Do people change after having kids? My spouse has been asking to have a baby, but I can’t see how he handles the responsibilities of being a dad. He works from home, long hours, then only wants to be on his phone afterwards. Weekends are spent outdoor doing activities/sports/etc. He only helps out with chores if I ask repeatedly l, or if we have guests coming and need to clean. On his own he is rarely aware of what tasks to be done. Also argues back or making excuses a lot if I push him.

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Sounds like a burden, not a partner

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I was in a previous relationship where I carried all of the house work and errands due to my ex working long hours. To combat me being over worked and bitter - I hired a housekeeper. However, I had also come to terms that I would have basically been a single parent even though I had a partner.
In the end we ended up splitting and I feel like I dodged a bullet now.

I don’t see someone changing for the better unless something in their circumstances changes. Example a less time consuming job.

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Kids change everything and it’s impossible to predict every single thing that will happen after you have kids. Some people step up and some step down once they have kids, and you don’t really know until you have them.

However, I think you should have an open conversation with your husband and raise your concerns and desires. Do you want kids, are you willing to sacrifice your free time, etc? I would think that you discussed this with your husband at some point before you got married, so if you thought yes to kids back then, why are you saying no to kids now? These are just some things to think about before having a serious conversation.

We did have the kids talk and I always want kids. It’s just I haven’t seen my spouse acting as a responsible adult yet. His life has been all about school (phd) and then his work. He keeps saying he’ll be better but it worries me that if we add a kid into our life it’ll be just me doing the work. His first response to most of the things I ask him to help with/do is “I don’t have time I have to work.” Maybe his priorities will change after kids, but I’m not sure I am willing to bet my life on it.

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