Consulting

Do you think considering someone your best friend requires that they also consider you as their best friend?

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This is a heavy question for this bowl.

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I don’t think it is helpful to get fixated on “best friend” and friend “ranking” so to speak. Value your relationships, invest in them, ask for what you want and need re emotional support. But you do not need to have this type of friend ranking - it doesn’t help anyone.

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Agree. There’s a person I love I call my best friend because that has been out moniker for 17 years, but I’m really much closer to 3-4 people I text daily. It seems childish to keep using the term

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Yes, otherwise you have different expectations for the friendship from each other and that hurts/imbalances the friendship

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Nope

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Yes, in the classic sense. A “best friend” is certainly special, so it has to be requited. Not unlike a spouse, so it can’t be one way. I do agree with D1 not to get hung up on it. But if you’re going to use that description it’s better to be clear about it too. My own experience has been that a best friend prevails in school and college days and not as much post-teen, particularly in transient workplaces. That said, it’s great to have one if you find that match.

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It depends on what you consider a ‘best friend’. Personally I don’t have a single best friend I have a group of best friends who are my closest friends. For all of those people I’m a close friend to them but there are no single bests. I agree with Director 1, outside of knowing who’s there for you and who you would sacrifice for ranking to a single best friend doesn’t have much meaning and can put unfair expectations into a relationship. Especially is they don’t consider you their ‘best friends’.

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But to answer your question - by definition, no.

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No. And, in fact, several people considered me their “best friend” at school, while I only considered one of them as my best friend. In the past, I’ve been the one that had a best friend who had several other best friends that included me. Some have many, some have one or few. The older you get, the more you realize that it’s the quality of friendships and the time you put into them that matter, not the label.

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I wrote my thesis on this!! The general consensus (within my lab and discipline) is that there is an unconscious ranking of friends - so everyone has an unacknowledged Best Friend 1, BF2, etc. It is most beneficial for your BF1 to also perceive you as their BF1, this ensuring the strongest friendship and loyalty within the relationship. However, this dual BF1 scenario is honestly not that common in "the wild"

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Anyway, so I moved from friendship research to due diligence work...

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Yeah dawg

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Nope. I have a few very close friends. My "best friend" has many other close friends but I don't feel undervalued.

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I have three people that consider me their best friend (one of them even calls me the very best friend in the whole wide world) and none of them are my best friend. I consider them all close friends, though.

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When I buy people lunch and drinks. Everyone wants to be my friend.

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