Do you talk about work with your loved ones? Do they resent you for it?

I have no idea how to create a work/life separation and it’s alienating everyone important to me.

Keep it separate. Don’t bring it up unless someone is like “working on any cool ads right now?” Which no one outside of advertising says.

My wife also works in a fast-paced cutthroat industry (Fashion). Back in the day, we’d both crawl home at 9pm, crack open a bottle of wine, and just complain back-and-forth about work until midnight when we’d eventually passed out from exhaustion and the Merlot buzz. Then we’d wake up and do it all over again. It was like Groundhog’s day.

Honestly, it took a toll on us. We never enjoyed each other companies, we had no hobbies, we lost touch with friends, etc. Luckily my wife is the smart one, and made a conscious effort to stop this cycle. At first, it took a lot of effort NOT to talk about work endlessly, but now I can barely stand TO talk about it. Of course, we still gripe about work occasionally but the point being it’s no longer the centerpiece of our dialogue.

I definitely talk about work when I get home. Talking helps me process and I love getting the outside perspective from my husband. Both of us are passionate about our work and like keeping up with each other's careers, even if it's the latest office drama.

Most loved ones discuss their days/ work. Care to explain further? Is it that you never stop?
It’s very hard in this industry to put the work in perspective. I have that problem as well. The best I’ve come up with is to do what I can to leave it at the office and remember what we do really isn’t that big of a deal, despite how the industry can makes us feel. Secondly is to have another creative pursuit. That helps force advertising into perspective and make it less all consuming.

The only person I actually tell the truth about work to is my girlfriend. Otherwise “work is going well, yeah working on some really cool stuff!” No one is worse off for it.

I second SP1. We are both passionate about our jobs and love hearing, venting, being a sounding board for each other. And we can be honest & respectful enough if we’re diving TOO deep into industry shit to just be like “ok, reel it in.” Or “ok, I’m losing interest now.” But when it really matters - a huge opportunity or change, we are all ears for each other. My partner told me his wife barely knew what he did and that blew my mind! My man even lets me run scripts by him.

If a person or loved one can’t share in your happiness when you had a great/successful day or support you when you had a bad/disappointing one... what’s the point? - Work is a part of life... if the other person can’t handle your part of life like you handle theirs, then it’s not a relationship worth keeping because it’s void of substance and sounds selfish.

We do not discuss work in our relationship. Although that was not really my choice i do understand his thoughts on it as well. For him his work (marketing client side) is just a way to earn money for the life he has besides work.
All evenings, mornings and weekends are about us and not discussing work related things is actually pretty nice

That might be a sign that you’re not satisfied with your job

Absolutely talk about it. My husband doesn't work so he has to be, I think, just as invested in my career success. Phrased differently, he earns his "income" by supporting me. He also had a complementary career when he was working (before health issues took him out of commission) so his perspective is invaluable both as an outsider and as an SME. There are caveats: he only gets my perspective, so his feedback and perspective is somewhat biased; it's not the only thing we talk about - we still have friends and hobbies and whatnot; and the stuff he does at home is no less important to us than the stuff I do out of the house. It's a balance.

Friends not so much, they get selected highlights and "truthy" stories (that don't go into full sausage making), or really broad generalizations because most don't care that much and many wouldn't understand the full detail anyway.

I too think that since it’s such a huge part of your life, and where you spend so many hours, it would feel odd not to talk about it. I try not to bore my wife, and I do sometimes, but I want her to know about my life and I want to know about hers. Also, I didn’t have a hobby or creative outlet for about 15 years...bad idea. I just got one (hobby) last year and I’m infinitely happier. A thousand reasons why regular hobbies are good...they will all be super clear to you as soon as you start. Oh, and therapy rules! No time tho

I go to therapy instead 💁‍♀️

I feel you OP. I think therapy can help, in addition having friends either AT your current agency or who work in advertising is crucial for me. That way I can bitch. Meanwhile, my boyfriend and family have no idea the fuck i’m talking about and i’ve actually found it freeing. So we can focus on us, but that being said the balance of therapist plus friends is key!

No one cares. I’m ok with that. I ask about them instead.

My wife is a client......so.....yeah.

No, she has plenty of other reasons to resent me.

Which conversations are you starting and are not well received/turning people off?

Maybe if you can create more of a work/life balance in real time then it will translate to a work/life balance in your conversations! I know that’s tough in execution, but just a thought.

I do. One of my partners hated it, he was a nuclear engineer. The other partners I’ve had worked in advertising and production/broadway and they enjoyed talking about work. I know some people preach about keeping them separate but it’s such a huge part of your life-you spend the majority of time in your day on it, I like to be able to talk about it.

I talk about my work with family and friends quite frequently. They don’t hate me for it. Rather, I think they’re quite interested and ask a lot of questions since most of them are in different industries and want to know what’s going on in my space. The friends that do work in the same industry seem to enjoy talking shop as well. Maybe because we like the gossip? Also, it helps us vent our frustrations.