Did you grow up at, or below the poverty line (in the US)? I have this feeling that the (white) people I work with have generational safety nets that make life such a breeze. Honestly I'm jealous 😕

likefunnysmart
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White male- will say I did live in a good school district in sub-burbs, however lived in single parent house and mother worked 3 jobs and grew up in a 1 bedroom basement apartment then upgraded to an makeshift attic apartment above a sign shop and truck yard. Used to spend my Saturdays carrying my laundry into town to the laundromat, until I saved up for a POS car at 16 so I could then drive myself there. Started working at 13. Helped pay the rent, had power shut off several times. Was working 3 jobs by 18, worked a second job through my first 2 years in advertising into my mid 20s. There is no safety net for me, there never was. I will agree, a lot of my other fellow white colleagues had it easier. I also know plenty of non-white colleagues that did also. I will not begin to assume I can relate to someone else’s experience that I am sure had it harder than me. Also, I can’t speak for someone’s experience of different color for challenges that I can’t relate to growing up. In fact I felt pretty lucky when I hear other people’s stories and never self-pitied. However It wasn’t an easy childhood, so I may have a taste of struggle.

I do look clean cut now, since it’s part of my job to not look like garbage when I talk to clients- and I’m sure when you look at me you think I had the beaver cleaver white bread America upbringing. Just better to talk to people than to assume anything, might be more relatable than you think. Also, there is plenty of F’d up things going on at the other end of the spectrum. Just not financially related.

likeuplifting

Just wanted to give an example here of “generational safety net” for further discussion and context. A white grandfather gets a job at a plant in the 50s, then a promotion a few years later that maybe a person of color wouldn’t have even been considered for. Because it’s an okay job, his marriage is more likely to stay together and they’re able to put some money away for their kids future, maybe a technical school or professional training. Because of that education, the kid(s) land a job that makes more than their parents did at their age, and are able to give THEIR kids more resources growing up, which helps them focus on their studies, get better grades and maybe earn placement at a great 4-year college that they pay for with loans and a little help from their parents. Because they don’t have to face a racial interview bias, they’re able to get a job faster out of college and they don’t end up with as much debt as someone coming from a different background (assuming they attain the same goals). Less debt sets them up to be able to take more risks, which can open doors and pay off in all kinds of opportunities. So obviously this example trajectory isn’t all a “given” and the kid has had to still work very hard to get those placements, and by no means takes out of the equation other family BS, emotional hardship or unexpected life events, but someone who’s grandparents and parents (and themselves) have had to deal with systematic discrimination over decades are going to have to work a lot harder for the same safety net, with a lot more cultural minefields and familial stress (often tied to money) to overcome.

They X factor is that the millennial generation is the first generation in a long time where that “safety net” hasn’t paid off they way it did in the past. So success is much less of a guarantee these days, even with the historical leg-up.

likesmarthelpfuluplifting
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There’s probably a Facebook group for your post that’ll confirm the sweeping assumption you’ve made

likefunnysmart

You guys seem cool

likefunny

White - sometimes right at, sometimes right below. My parents worked hard to shield us from knowing their struggles growing up. I thought everyone bought their clothes at Goodwill or eating white rice with canned hormel chili twice a week was a food trend sweeping the country. It’s because it fed a family of four for under $2. I was the first person in my family to go to college and I did it on a military scholarship to pay for a full ride. I don’t regret my humble roots and I certainly do not forget.

likeuplifting

POC here. I have no idea what the poverty line is, but I often knew I was poor when I looked around at others. I lived in public housing and my family couldn’t afford to pay for college so I took out student loans. I often feel like the mass of white people in this industry came from privileged backgrounds, but it does not bother me. I’m not jealous of where they came from. I’m envious that having white skin makes it easier to get ahead. I have to work harder to prove my worth and play their game littered with rules that I never learned growing up. I despise being a token minority and having the responsibility to bare representation of all minorities for my office. I struggle endlessly to be myself, while trying to blend in. There’s a safety net in sameness.

likeupliftinghelpful

Since SS2 is me from another dimension... I came here to say the same thing. I can’t imagine what it must be like to constantly feel like you’re on display as a trophy and never able to relax and be yourself. Thanks for reminding me of the safety and privilege I take for granted. And thank you for your bravery.

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I’m white, was on free and reduced lunch as a kid. I think it’s important to remember that while the white poverty rate is lower than other racial groups, the sheer numbers are higher because of population size. Double the amount of white people are in poverty. That doesn’t mean whites are worse off, it just means that you’re probably going to run into some white people who grew up poor, and shouldn’t assume every white person around you came from a wealthy background.

I get that poverty is not a sheer money thing, I had a grandma as a safety net, so when we ended up homeless or my dad was arrested for domestic violence we went there. Is that a privilege? Sure, but I wouldn’t call it a breeze.

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That makes sense. I didn’t mean to accuse you of that. I think you wishing for a comfortable life is a totally normal response.

I just think it’s easy for jealousy lead to resentment. Something I’m weary of in myself. Overall I think that’s why people warn against it.

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I wasn’t at the poverty line, but definitely didn’t have a lot of money growing up. My parents are immigrants and neither went to college. People at work often assume everyone has their same background. I used to get uncomfortable when they’d ask oh, “so what do your parents do?” Or if I studied abroad, went to camp, did all these expensive things I could never afford.

Now I might flinch for a split second, but I own it. I’m proud of the fact I’ve made it to where I am without that generational net as you call it. Granted I recognize that having two working parents in my household was a privilege in itself.

Anyhow, my point is that yes it’s frustrating that people don’t see how lucky they are, but hopefully you’ll recognize how that makes your own success that much sweeter.

likeuplifting

Yes, this!! I'm working on owning it, too.

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Black female - Below the poverty line. I added race to contextualize my response. I think this is a great question and I totally get what you’re saying. However, I can see the hate train coming in 5,4,3,2...

I know this will go south very quickly, just a heads up!

likesmart

Yep, first comment shows that you're right. Hopefully it won't go any further south.

likefunny

White - family of 5 in a two-bedroom trailer with one working and loving parent and one abusive, drug-addicted asshole. Didn’t really know we was poor till I left my small town.

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Senior strategist thank you 🙏🏼 Im not perfect by any means. I think most of us are good people. Or at least well intentioned.

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I guess I’m going to be the exception (or one of the few) on this thread. White, grew up above the poverty line, very middle class, suburbia, Midwest. Parents born during the depression, so they learned financial prudence which they passed onto me (they inherited nothing from their parents). Dad was an electrical engineer and mom was a nurse. Me and one sibling. Small house, 3 tiny bedrooms but I had my own, one bathroom, always two cars (and always simple/used). Usually one vacation (no more) a year which involved driving somewhere (across state lines) to other family or a simple beach vacation or an amusement park. Never on a plane. Went to public school. We never got anything that wasn’t on sale. I did wear hand me downs. Never wanted for anything (material that is, or food, shelter, etc). Dad died 20+ years ago and we were shocked at how much money he had saved away. House already paid off. Mom died 9+ years ago so me/sibling inherited what they had saved (well into the 6 figures) and the house (worth less than 100k). All was split 50/50 in the will. Sold the house. Majority of what I inherited is invested and will remain so for retirement or an emergency. Do I realize how lucky I am to have a financial safety net? Absofuckinlutely! Would I rather not have it and have my parents around instead? Yes (realizing all too well that parents won’t be around forever, so this isn’t self-pity...). Would I also rather have ANY family in my life instead? (Estranged from my horrible sister, uncle is a pervert, I could go on...). Yes, again. I have a financial safety net, but lack any family safety net if that makes sense. I am still extremely fortunate and know that having that inheritance makes me very lucky. I can’t begin to imagine the hardships that people endure growing up below the poverty line. Or, what unfair and cruel hardships that POC have to deal with everyday.

likehelpful

Advertising attracts trust fund babies like no other industries.

likefunny

On the contrary, I think my background is largely to thank for my subsequent success, such as it is.

Knowing how to speak to people from all strata of society is a truly indispensable - and rare - ability, especially in an industry that lives or dies based on effectively conveying messages to great swathes of people.

Below. I’m also among the few native New Yorkers in my place. Not sure how much any of that matters when it comes to the work, but I understand the convo you’re hoping to have.

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I suspect no one at my agency would ever guess this, and in fact I’ve had colleagues try to bond with me over wealthy childhood memories of camps and ponies and vacations, but I had none of that and no “generational safety net.” I did not grow up at poverty level, rather with a tenuous hold on lower middle class: but no extra cash, lots of unemployment and a family dynamic where any extra resources went elsewhere. The President of my agency once asked me what my father did for a living and was visibly confused by my blue collar answer. I guess he thought he was the only one with a rags to riches story. 🤷🏻‍♂️
My point is that you never know who grew up how by looking at them or working with them.

likeuplifting

I would love to see intern programs aimed at kids from low income households

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Agree totally. It’s not just the intern pay, it’s the ability to go where the internships are. I couldn’t afford an internship because I couldn’t afford the plane tickets and the housing needed to have an internship. It would be great to have a scholarship fund or similar for students who have talent and potential but not the financial backing.

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I didn’t grow up at poverty level but I did live below it for a number of years while in advertising. First gig was in NYC making 35k. I was married with three young kids.

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And i dont worry about what others have. I worry about building my sitch

Grew up very poor, no inheritance coming my way. But if I start to feel jealous I remind myself that a lot of the rich kids with trusts I know are fucked up and miserable. Life is not 'a breeze' for anyone.

likehelpful

Having gone to a college replete with old money, I can echo this sentiment. Many of them learn the wrong things to chase and wind up miserable. Growing up with little helps you appreciate what you have, to see the important intangibles all around you, and instills a generosity that never leaves you.

There are people of every color who have safety nets. And even more that had none. Like me, white person who’s family lived okay, but in the very bottom of middle class in a city that was plummeting in the 60’s and 70’s. Okay house, but we all shared rooms. Nothing was new. I remember one Christmas where all our gifts were second hand. But I was happy. How my parents got by I have no idea

Thanks to my parents encouraging me and decades of stupidly hard work, my kids are growing up in a world I never knew growing up. Nice town, nice house, college, their own cars, etc.

Now get off my lawn

likefunnysmart

Yep that's clear. I shouldn't have said "breeze" because now people rather explain how life isn't a breeze for anyone. I should have kept it to "generational safety net" and this thread would have far fewer paragraphs. Thanks for answering

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I’m a POC that grew up with a white single mom. Barely got by. My mom is still jobless and now living with other family because she couldn’t afford her own apt anymore. Don’t generalize, please.

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1st gen mix. My parents shielded us from finances but I shared a bed with my sis for most of my childhood so safe to say we weren’t rich. Funny you should bring up safety nets. When I worked in NY as a jr/mid level I was always so jealous of my friends and coworkers who could go out and take weekend trips and didn’t live in the constant state of financial panic that I lived in. It’s taken 6 years, but I was just telling my mom the other day how proud I am that I actually dug myself out of the hole (student loans + 35k salary) and built my own safety net. Feels like my dollar is worth more.

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I grew up white and poor. I can't eat balogna (baloney) because it tastes like poverty to me. I remember my father raging at my mother because he "caught" her feeding us mayonaisse sandwiches... but that was the only food we had in the house that day (or, more accurately, in the trailer).

So, no, I didn't grow up with a financial safety net. I am still terrible with money. I'll probably die in debt.

That said, I am accutely aware of all the many ways that being a white male has conferred other kinds of privilege on me.

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When I was little I thought I was Italian because my mom cooked pasta all the time. Later I learned it was just because we were poor. I first part comes across much nicer. Baloney was a popular lunch item too with the pbj.

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