Do you feel like you can be your real/whole self at work? If not, what parts of you do you leave at the door? What would happen if you were your real self at work?

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I leave most of my rachet self at home 🤣 I also hide all my tattoos. I don’t think anything would happen if I was completely myself at work because I’m just so damn good at my job what are they gonna say???

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i feel the most myself, when i dress to fit my personality, and use stationary/tech that I like.

the biggest difference is that I filter myself, and present as more "calm" and "composed" than normal. sometimes that's exhausting, but in a majority white practice group and field, i'm aware that stereotypes can be perceived very quickly, if i don't edit myself.

around close mentors and close friends in my field, i do not filter myself.

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I leave my sass home but will be myself in one on one encounters if I test and feel comfortable with my colleague.

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No, I hate being the only Asian here. I can’t even do the normal things a white man or woman would do, so being “myself” is a big no.

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Come to think of it though, there’s def a certain personality of person who cannot mesh with me, and it goes both ways. The authority type people who believe hierarchy trumps everything else. Thank god, I have a boss who can admit when she is wrong and is willing to consider my opinion on things.

Once, she was wrong, and I said as much - firmly. Upon reflection, I thought maybe I was out of bound so I went to her office to apologize for my tone. She said “why should you say sorry? You were right and I was wrong. Nothing to apologize for!”

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I leave my ability to be vulnerable. I am unable to let my guard down and present a softer version of myself. In a white, male dominated field, I have to assert myself and show some dominance to avoid being overlooked or ignored. It’s exhausting that I can’t show up like my white female counterparts.

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In this profession, absolutely not. I feel like it's all about appearances and show. Was slightly different when I worked in nonprofit.

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Nope.

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I'm pretty sensitive and empathetic in real life so I have to leave that at home so I can properly make decisions and be logical. I have to make like a rock at work.

Nope. I feel the need to be the most smart and most hardworking person at work. But honestly, I just want to lay in bed all day most of the time.

Not a hundred percent. I am fortunate to be surrounded by my brilliant colleagues but I also maintain a professional attitude in the office. Familiarity breeds contempt so I don't make myself too comfortable at work.

I have a Gemini moon. So there is a version of me for every situation I’m in and they are all slightly different and all the REAL me. So no work me is different from me with my daughter. Me with one friend is different from me with a different friend that has a different vibe and me with my family is different from all of that. They are all still me and I don’t feel like an imposter or phony. Also I don’t too often cross streams either.

I bring elements of my personal self to work. But also work is work—they’re not family. I like to separate the two and I do that by drawing certain boundaries. When I’m off work and around family I can let loose. At work I have no problem being a bit more PC, reserved, generally agreeable (for a lawyer). I don’t need to be my family self around work folks. But I’m enough of myself for them to know what kinds of things in my personal life may impact my work (ie, things about my spouse, schedules of my kids, places I go on vacation). I don’t want to be an enigma at work but I’m also not some completely open book.

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Any other moms?

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Out of curiosity, what percent of your work/analyses are Excel based? And what other softwares do you use the most (Tableau, PowerBI, Alteryx, etc.)

My work has been 90% Excel based 10% Access/SQL based and friends at other firms seem to be using way more advanced programs.

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I had a really weird interview for Creative Director today.

It’s a small startup. HR interviewed me and asked all the hard hitting questions (how do you get design inspiration, how do you deal with design roadblocks, what sets you apart for this role?) which I thought was odd for a screening interview.

They made some affirmative noises then said the next step would be a design test (one pager) which I would present to a panel of interviewers including the CMO.
Anyone else think this is odd?

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Any nice bar suggestions to watch the English Premiership (Soccer) in Dallas? Checked out Londoner found out they are closed and out of business.

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what is the best way to de-escalate customer situations?

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I’m worried my portfolio has too much detail- I’m more of a design strategist/ UX research person so I want to show my process since I don’t have outputs to share. Any advice?

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Hi, Is anybody working with Agoda? I am looking for a change and a direct referral wojld definitely help further.

Agoda

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Hi Fishes,

Can you provide likes so that my dm gets enable

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Any bakeries just as good and/or better than Gjusta?

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Are RPA projects still selling in your company? Is demand for these type of projects still high?

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What’s weil’s tech stipend/reimbursement program? Is it the same for laterals?

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Company with the best technology strategy practice? (e.g. type of work, pay, culture) It appears that a lot of companies including BCG, Big 4 and Accenture are looking for technology strategy consultants at the moment.

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Hi Fishes,

I have 5 Yrs and 10 months of experience in Fullstack .NET application development. Looking for a suitable opportunity.
Skillset: C#, ASP .NET MVC,
ASP.NET, .NET CORE, HTML, CSS, JavaScript, AJAX, RESTful APIs, Web services, Entity Framework, Sql Server.
Plz suggest if there are any openings.

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One executive I support wants to share his location/whereabouts with me through the Apple app, "Find My." He wants me to know whereever he is so we are right beside each other.

Would you feel comfortable? Or am I overthinking this? To me, I don't care where he is.

Am just wondering if this is an appropriate request to ask an EA?

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Does anyone have any tips for staying focused enough to bill consistently every day? It seems that I’m only able to bill the requisite 8-10 hours daily when I’m overwhelmed, not when I have a decent amount of work to do but no pressing deadlines. I made my hours last year but it’s been an absolute struggle trying to stay on track. I’m already down 170 hours from where I need to be at this point and unless I get my shit together, there’s no way I can hit hours. Ugh.

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Is there any good PG for men available near the office?

Hi,
Please help..!! need 11 hearts

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Hi Folks,

I recently received the offer from JP could you please tell me what will the the benefits which we get other then compensation and what will be the minimum hike usually people gets here?

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Is the office operational now?

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Additional Posts in Attorneys of Color

Chicago attorneys: know anyone who does financial planning for those in big law? 1st gen attorney and I admit I know damn near nothing about my finances beyond what my mom taught me which is keep a $20 in my wallet.

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Who’s putting in hours today?

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How's everyone doing? I was on social media today and reading about the Adam Toledo video and it took me back to last June, which on top of the pain from seeing this racist system continue to win out, June was my lowest billing month and hurt my confidence about hitting hours compared to my white peers.

How are other people dealing with 1) trauma of another racist murder by cops and 2) impact on work? I am not black, so my pain does not compare but I can't act like things are fine either...

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Can anybody recommend an attorney who reviews Shareholder Agreements/Restricted Stock Awards for employees? I have a friend who has received one and needs guidance.

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Did the post about "straight Asian men" get deleted? Left the room to make popcorn and returned to find it gone.

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Lawyers and Brunch in NYC sounds like a winning combination. On Juneteenth just puts the icing on the cake. Brunchin’ Lawyers gonna be a vibe. Anyone else going? Should be a good time to get away from the office and connect with other attorneys of color.

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Anybody just think fuck it and want to move back to their parents home country?

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Any black solos here that concentrate in commercial real estate? Or who had a commercial real estate background but went solo in a different practice area? I’m considering this move and would welcome your insight.

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My firm is hiring an a mid level L&E associate in its SF office. Please dm me if interested.

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It seems like every firm advertises that they support diversity and inclusion. What does your firm actually do in terms of mentorship or other programs for diverse attorneys and do you find it actually beneficial? My firm reached out about a mentorship program where they were supposed to pair us with a partner mentor who is also person of color, but I still haven't heard back.

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I saw that Orrick had an Attorney's of Color retreat in New York. Does anyone work there who can speak on how it was? If not, is there a retreat/coalition/group for Attorney's of Color at your firm?

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Can y’all define “ big law”? I do residential transactional closings for residential buy/sell, leases and business transactions. How do I get into “big law” with my related experience?

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Today is the first day of the new work week! What are your goals for this week?

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I'm frustrated and don't know where to go with this.

I was recently in consideration for a promotion but got passed over. I was told , in confidence, that I viewed as less serious about the role because I teleworked while colleagues were getting back to the office. That was viewed by senior leaders as being less serious about the job.

I mean, I have a job but I feel I will never advance if I use the benefits offered. Is this the same everywhere? Do teleworking lawyers ever get promoted?

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Does working for Partners (particularly Boomers) of your respective ethnicity or diversity demographic feel like the ultimate haze? Do you feel like they haze you worse than your non-diverse peers?

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Did not expect to find a bunch of Clarence Thomases in this bowl this past weekend.

Remember your roots. You’re a minority, and are privileged to be in this field. You are not divine, or a genius, you got lucky. Civil rights giants paved the way for you to step foot in law school. Respect them by lifting your community, and improving our quality of life.

There is plenty of space for all of us, and we are stronger together. Have some empathy for your kin and leave your bigotry at the door.

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Is it bad etiquette to spend less than $50 on a gift? We have a firm holiday party where everyone picks a name and gets a gift for that person, and I don't have a super close relationship with the person that I picked. I grabbed a random bottle of wine (with great reviews) but it isn't a super pricey bottle. There was no price limit but I don't want to look like a dick.

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