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We had issues around this for a while, until we got a joint credit card. Solved all the problems. Any time we buy anything for the both of us/house (groceries, cleaning stuff, dinner, etc) goes on the joint card. Every once in a while we’ll treat the other person to something nice & not put it on the card
Eek that sounds kinda bad. My husband and I make about the same, but at one point he made three times as much as me. And at another point I made twice as much as him. We just share everything- everything goes into a joint account. We both then have $400 put into our own separate accounts for “spending money” for silly stuff we want (him farragamo shoes, me lash extensions and Botox lol) the main account pays for everything else
We enter all common expenses: food, dinners, drinks, parties I plan and throw - he attends af the cohost :) - things we need for our home in a google spreadsheet - that part drives me nuts - and every month we settle the person that spent the most. Usually that is me - I said that if he wants me to put out expenses in a google sheet on an ongoing basis, I am getting the points from all credit card spending. :) We live together. We do not have common accounts. I never spend more than I earn but I don’t feel the need to track; my SO was always tracking all his expenses so this approach gives him comfort - I guess that makes me ok with it. Splitting expenses in half may feel unromantic but we still treat each other to dinners, gifts the other person will appreciate and since we don’t have a common account, this approach makes sure both people are contributing equally.
Bottom line is, you both need to be comfortable with the way you deal with your financials. Your boyfriend sending you a Venmo request for half of the expenses may mean he is on top of things and you may never have to worry about paying bills on time and retirement or college funds if you decide to have kids or it may mean he is not able to share. It is not a deal breaker but, as with all aspects of a relationship, talk about it and make sure you are both comfortable. And one last thing: trust your judgement! :)
Similar to @SC1. He pays rent, I pay for utilities and cable. We have a joint credit card for cell phone, groceries, dining out, travel, etc. For example, if we rack up 1900 on the credit card that month, I'll tell him to please pay 1000 on the card by a certain date and I'll pay the rest. We've been doing this for two years and never had a problem so far.
If he wants to know what we are spending money on, he can just look at the bill. Of course, if I going on a little shopping spree that month, I'll pay more on the card and vice versa.
@D1, why do t you just use Splitwise? It’s so much easier than a google spreadsheet.
Also just to clarify...we have our own separate cards too, for personal stuff like shopping or whatever. We use the joint card only for joint expenses.
At SC1: SO works for Google. He believes in the superiority of their products. 🤣 Good luck getting him to try Spiltwise! 😃 I will suggest to try it.
All the above sounds so much work - one account, one credit card — we just agree to discuss big ticket items. We are not big spenders so it works
Wowser, this is giving me a headache. Spreadsheets to figure out who spends what? Seriously, we’re married and figure we’re in this together - We just put in a fixed amount each month into our joint account and rent, utilities, savings and joint credit card gets paid out of that. The joint credit card pays for our groceries, entertainment etc. Whatever we have left after contributing to the joint is personal money to do what we want with.
Are your incomes about the same or does one of you earn more? I’m married but we still keep separate cards and bank accounts. I tend to take care of the day to day household stuff, he takes care of major purchases and saving/investing. I think if we were dating though and not married we’d try to keep things more evenly split as to not feel like either is taking advantage of the other financially
My so and i live together. We put everything into excel - track categories, which cards we use for what, who is spending and paying more, our goals and savings etc etc. we have a joint savings and are on each others credit cards to get the most out of cash back. Before living together, we just each paid for things sometimes, though he likely spent more than me. No tracking or venmoing or anything
Shared credit card helps a ton. That said, I still get pissed when I see he puts our “date night” on the split. I don’t care if I make more than he does - what happened to a little chivalry every now and then?
This would be a bit concerning to me as it sounds like too much of a roommate situation. When my husband and I dated in first couple of years, we just took turns in paying for different things thinking that it would balance out. If he tried to ask me for exactly 50% and tracking everything I would have personally felt that he is not in it for the long haul - because if you plan for a life together, it does not matter. It worked out in our case. But if you are not there yet this works too. If there is a risk that you could look at this differently, you could have a discussion with him and see if you’re comfortable with his point of view.
We split rent and utilities and every other week pay for groceries. I make much more than him right now so I usually pay when we eat out
It is a bunch of work but we appreciate knowing what we are spending our money on (ie “shoot, we already spent $500 on gifts cause of that one friends big shindig - lets take note & not spend so much on xyz” or “that unexpected $5000 on medical is going to change our savings goal for the house”). But we are in the early stages of our careers, have student loan debt, having our first child this month, planning a wedding, building our emergency savings, in need of a new car soon, saving for a down payment on a house, and helping family with their mortgage... so we need to make sure we have our priorities straight & our money is going where it should. Im sure we wont always put this much effort in.
We have a joint checking account and each put in $X per pay check. That pays for all our shared expenses (rent, utilities, and food). If we make a large joint purchase we each increase our deposit by the appropriate amount. We share everything 50/50 even though I make a good amount more than him.