Do any of you feel like your relationship with the husband is strained after baby and the demands of this job

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Lmao i see we all married thesame husbands 😂😂

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Is this need to “sit” a male thing? My husband is the same way and I usually get home and immediately start on some house task. It drives me nuts that he talks about “sitting” as like a thing to check off his to-do list. If this is normal maybe I should stop being so annoyed about it

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Suck it up, buttercup! - me to my husband when he complains about normal everyday shit expecting me to fix it. Being married and having kids was his choice as much as mine and we agreed on my job. If he doesn’t like it, I’m good on my own too. It’s not like I’m not pulling my weight.

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I second the point about introverts having to decompress. Both me and my husband do it, just not at the same time. He likes to decompress for 15-20min when he gets home. I like to get dinner started first and decompress after we eat. At that time he’s up and doing the dishes.

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I’m wouldn’t say strained necessarily , but different? I just think after having kids it takes more work to keep your relationship on the right path. You really have to choose your battles. I’m exhausted after work as is my husband. I was growing increasingly frustrated with his lack of participation after work with the kiddo/household chores and talked it out - he finally asked for 20 minutes just to sit when he got home to decompress, he couldn’t jump in after his day at work. I agreed and it solved SO many of our issues. That is just how it works for us. It’s hard figuring it out, but I think both parties need to compromise. Kids make things stressful and I think everyone agrees.

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@Manager 1 it must be! I had to let it go for my own sanity. It was driving me insane because I immediately start on things when I get home and it was slowly eating at me.

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OP, so I felt like that for a couple of years before I brought it up and then we both set on it for a while, and by that time it was too late and we made a decision to get a divorce. At the end of the day, it was the right decision for us and we are both happy now.

However, things may have been different if we tackled it straight away. So, my advice would be to be open with your husband and have a conversation about how things have changed, what changes are good vs bad, what is acceptable vs not, and establish new operational model for your relationship. I also wouldn’t shy away from a therapist just to help you figure this out.

Good luck to you!

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M1 - I am a female and also need time to “sit”. For me, as an introvert, I recharge by being alone the same way some people recharge taking a nap. Usually I just need 15-20 minutes to just be quiet and I’m good

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I would be surprised if most people weren’t feeling like this to some degree. My question is how do you all deal with it?

My husband is a procrastinator when it comes to household things. I have to remind him 100x times to do something. I have baby on the way, but the decision is more his than mine. Now I feel heavy burden because I’m the one who’s pregnant and still do most of the chores.

Can’t find the article, but it’s really common - a half hour to decompress after work/commute helps reduce fights. My mother in law shared the article a couple years back. Helps us reset when we’re getting cranky and picking fights without knowing why

Wow. Literally had this exact same issue and had argument last night. I honestly have been feeling constantly irritated with the hubs since we had a baby 5 months ago. If my team can manage up, why can’t he...

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I (36F) am married to another woman (34F) and we have a baby (5moF). We split all childcare, cleaning, meal prep, errands etc fairly evenly and it works well. Maybe she cooks more than I do bc she likes it, and I clean more bc I need to have a clean house. My friend (35F) recently took a business trip and literally put a binder together with instructions for her husband re: daycare drop off and pick up, what to feed the kids, when to take out the trash and so on. (Cont in comments)

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I got lucky and now have leadership that seems to care about my career growth, but I'm 1. a little overwhelmed taking over a new role from someone who went on parental leave earlier than expected and 2. not used to thinking outside my day to day job, happy to keep my head down and just produce good work.

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