Do you think opposite-gender friendships can stay only as friendships?

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Yes - one of my longest and closest friendships is totally platonic. We noticed we kept getting seated at date tables when we'd go out to eat, so we had a really frank conversation to make sure we were both on the same page regarding staying friends. He's now engaged to a lovely woman who I'm also friends with.

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It's a table clearly intended for couples or dates. Usually by a romantic spot or more private.

Yes- I’m amazed this question is asked so often.

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Friends yeah, close friends where you hang out 1 on 1, text, and emotionally invest in one another not really. As you get older you really only have time for your significant other.

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D3 One of my closest friends, who happens to be of the opposite gender, is having surgery next week. They live alone, 2 hours away from me, and have no SO or family close by. My spouse’s response to this news was immediately “when are you picking them up from the hospital?” Followed by “I’ll tell my dad it may just be me coming for x-mas if the recovery takes that long.”

I wouldn’t have married a SO that responded differently for any friend of mine needing help, regardless of gender.

A relationship that insists there is only time for each other is unhealthy and/or abusive. That is no way to live a good, healthy life. As for the “as you get older” part, I’ve been friends with this person for ~30 years, we met as adults. As we’ve gotten older and, hopefully, wiser, my SO and I have made far more time for friends, regardless of gender, because we all need the support more.

Trust me, Deloitte ain’t gonna be your rock and support you when SO leaves you for being controlling and untrusting.

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Sure. I'm a dude and with the exception of my (in retrospect) hilariously awkward teenage years, I've always tended to have more female friendships than male ones, with all female friendships being 100% platonic.

Of my 5 closest friends right now, 3 are women.

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Yes. F 🐠 here and my best friend since childhood is M

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Yes, and I am honestly a bit concerned for people who believe this isn’t possible.

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Yes. My longest lasting friendships are with members of the opposite gender.

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Absolutely. Straight male here who even had a female roommate in college as well as grad school. Never got any wires crossed. The one in grad school actually introduced me to my now wife.

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Yep, so much so that I think it’s weird when people in romantic relationships say they started out as “best friends.” Nah. Best friends don’t secretly wanna bone.

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Yes one of my best friends is female. And yes I have a long term gf as well. No issues

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As a gay man, I have a very close gay friend for 24-25 years, we are literally like brothers. Zero sexual attraction between us. He is like my extra pair of eyes looking at me from out of my body and my mind, he is a very trusted advisor that always provides well-intentioned advice, including relationships, and we stay at each other’s houses when we want / need. He is one of the very close friends I have.

I have 3 very close friends who are women. In this case, one has been my friend for 16 years and two have been my friends for 17. Despite couple thousand miles of distance, and hours of time zone difference, we keep in touch. We meet in person during our vacation times. We talk about everything, including relationships, sex, and men. And, it’s not like we as gays are the mascots of women. We were friends long before I came out of the closet to them.

And, I have 2 close straight male friends. They are very nice and sweet people, at least to me knowing that I am gay. We meet in person on my vacations in my home country. I trust their friendship. Maybe none of these people were as close to me as my first (gay) friend, but I do form decades long friendships, and gender is not a parameter I take into account.

Do I have any crush on these people? No. It is like having a crush on a brother, or sister, and, it would be sick ... I don’t really know how you folks are defining friendships, but many of my friendships aren’t shallow or superficial. Once I feel that mutual trust is there, and we are not selfish; we both want to remain close friends.

Some people are only school friends, or work friends. Once the school is over, or you move to another job, the contact is lost. I send texts to these friends for a while, get late replies or no replies, and say “Ok, time to move on”.

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Only if one of you is very ugly

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This

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Yes. I do always think that one person in the friendship had some romantic feelings toward the other at some point during the friendship.

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Yes??? Lol

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Welcome to the dreaded FRIENDZONE!

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BA1 - nice gaslighting. Women do not have a problem with the “friend zone” and will very rarely ever use those words. There are exceptions, but you’ll see that People who complain about it are most often men, who are rejected by their sexual interest because they can’t comprehend that women exist more than for their sexual gratification.

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Yes they can. I live with my straight guy best friend and we have been platonic our whole ten year friendship.

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Of course. I’ve been happily married for over a decade, and I have a few totally platonic woman friends. Same is true for my wife and male friends.

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People like to say yes, but if the guy in the equation is being totally honest with themselves, they would bang probably 99.9% of the time if the girl is remotely attractive and the opportunity presented itself and situation was right.

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Maybe it's because I never had any sisters, but some of my closest friendships that have lasted since childhood have been with women. We never had the "if we're not married by 30" convo as teenagers, and have genuinely been there for each other through tough times during periods where young people often feel isolated or afraid to ask for help.

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