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I think they are a victim of patriarchy and are simply doing what they are taught. Sometimes my mom is so unbelievably unreasonable, but I have to remind myself that she doesn’t know any better. I sympathize with her, and as a woman, I vow to not put my own child through that. So in a way, my mom indirectly taught me to break the cycle, and I think that pushes the women’s movement forward.
Same M3, it’s a learning experience!
Pro
Op- I get where you’re coming from! Seen this first hand in my family with the only difference that my mom, despite the fact that she doesn’t stand up for herself, never stops me or my sister from doing whatever the hell we want to do, however the hell we want to sort a situation. So that kind of helps. But I understand your point. Most moms from previous generations are just trying to pass on what they learnt in their time. And believe me, there are so so many takers of those learnings, you can’t imagine, in the name of love or respect! And those will be passed on to a lot of upcoming generations. So I absolutely agree with your point, it does take us a 100 years back in time, irrespective of the movements that are happening right now to improve women’s situations in society.
Lack of empathy and jumping onto conclusions is one of those learnings too, and you can see many live examples on your own post :-) If you know what I mean.
But the best part is, we are still born in a much much better time than our moms. So we can make the most of what we have and improve things for upcoming generation, where people understand and empathize with each other more, are courageous to stand up for themselves and nobody tries to bring them down! Good luck to you and do what works best for you instead of listening to your mom (if her thoughts don’t align with you) hugs!
Uh, You have some issues.
Pro
M1- Really? I think folks like you are a part of the problem too!
Eh?
Rising Star
Ha, I got really lucky. My dad is a feminist and my Mom always won every argument. I also had a college Professor aunt who had a PhD and lectured everyone at the dinner table.
So aunt getting paid for the lecture or was it probono? 😆
Chief
Both instances may not be related. Are you saying they are making up for not being able to stand up to their partners by trying to discipline their kids?
Chief
Yep! All we can do is encourage each other
It is opposite in my family, I think our moms control us a lot more and my dad caves in everytime to my mom.
Nopes. He doesn’t control, entire control is with mom.
Chief
A1, this is a great way to look at it. I also think that in this case it’ll be helpful to get the mom some therapy so she can learn to go easy on herself and the kids
Definitely!
Chief
No I don’t think we should go back a hundred years to British Raj.
And I want to have whatever you’re smoking. Because that is an awesome mix of buzz words
With my mom- I am scared and my dad is scared shitless . Go Indian moms.
Chief
Well hope your dad is doing ok. I think marriages should be balanced, otherwise things can get toxic real soon
I think the whole family needs an intervention. Why does your dad feel he can act this way and why do your mom and you oblige? Cook a nice dinner, talk it out like adults, hear everyone out and do whatever the hell you want to do... problem solved!
Rising Star
Op need more clarity here. Is your mom disciplining you because you said something that she found disrespectful or she doesn’t agree with you and instead agrees with your dad?