Do you share your salary with your friends? I just got a raise and I'm so excited to celebrate that, but feel some hesitation as I know I'm outpacing my girlfriends and might get a snarky comment or two. What do you do?

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Personally, yes. My friends range from lawyers to congressional aides to fellow PR folks so our salary range is wide but we all cheer each other on because we all took different paths. I think as women it’s so important we share salary data because we are STILL underpaid compared to our male counterparts. One of my male coworkers at my last job made $20k more than me with comparable experience but he had fewer responsibilities. I only knew this because he was open with me and it allowed me to realize my worth.

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Depends on what your friends do. If they do the same thing as you, and especially at the same company, definitely. If there’s no benefit to them knowing the number, no reason to make it weird.

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I absolutely do. I want to not only make sure my friends & I are being paid fairly — but it’s also just a good way to keep track of market pay

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In contemplating this, I hadn't noticed that I approach it differently with hourly vs. salaried close family/friends. I have friends in many industries and fields, and we all have very different commitments for our budgets.

- Family/friends who are hourly, we talk about their pay in dollars (and we often talk about how to advocate for raises/promotions).
- Talking about myself or to other salaried friends, we almost always talk in percentages -- bonus, raises, etc.

For instance, this past December, my bonus was more than my (hourly) best friend makes in a year, so talking in percentages helps her to celebrate success with me but not make 1:1 comparisons with her own finances.

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No, never have but maybe I’m old school in this regard. My friends aren’t in the same industry so it’s less relevant. We still find ways to talk about investing, career growth, and encouraging each other professionally without needing to disclose a number that might cause resentment or comparison.

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I’m old school (and old) - there are 2 people who know what I make - my wife and my dad (who has given me countless pieces of advice over the years). Most of my closest friends are lawyers and one in particular is DYING to know what I make. It’s almost a game how I don’t tell him. At this point, I’m just not into the d!ck waving.

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Same! My husband is an entry level engineer following a career change/going back to school. I think many assume his salary, not mine, allowed us to get a bigger apartment. I just stay quiet on the matter 🙂

Yes, although I get the impression that my friends lie when sharing their salaries

funnysmart

Nope—I feel like it just engenders resentment. Money always has the potential to be a point of contention—with family too. It would be nice if people could be just happy for one another but in reality, most often it doesn’t seem to go that way. But congratulations on your boost!

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I think it depends on your circle of friends. If you have a supportive group and have conversations regularly about really personal stuff, they'll be happy for you. I have a small subset of friends that we always share this type of info so I would share with them. I more than likely wouldn't outside of that circle.

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If it can somehow benefit or empower them, absolutely! Think it’s also perfectly fine to celebrate a raise (an exciting accomplishment) without sharing the exact number if there’s potential for any swirl.

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I share salary numbers with my close friends and family. Otherwise I talk in general terms--either "I got a raise," or percentages.

But I always let people know I'm willing to share if they're interested and comfortable with the conversation. Sometimes it can help people in their own careers to know what comparable skills are worth.

likesmart

I started to just in the last few years bc i realized that as women we can help each other by knowing what the salary ranges are and if we are asking for fair pay, increase, etc.

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Yep we talk pretty openly but in ranges. Personally I am not sensitive to the money taboo. It’s empowering, especially in a group of women, to be happy for each other and lift each other up.

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YES. I’m all about pay transparency. I share with my coworkers, too.

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Echoing a few folks on here, but absolutely I share my salary with friends, and I often ask them to share too! It's up to their comfort level, but especially as women, I like to know that my friends are getting paid accordingly for all the hard work they do.

No. Don't ask, don't tell.

I share with one close friend and anyone I know who is interviewing for a role where I know that knowledge of my salary can encourage them to ask for more.

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