometime back got better. Be gentle and support as much as you can. But she needs therapy and you cannot solve this for her.

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My partner had this, not quite as bad but close. I found it helpful to set milestones of “when will it be ok?” for certain things. We will be masked in crowded winter flights for the rest of our lives, why put up with all the flus and colds if you can avoid them. But eating in an outdoor restaurant was ok as soon as temperatures got above 10 degrees. Key work meetings in well ventilated space became ok as infection rates dropped. We got the 4th jab. And so always setting achievable milestones has got us to 90% normal now. Much more effective than all this polarised bs. Maybe therapy is needed but you want a pragmatic fix.

likehelpful

Thanks. Should add it was 10 degrees celsius and the restaurants here have outdoor heaters.

Damn man I’ve been going to the gym without a mask since May 2020

Maybe show her the data?

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Data supports the decision

Sounds like social anxiety disorder more than a fear of covid

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Exactly my thought.

likefunny

Oh she cray cray

likefunny

First, my sympathies. COVID-19, like many recent politicized issues, has exposed fissures in families in such a raw fashion.

My spouse and I are (and have been) on different ends of the spectrum when it comes to our attitude towards the pandemic, though we have converged more post-vaccine and are not in much disagreement now.

Who are your wife’s influencers? Family? Friends? A religious figure? Seeking external support vs. trying to just use your own persuasive powers can help. At this point, she may have you pigeonholed as not being on her side. My spouse eased up as our friends resumed more normal activities without demonstrable impact. For 8-9 months now, I have been back to being in-person at work at pre-COVID levels. At this point even our more cautious friends and I have now gotten mild COVID and recovered, while my spouse has remained infection free.

I see lots of pushes for therapy. Maybe that will help but at least in our case, external influences helped way more.

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Counseling, the last two years has broken many peoples risk meter. She isn’t alone but this is one of those things she needs to talk through with not you but have your support.

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Disordered thinking needs counseling and potentially medication. I feel for you because my dad went through something similar with Y2K. I was very young at that time but remember thinking something was not right with my parents.

Would she be open to family therapy ?

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In addition to the other good advice about getting therapy, I would put a news ban in the house. Media keeps peddling fear like it’s the end of the world and if you listen to that it’s bound to breed fear.

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LISTEN as someone who had COVID before COVID was identified in the US it is not an easy transition.

I thought I was on my deathbed, I couldn’t eat, sleep, or walk. It is paralyzing and terrifying at the same time. My husband also tells me to get out more but the reality is I don’t want to! It’s okay, we want to understand and support us through this difficult journey!

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C2 I’m sympathetic and glad you recovered. You had COVID when it was dangerous and life-threatening to many in the population mainstream. I can appreciate having PTSD from that period. The reality is that current COVID strains are relatively benign in impact, except if you’re severely immuno-compromised. So advancing with the data would suggest a revisit in stances grounded in early 2020, as hard as that might be. Anyone still fighting demons from April 2020 must be empathized with, but still consider therapy.

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likesmartfunny

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YOE - 1.6
CCTC - 12.5
Tech - .NET

Please suggest some companies that offer more than 20Lpa.

I have already known some companies, looking for more to increase my chances.

Thank you

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Hi Guys,
I got an offer from EY India and Capgemini
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EY - 18LPA fixed
Capgemini - 20LPA Fixed

EY Capgemini

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