Does anybody ever feel like the only thing they’re good at is being an attorney (when the imposter syndrome isn’t in full swing, of course)? I’m having one of those weeks where I feel like I’m a bad wife, I’ll never be a good mother, I’m not in shape, and I’m not as good as I once was at my hobbies due to lack of time. I’ve been trying not to define myself by my career as much, but lately it feels like it’s the only thing I do well…sigh.

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

At least you feel you’re doing THAT well. Most of the time I feel I’m falling short in all of it…

like

I guess I should say I feel like I’m good at “being a professional.” Which is different than feeling like I’m a good attorney. I’m good at working hard and being responsible lol

like

Or it is the thing you spend the most time on in your life?

like

I’m feeling it extra hard right now because I’ve been working towards pursuing my hobby again and had a big failure/setback this weekend. I know I can’t compare myself to where I was a decade ago (and I’m proud of myself for even pursuing it!), but it still sucks. Especially because doing anything on a regular basis outside of work is so difficult.

like

What’s your hobby? Is it something you need to practice?

like

Theatre, so yes. You don’t entirely lose it, but I’m definitely rusty. I’ve been dragging my feet on taking lessons again (I haven’t since college), but I’m finally going to commit.

like

Are you me? Did I write this? Jk bc I don’t have kids, but, please add: (i) shitty daughter bc I don’t visit my parents nearly as much as they wish I would, (ii) the friend that constantly cancels/bails early due to work, (iii) the indiv that carries their laptop to every event/vacation bc work is most “important” even though it’s all stress-inducing af (but if a martyr here), and oh (iv) mental/physical health regularly plummets. Ngl I’m stellar at commercial litigator though. Send help.

like

Why the need to be “good” at your hobby if it’s really something you enjoy? Seems like that’d take the joy out of it. I love being active and I try new things often, which means I always suck! Like, I’m not a great mountain biker, but I love to go. And I kill my plants but love trying to garden. I think we need to give ourselves freedom to express ourselves and be creative in our other pursuits without adding the same kind of pressure our job adds to be good at things. Enjoy not being at work and being human, mistakes, “rustiness” and all

I struggle with this. There are a lot of things I enjoy doing, but my perfectionist brain gets hung up on whether or not I’m “good” at them. It keeps me from enjoying things sometimes. Though when I did competitive sports, I actually did care if I was good at it. Because it mattered then.

like

Yes, I feel that way all the time. I remember two weeks after my daughter was born saying I should just go back to work because at least that is something I can be good at.

Related Posts

Currently in industry and looking to come back to consulting. Looking at KPMG, PwC and Accenture as options to recruit for. Which has really good health insurance for maternity and how good was the maternity leave for you?

like

Pregnant wife just returned from A meditation retreat and is craving Indian food. Any recommendations for decent/ authentic places in Dallas/ Irving area?

like

Question: I’ve seen so many women get in mommy mode and throw their hobbies, careers, everything to the side as soon as a baby arrive. I don’t want to do that and in my mind I feel that I’ll still get to be myself. Does being a mom naturally make you lose your previous identity? It’s hard enough trying to move up within our roles but is this naturally in us?

likesmart

Started taking prenatal vitamins , ubiquinol and vitamin D. Been doing this for a month to prep to get pregnant. Breaking out like crazy for 3 weeks now. Are these linked?

like

Mother superannuated today and was able to watch her farewell speech. Feeling very emotional (i.e. tearing up at midday) as I recall our humble beginnings and how much my middle class family has sacrificed and achieved. My parents sent their only daughter for higher education abroad and it is tough to see them grow old. Getting exposed to so many new facets of life as a 25F…. just one of those days. Kind words only please 🙏

like

How will my fellow Desis see an unmarried woman adopt a child? Is it gossip material?Anyone adopted as a single parent?

like

Any suggestions for baby moon? Can’t travel out of the country and should travel before mid November. Live in Chicago.

like

I love my baby like she's an actual human but she's gotten very big and strong. Pulling has become a huge issue. Yesterday she pulled my wife over. I bought a choke collar which I don't want to use but I feel I have no choice. Any thoughts?

like

Okay what’s up with the child tax credit? Moving it to 3,600/child under 5? And give people monthly payments of the credit? Is this really true? So if I have 2 kids under 5, I get a check from the IRS Monthly of $600?

like

Anyone recently gone on maternity leave in California? Mine starts next week & it seems like the only option to receive the State paid disability portion is on a debit card instead of direct deposit?

When did queer become ok to say & why? I played “Smear the Queer" as a kid/had no idea what it meant; now I find it as offensive as the N-word. Why “take back” a word instead of just not using it?

like

Any tips for transitioning to maternity clothes? Did you put away “normal” clothes that didn’t fit or choose a section of the closet for maternity and bigger sizes? We have limited space, but I also don’t want to get too cozy in my new size large clothes and forget about all of the pretty, smaller things I used to be able to wear. 😩 Only first trimester but have already had to go up a size and feeling scared.

like

I’m pregnant & relatives have started asking if I will “stop working.” Am I being overly sensitive if I find this insulting? I’m very happy with my career. Of course they’re not asking my husband that

like

Planning a bridal shower / bachelorette party weekend for my elder sister (she’s 28). She wants to have it in NYC, which is where she and I live. I’m thinking bridal shower at Union Square Cafe or some other fancy restaurant Saturday morning, bachelorette party Saturday night (but no idea where), and then casual goodbye brunch at my parent’s place on Sunday AM. Her friends would fly in Friday or Saturday morning. Have never done this so need all the advice / suggestions! Thank you!

like

Seeking a Mandarin language nanny in NYC for our child. Let me know if you have any agency recommendations or direct leads.

like

2 weeks from my due date for our first. Any last minute tips/baby bucket list items? Other than “sleep!”

like

Someone on the ✈️ asks to swap seats with you so they can sit next to their family, are you the type of person who says Y or N? Aisle to middle swap on a 6hour flight..☹️ but its a mother w/ 5 y/o kid

like

I grew up with strict father who doesn’t like getting happy and showing emotions , there are instances I felt this was specifically for women. When I got out of my home around 17 for college I became a very cheerful and excited person for every single thing. I loved myself , enjoy every sunset etc. met my boyfriend who was an introvert but he used to feel so happy seeing me happy for tiny things in life. FF 7 years - married and all I hear is sarcastic comments for my emotions. Contd..

like

Anyone deal with post partum depression or depletion? I’m so foggy (18 months after 2nd child)

like

My husband and I are expecting and both of us have moms diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD.) My dad passed away earlier this year and my FIL lives in Australia and is the nicest man. He’s just far away from us since we’re based in the NE. My therapist says your family doesn’t have to be blood related but I can’t help but feel sad our baby won’t have grandparents or a similar type of figure easily accessible/ nearby. Can anyone relate and/or have a similar situation?

like

Additional Posts

How many people are on the bench/beach at your firm?

like

That feeling when all of your teammates start to roll off :(

like

Currently in industry and looking to come back to consulting. Looking at KPMG, PwC and Accenture as options to recruit for. Which has really good health insurance for maternity and how good was the maternity leave for you?

like

Hello UK fishes 🐟: any of you work at Deliveroo? Looking to gain insight into the company culture and opportunities. TIA

like

Best book to read for beginner investor?

like

I had a quick freelance job and am now invoicing. Do you itemize each portion of the project? E.g., About page - X hours, product descriptions - Y hours? Or just “All your stuff - ZZ hours”??

like

I have an MBA and cpa.. currently doing technical accounting consulting, but would like to transition into a T2 firm management or strategy consulting position. Would anyone like to have a call and refer me to a T2 consulting firm?

like

If I get a CFA but have zero experts in investing or portfolio management, will the Charter, alone, get me a job? If so, what would my expected salary be? I’m 40 yrs old with 14 yrs of public sector Defense Budget experience making $102K now for a Big 4.

like

Are you finding it easy or challenging to translate your "in person" lessons to an online format?

like

Do you spend your entire per diem? Or do you prefer low-cost food options (chipotle for example) and save the rest of the per diem?

Time to switch to bonds in your 401k?

like

Coming from non big 4 audit, is PWC’s private company service a good move?

like

Uber driver couldn't find the LGA marine terminal this morning. Happy Monday 😒

like

Anyone ever successfully referred an SO? I am obviously biased, but I am also not going to refer someone that is not qualified. Any suggestions as to how to ensure the referral is taken seriously?

like

A wonderful friend recommended me to a recruiter, when the recruiter was looking to place a creative. This role is at a small agency, I’m going to be paired with a Sr. Copywriter. They’re looking for a conceptual thinker and brilliant designer, no pressure. I have some internships and some freelance under my belt since graduating portfolio school, and a current laptop that’s running on fumes ha. I’m intimidated, cautious, yet super grateful to finally hear from someone. Any words of wisdom?

What is the average pay range for a manager role in KPMG Global services in Audit function?

like

Big 4 quitters...Did you have an Exit interview - which firm and what did they ask?

like

What are my fellow Indy advisors using for benefits? Our family ditched the traditional medical for a Christian share plan last year, So far all is sound. How about Dental? Any bad experiences?

like

Drinking seems to be built into big law atmosphere/ central to networking. Any tips or lessons learned?

like

Is moving from MBB to FAANG non tech roles (strategy & ops) worth it? How is the career progression?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.