{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Do other child free fish out there feel like it’s harder to push back on inconvenient hours because they don’t have a hard deadline of school pickup/family commitments? Has anyone had success at managing their boundaries even though they don’t actually have any hard commitments, other than managing their own mental health?", "post_id": "608d3a9c14b925002420a81b", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 11, "bowl_id": "5f20b8519110d60021d539ab", "bowl_name": "Childfree Lifestyle" }

Do other child free fish out there feel like it’s harder to push back on inconvenient hours because they don’t have a hard deadline of school pickup/family commitments? Has anyone had success at managing their boundaries even though they don’t actually have any hard commitments, other than managing their own mental health?

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Set your own boundaries and stick to them. This can be a workout schedule, dinner with friends or family, etc. I just say hey I need to finish by a certain time today or that I need to be away for an hour etc because I have a commitment or plans. You don't need to disclose what they are. Nobody has ever called me out to say oh you don't have kids so you can't have plans, and if they did I would come back real hard at them saying I chose not to have kids so I can have cooler plans

likefunny

Yeah I just put blocks on my calendar - no explanations. I used to over explain but I got over it.

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I used to, but just indicate now that I have a commitment. None of their damn business what the commitment is.

likehelpful

I have been on a project with a leader who is also child free and it is life changing! She is totally understanding of those that do have children, but gives me the same for whatever I might need as well - and she does the same

likeuplifting

Not me. I say I have a commitment and stick to it

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Agree with what’s been said above — no one needs to know what my plans are. Everyone is entitled to their time outside of their job and if it’s for caretaking obligations, taking a four hour bath, or anything inbetween — they are all valid.

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Yes, OP - this has definitely been something that has been more challenging in my current role than in my prior role at B4 because more people on my team here have kids. My boss has made it clear that he doesn't think it's inappropriate to ask people without kids (and yes, he asked if I was going to have kids) to work more, doesn't give a crap about boundaries, and also thinks it's ok not give people who work more than others more in pay/bonuses. It's a miserable situation because I should get more for having to work more, especially given work is distributed so unevenly, but he just doesn't agree.

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Absolutely!!! 1000% At all my past employers as well as the current one. I started to make up exaggerated stories about my aged parents to obtain the empathy those with children have! 💁🏼

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Boundaries are all upto you. I tell my leadership what i am doing instead of asking. I tell them i am taking PTO, i don't ask for it. You don't have to share information that is not pertinent to them. I block my calendar with blocks of time that shows me as out of office, if anyone asks i tell them my calendar is up-to date and if someone says why are you not available after work hours i just tell them i have prior commitments.

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