Do you go see your parents when they are getting surgery?
I've never been afraid of surgery before and my dad's had a bunch (from military). He lives a few states away but I usually get to see him quite often. He's only in his 40s and my mom is with him. The surgery he's about to have is considered high risk. I'm not worried or anything, but it's it customary to go see them when they're having a major surgery? He'll be in-patient for at least a week. Sounds I go after and help my mom? WWYD?

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They need you the most now. Kindly go, customary or not.

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You’d kick yourself on the off chance something happened and you didn’t see him. Especially with it being high risk I would think it’s worth the trip. Doesn’t sound like something routine.

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Yes, absolutely. Especially if it's considered high risk.

Cost of doing it and everything working out vs. cost of not doing it and something going wrong.

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Yes. I go every time, even for outpatient procedures. Even routine things can go wrong, plus I like being there to run errands for them or help with what they need.

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Wait, unrelated, how are you parents in their 40s and you are old enough to be on this app?
Also, I hope the surgery goes well. If it’s a risky one, I would go.

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OP, I’m jealous! Thankfully, my parents are very healthy and active, but I wish I had more time with them. Enjoy your young parents!

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Appreciate everyone not berating me for asking. I'm gonna try and go during his week long hospital stay, and definitely be there for the day of the surgery. There are tons of family in friends that live super close to help out at home and he's getting an at home nurse for the first 2 weeks. I'm mainly gonna be there for emotional support and like someone mentioned, just in case.

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🗣🗣GO

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Would you want your parents there if you were having surgery? This is no different. Go

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If it’s high risk and you can afford the travel… absolutely

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I understand, OP… my parents always say I don’t need to come and I never know what to do! I went when I was younger and could get away… now I try to read between the lines and figure out how serious it is and what they need. If they just need emotional support, then frequent calls and a few deliveries to the hospital can do it. If they need help with post-surgery nursing/mobility/rehabilitation, then I think it’s important to be there in person.

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As someone on the other side, I can say that it really depends, its not like everyone goes. Maybe half of our patients getting major surgery will have family visit, and in many cases the family are local or its just the spouse. I think if you can afford the time and money to, you should go visit but its not necessary.

helpful

Yes. Get home with them. Your mom will need you also.

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