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Where them 30+ ladies at? 25M 🙋♂️😉
Help! I just saw a girl what do I do???
New here. 35M NYC metro area.
Just take a look around your male colleagues and who they are married to….98% of the male consultants I work with are married to women who do not have jobs or work in very non-demanding careers.
Men are babies - they get intimidated easily and want to feel powerful. You making as much/more than them takes them out of the traditional “provider” role which many men can’t deal with.
Well as a teacher turned consultant...just saying hi here....
There’s power, success and self-actualization. Men who appear to be successful can be deeply insecure and threatened by someone else’s success. Men with power can be focused on being in control and calling the shots. Both will typically prefer women with less power and success.
I like to trigger these men into quickly going to find a nice part-time plant mom or Instagram model to impregnate and divorce expensively in 15 years. Not on purpose. I just used to think that intelligent, good looking men who made money had more self-assurance. So I’d date the guy who checked all the boxes and made more money, had more degrees etc. That’s not a foolproof formula.
Self-actualized men are the ones to fall for. They don’t care about what other people think and they focus on their own goals and achievement. They truly appreciate intelligence and independence. They know they are men and aren’t afraid of women doing their thing. If they are married their wives are substantive.
Of course they exist. But I also think people fool themselves first, then others follow. If a woman knows from the get-go that she doesn’t want to deal with the average man available, and wants, say an egalitarian relationship with a high status man who has been trained to purchase a female object or a relatively obedient helpmate, that’s probably not going to go well. Women initiate 2/3rds of divorces and that goes up to 90% when highly educated women do it.
I’m also not sure most women really want an egalitarian relationship, but more do at this time. So if a woman who does settles for less than that to meet an arbitrary timeline, it makes sense, but so does the higher potential to be unhappily married, and then divorced.
I don't care if women are "powerful". If you have an ordinary job that you're satisfied with and you're fun to be with, that's good enough for me.
Good words!
You will find a range of answers and it simply depends on the guy. I don't think there is any specific norm or rule on this.
I've dated women who don't have drive or ambition and I personally did not like it.
I'm currently dating a a partner and I'm incredibly attracted to her intelligence, drive, desire to succeed and more.
So there you have it. A completely non-scientific fishbowl sample of one 😊
Good luck and find what you desire.
Thanks! You as well! :)
Not sure how old you are but I'd like to think I am smart and driven! 😉
I would love a powerful women and not a housewife. Lets enjoy that double income and travel the world.
I think most men are intimidated and prefer to have a wife or partner that makes less so they can be in control.
It's easier to coordinate vacations and other family events if only one partner has a job that is more demanding on time. Alot of people work to live and don't desire a partner they don't get to see.
I am indian (raised in the US) so I get gender roles and to some extent even enjoy them but last few dates have made me realize that I may have to opt for less successful/ambitious guys if I want to have a say in the relationship. Please tell me that's not true and there are better men out there! Starting to lose hope...
P.S.- I am still in my early 30s.
Good to hear A1!
Hmm interesting.. I feel like successful/ambitious people seek the same. Ambition could be broadly defined though.. could be about seeking wealth, could be about being comfortable financially, but finding a balance. I’d put myself in the latter category, but definitely prefer a girl that has goals that she is aiming for
Perhaps there is also something to be said for the definition of powerful and successful.
Charismatic Vs Commanding
Influential Vs Authoritative
Assertive Vs Aggressive
Calm Vs Powerful
Passionate Vs Ambitious
Has a plan Vs Has an objective
Are they driven to success because of passion and ambition, or is that external success hiding a chip on the shoulder?
From my own lens, I know more friends who are confident because they are successful as opposed to successful because they are confident. The latter do exist, and are very driven too, but they may not always appear to be the super alpha type when you first meet them.
What would your definition of Powerful and successful be? :)
As a single, successful woman in my 40’s - interestingly enough a few girlfriends (also in their 40’s, in successful roles and single) and I were just talking about this at brunch over the weekend. So many friends we know - including us - are all quite happily dating guys who are similar to one another in that they are all very bright with varied but compatible interests, and all of them do not have career ambition or income trajectories we have - they are all gainfully employed, in roles like general contractor/owner, health care practitioner (technician/non-MD), small town councilman, etc. They are all community oriented and have nurturing personalities who are very proud of their gals, but the thing they most have in common is that they are not competitive with their gals careers. All of us at brunch had been in past very unsuccessful marriages / relationships with ambitious guys who were not proud of our accomplishments and ultimately constantly compared their stumbles or progress in their careers to ours. It is an interesting commonality across our group of girlfriends.
Do you find yourself usually dating the same type / person? As in, other ways aside from wanting you to be a robot baby maker? 🙃
Nothing wrong with that.. you like what you like! Even white men? Haha (30s White M here)