Did you or do you know anyone who decided not to have kids because of the demands of this industry even though you might have wanted to? Did you feel like you had to choose one or the other?

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I have kids. They’re a gazillion times more important and valuable and wonderful than this industry.

likesmart

No. I didn’t even think of it. Probably the easiest way to have kids 😂

The idea of someone not having kids for advertising just makes me sad. Maybe politics or academia or if you’re an astronaut. But freakin’ advertising?! It’s a corporate gig with a creative shimmer on it. Nothing more.

likesmartupliftinghelpful

Agree. This is sad. It’s infuriating how this industry has made us think that it’s so important that it’s worth sacrificing our time, our salary, friends and having a family. It’s all BS to keep salaries down and exploiting people.
I wish people knew feeling passion for what you do doesn’t mean having to sacrifice it all for it. Specially when what we do is not as essential as saving humanity.

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If you want kids, have them. The industry is just a job. But make no mistake — the kids will be the most unreasonable clients ever

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This is advertising not Doctors Without Borders. Have kids if you want them. Find a less demanding office if you need to. Dang, we’re a self-important industry aren’t we.

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It sounds like you need some serious perspective.

Kids are amazing.
And they help give you something else to focus one.
And make you realize work is just work.

Also, for me, having kids stopped me thinking and worrying so much about me.

‘You’ suddenly become way less important, and your focus and energy goes into them. I stopped over-thinking crap that I did without kids. For me, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Because, when you break it down, we are here to reproduce and raise decent, caring members of the next generation. That is our sole purpose. It isn’t to make adverts.

likesmartfunny

What do you mean?

Fast forward to your death bed. Are you going to be like, “Damn, I made some awesome commercials” ? Or better yet, is that the thought you WANT to have? This helps me decide whether to give more space to things in my life that fill me much more than my job.

likeuplifting

That VO talent ain’t gonna be bedside when death comes knockin.

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No, but I work in a parent-friendly office. I’ve worked in other office where that wasn’t the case. If your current office doesn’t support parents, look elsewhere.

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Seconding Digitas as parent-friendly. Not once have I been made to feel that I have to choose work over my kids. I haven’t been held back from the big assignments either - quite the opposite. And their mat leave?? 👍👍🥳🥳

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Have kids if you want to. That worry is your cold feet subconsciously trying to find a rationale.

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Holy crap. You’d give up having kids so you could write better pickle commercials?

likefunny

I’ve seen ppl decide not to have kids because they have a passion for the work, then get laid off b/c of an account loss. We’re all expendable and replaceable resources. Why sacrifice anything for a machine so cold and ruthless?

upliftingsmart

Yet people do.

Don’t ever not have kids if you want them. This industry is brutal, and not worth sacrificing the joy of being a parent. I have two kids, now grown. It was a struggle, but totally worth it. I love my girls more than anything in the world.

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I loved working in advertising so much that I postponed having a child until I was 37. I was scared it would affect my professional path since I had never met a pregnant Creative nor did I know of any other mama creative who decided to go back to work after having a baby. In hindsight, waiting worked in my favor. I decided and could afford to take off some time from working full-time after my baby was born. When I was ready to go back full-time, not only did I get a job at the exact same level I left but I also got 30K salary increase from my last full-time salary. I think coming back would have been a lot harder if I had been a junior.
My advice: want children? Have them. You will regret not doing so if you want them later in life. Advertising is just a job. Kids are your family.
Having kids isn’t any easy though. Just know it will be the hardest but the most wonderful thing you have ever done.

likeupliftinghelpful

This is what I think about pretty much every day.

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I waited until I was older to have my first and only child. When I had more experience or a better salary or less demanding clients... my biggest regret because I can’t have more kids. My only child redefined my life and in hindsight I would tell any company or client to blow me if they through they came first.

likehelpful

I was on the fence about having kids and decided not to. Long hours (which isn’t unique to our field) but more importantly, the city is expensive and my pay is average. I decided I’d rather stay in NYC (NJ because it’s less expensive) and enjoy my income than have kids. I feel like anyone making 6 digits or more doesn’t have to make the same decision. I’m sure I’ll get slammed in the replies but I grew up poor and don’t want to continue the cycle.

likehelpful

Jesus, people. I know plenty of people who wanted to but didn’t for all sorts of reasons that they shouldn’t have to justify. To act like this decision is so easy and doesn’t have nuance and repercussions is dismissive and privileged. No wonder no one talks about it. What about the people who are supporting family and can’t afford to step off their career path? There are so many personal factors at play for anyone making this decision. We’re already facing the ageism cliff, and can’t be guaranteed a career at all after a certain age. And obviously there are women (at least) choosing work over family, statistics support this. Why can’t we just have a conversation about it? This industry is toxic.

Thank you to those who shared their experience.

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The way you phrased the question made it sound like you are talking specifically about advertising. But your post above sounds like what you’re really asking is about foregoing kids due to myriad non-advertising specific reasons. That’s why you got the answers you got.

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Mother of a 3-year-old here. I’m constantly exhausted and I probably give too much energy to work, but having my son absolutely changed my life for the better. The trade off is feeling like you have a Scarlet letter on your back when you leave at 5pm sometimes. I tell myself not to worry what other people think and just do great work. So far, it’s a struggle, but I’ve found that working for other Moms helps. It’s all about the people. The toughest thing for me is advocating for flexibility when there’s a pitch or an unreasonable ask: why does a mother have to be at the agency until 11:30pm on a pitch? Those are the hard moments, you want to be part of the team, but you literally can’t keep up when you wake up at 6am and are in charge of another human being. I’d say it’s definitely possible but you have to not worry about what other people think. I do wonder how a client side job would be better for my lifestyle- problem is I love the work that I do. All that said, I’m still glad that I have a son. It’s amazing.

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Please please please don't *NOT* have kids, if you want them, because of advertising.

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As a 20 year veteran of the industry, I can tell you that advertising does not give a shit about you. If you play your cards right, your children will. No contest.

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Thanks everybody. Again, not asking for advice. Looking to hear how this industry impacted your decision. I really want to hear from people who felt like they had to choose one or the other and chose work. I’ve only ever worked with two types of lady CDs: the largest group being childless women and the rare woman who got to director level before she had kids. So to all you people saying just go for it, you’re also kinda saying fuck your career, too. Well, what about the people that can’t afford to shoot their career in the foot? One last time —- I don’t want advice. Looking to hear your experience.

Sounds like you perceive having children as an automatic “shot in the foot.” That perspective will be the most powerful force in preventing you from having them, despite the industry’s inherent limitations. Maybe start to think of how additive children could be to your career. Like how they will give new dimension to your reality, shift your world lense, expand your heart, introduce a new way of experiencing life, etc. That will surly be an experience that will be additive to your experience as a creative and your career. Give that more weight.

Also, just because you haven’t seen a strong precedent of a life you want to live doesn’t mean it’s not possible, but I recognize how anxiety provoking it is. You are a creative and surly could find a way to make it work if you want to. By sheer nature of being a creative, you’re already good at imagining what doesn’t exist yet and making it a reality.

You don’t need the whole industry to be set up in a way that supports your life ideals, or even 50% or 75% of it. You just need to find the 1,2,3,4,5 agencies, cities, people that can.

My words aim to empower. Take what resonates, leave what doesn’t. Good luck on your journey! ✨

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I love my kids, but to be quite honest, I wish I would have waited until becoming at least an ACD to have them. It’s hard to compete with my peers when they don’t have kids and aren’t on a time crunch. They can rewrite scripts for hours or stay after work till whenever, without repercussions. And that’s not their fault, that’s their choice. A choice I really wish I would have thought through.

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