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Well, if the relationship was toxic and they were a bottom that means their partner was either a switch or a top…and ALSO in the *same toxic relationship.* Toxicity affects all partners in a relationship. And if the other party(ies) are walking away unscathed, they were probably more of a perpetrator of the toxic behavior than the receiver, since usually victims are more likely to vocal about the drama/baggage than the people who are, ya know, abusers/toxic boyfriends.
The idea that bottoms are more codependent (which is usually a relationship attachment style associated with submissive personalities, since not a lot of stone tops are socially perceived as clingy as their bottom counterparts) is rooted in gender stereotypes.
I’ve known my fair share of gay tops/switches who were very clingy and attached to their partners, but it (from an outsiders perspective) looks more obsessive/possessive and controlling, since they as tops are often also the more sexually dominant (however that is *not* always the case). And I’ve heard gay doms & tops complain about how toxic their ex(es) was/were and how they were always starting drama. But there’s two sides to every story. I know more bottoms who are working on having better relationships and identifying toxic patterns in their past than the latter. Accountability and all that.
Takes two people to be in a toxic relationship...
No, people with codependent personalities are more codependent
Rising Star
I think it’s common. I think it’s not so much codependency and more just straight up dependency.
We still live in a world where the penetrator is associated with more power/dominance. So more bottoms fall into toxic relationships with a power imbalance.
I think it's silly to make generalizations and stereotypes simply because someone prefers a certain sexual role. And why did you say gay bottoms? Doubt there are many straight bottoms.
@ associate...I asked because I thought only gay males used the terms bottom / top. I asked to learn, not to offend.
Pro
I do think there's an innate correlation between bottoming and clinginess.