{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Do you think women in consulting have to choose between having children or committing to consulting?", "post_id": "58bf128795ba2400103aa809", "reply_count": 74, "vote_count": 38, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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Do you think women in consulting have to choose between having children or committing to consulting?

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@A2 - I kept in contact with others when I left the firm when my first kid was 9 months. One particular girl contacted me a couple years later, as I was then working locally as an employee at a big corporation as a liaison between the IT dept and the business, to design and implement patient assistance programs for people that couldn't otherwise afford them (you hear about it in all those fun medical commercials, ha). She was at the beginning of a project to implement Oracle for our city's light rail system. I didn't know Oracle at the time. Jumped in feet first and ended up being there 3 years - I actually made a contact on that project and went through her instead of setting mine up because I was 25 and she was in her 50's and already had it all setup. She worked on the project too, so it was just a little bonus for her, as we negotiated a stupid low amount for her to get. Ha. I actually really loved it - I was there for 3 years, which then got me onto a 6-year project, but they wanted me to join a small firm (I did, and I was the 12th employee). I was hesitant because I liked being independent. It ended up being the best company I ever worked for. Everyone had "once upon a time" worked for one of the big firms, so this was opposite than that on everything. It was amazing! EY bought out that company years later. Definitely got lucky, as I know they had been entertaining other firms for years. I have about 8 contacts that are still independent, at that same client I was at 10 years ago. Crazy

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Thank you! 😊 It's been a ride. As long as you stay focused on what you want (both personally and professionally), it can work. It's a lot of work, and we maintain the most detailed calendars out there, I bet. My kids are in select and competitive (travel) sports, and you have to rely on your village to help you out. I've actually probably made more friends that I would never have even known, if I didn't reach out to ask about carpooling, etc. @OW1, my nanny was originally my son's teacher at his Montessori preschool, and we loved her so much, trusted her, and had known her for a few years, so we approached her to come nanny for us. We got lucky in that she had been thinking about a switch. Again, my first two kids are 6.5 years apart, so we had known her since he was 2. We looked for a nanny since he would then be riding the bus home and we had a newborn. I can vouch for Care.com as well, though I did have 1 terrible experience with someone they sent, but that was for backup care. I think somehow that one slipped through the cracks. But I have found that Care.com in general is a fantastic site to use. Just be sure to spell out exactly what you want them to do, as I've seen the lines get blurry sometimes. I'm referring to things like emptying the dishwasher, cleaning specific things, etc - as long as you're both on the same page, it will be great! Good luck!!

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Both men and women, IMO

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I'm in the market to be a stay at home dad.

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Depending on their age/career yes. Everyone does to different extents

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Having children and committing to consulting? No.

Raising children and succeeding in consulting? Yes.

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As a male, I'd be more than willing to let my future wife continue her career in consulting, if she was passionate about it, and have myself move to industry to make room for children

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I have both but I don't pretend that it's easy or glamorous. I don't blame people who decide to pick one over the other.

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I'm staffed locally (NYC / FS), don't really expect to travel. If you love in the heart of your industry (and your industry allows for that) the. Things can be ok. Eg federal in DC, FS in NY, meth in Utah, etc

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I am a female, and I've been in consulting for 17 years, though I did leave big firms to be local for a couple different stints. I've been traveling pretty consistently for the last 4-5 years, as I'm part of a National practice, so we go where the work is. I have 3 kids, and the surprise that I get from people when I tell them that is pretty humorous. They always ask "who is taking care of the kids while you're gone??" I say, "Well, they do have a father..." My advice to younger women is probably more about making sure you're picking the right partner in your life (if you can't trust him at home with kids, that should probably be a red flag LOL). to be able to both do what you want, career-wise. If you do that, you'll be ok. Of course there are guilty moments, but I'm also showing my girls (and boy) that they too can succeed and do whatever they aspire to. It might be a longer road than what all your counterparts are doing (as far as promotions, etc), but that's just one thing to think about. One of my husband's dreams was to open his own business, so we took the time after the last kid was born to get that together. The flexibility that he has through that is key.

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Yes.

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Anyways... I've seen the higher ups with kids have stay at home husbands or ones with less demanding jobs

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House husbands are becoming more and more commons

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I am a new mom on my first travel gig back after the baby. My husband just called with my infant howling and weeping for me. This is a point of no return and i feel like shit. Either way you just cant win

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@D6 (cont) just know that you will get through this and when you get home they will want snuggles and kisses and Mommy. You can do this! And if you decide you can't, I am sure you are qualified for many awesome local industry gigs. 😇🙏🏻❤😊

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AT2 I agree that both have to make that decision. The clear pattern that I'm sure we all encounter is the male on the road and mom at home or local. I've only spoken to one female partner who has an au pair because her husband travels too. I don't hear too often of women on the road and their husbands at home. Thoughts?

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I cannot wait to be a stay at home mom

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Idk why I read committing suicide. Kinda did a double take here..

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I'm about to have my first kid and my husband is supportive about me continuing in consulting (he has an industry job). If the travel gets to be a problem, I obviously would prioritize family. But I don't think it's impossible to find a solution. Having said that, ever since I got pregnant, I looked around and noticed that there are almost no females below the partner level who have children.

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My kids are far apart, probably because of work travel. My first kid was not planned, we were only married for about 15 months when he was born, and I was only out of college for about 18 months when I had him, so I didn't feel I had many options to NOT travel. I was the road when he turned 5 months old, until he was 9 months old (that's when we used to have to get there Sun night and couldn't leave before noon on Friday, talk about torture). Then I left the firm and stayed home for 5 months, decided I really enjoyed working, and went local for a few years. I then went independent and about 5 years later joined a small local consulting firm. I traveled my entire second pregnancy, and had my second baby there, but I didn't travel for a few years - I was actually on a project where I worked from home 100% of the time (govt projects have no "extra" money, ha). Then EY bought my company out and a couple years later, I had my 3rd baby. I transferred into a different group at EY and that's where the travel started to come in. The kids are now 16, 9, and 5, and they are perfectly fine. ;-) I did have a nanny for baby #2 for a couple years since my husband didn't have his company up and running yet; he was still working at a big corporation. As another post said, it really is what you do with the kids when you're there, if you're present when you are with them, etc. I do plan a lot of things for them that my husband gives to them or puts out for them when I'm gone. It's more work, but it's worth it. They grow up so fast.

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I want to say no, but the gender ratios of our partners would indicate otherwise. The data speaks. Period.

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Think of it this way - the kid won't remember the meltdown.

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