Does anyone else feel bad if they don’t give around 20% tip at restaurants, even if service was subpar?

likehelpful
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I waited tables for a few years throughout college. I personally wasn’t using my tips to pay and electric bill or feed a child but got pretty close with the servers who did, so I really feel for them. I will say most days I’d work a 7 hour shift and leave with ~$150. Most tables usually tipped me more than 20% but I was really efficient and cute🤷🏼‍♀️ (hate to say but it definitely didn’t hurt).

One thing a lot of people don’t realize unless they have waited tables themselves is that they are required to tip out the hosts and expo. At my restaurant, it was 2% of our total sales. As a lot of people have mentioned, I don’t think restaurant have handled this well

All that being said, I do give servers a lot of grace and usually tip ~20%. I tip more with exceptional service, but I’m not afraid to tip less when service is really bad

likehelpfuluplifting

Well OP, I'm a former server so maybe I have high standards. I experience disappointment with servers far too often.

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I am a European here and I lived in Asia. I don't think restaurants are right in making pay so low that ppl need tips to survive. I waited tables in the US and I was once forced to work for a little over 3 dollars an hour when minimum wage was 7.25. Still, I barely tip because of personal beliefs.

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But while it’s our system, people need to go with it. Americans get slagged for not observing local customs, same should apply here.

likehelpful
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Not at all. Do you feel bad if you don’t buy something a salesman is selling? Commissions are a major portion of their take home pay. The waiter is essentially trading a stable income for the possibility of making more. Tips are essentially commissions for their service. They know they will make more if they provide better service.

I also hate this tip creep. It used to be that 10% was a solid tip, then 15%, now 20% is expected. Tipping shouldn’t be percentage based, imo. If my meal is $100, why is the server entitled to $20 for less than an hour of work? If I buy a bottle of wine for $100 during the meal, why should they receive $20 for opening it? Tipping is bullshit, but servers don’t want an hourly wage because it will never be as much as they make in tips. Not to mention the lack of income taxes paid on cash tips.

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There are certainly different factors that go into tipping. For people on commission, I try not to waste their time if I know I'm not going to buy what they are selling. Like I said, the system of tipping (specifically in the service industry) is terrible. I hate tipping for everything, but if we didn't tip, some of these folks (some of my friends) would be homeless.

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If I’m in a state where the sales tax is >8%, my quick rule of thumb is to round the sales tax to the nearest whole number and double it.

If the service is exceptional, I’ll go closer to 25%. I try to give servers benefit of the doubt, and understand some things are beyond control. So yes, if the service is objectively poor, I’ll tip closer to 10%. Fortunately, that rarely occurs in my experience.

For coffee shops or fast casual, f**k off with the damn “18% 25% 30%, other, no tip buttons” on the square tablet or whatever they’re using to ring you up.

Pouring my coffee, rolling my burrito, scooping my ice cream, etc. do not warrant gratuities!

likefunny

So so true!!! Lol

No. I tip 15% if bad and 10% when horrible- should be zero though.

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As a former waitress, I can say: tip good when you get a good service and tip less when it’s bad. Don’t feel bad, it’s their job.

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Absolutely. Because it's literally a major portion of their take home pay. So if we won't pay and the restaurants won't pay, they will have a worse life.... I always try to overtop for truly good service when I can. Restaurants need a full revamp on pay structure. It's a huge issue. Like restaurants basically shift payment of staff to the public who eat at the restaurant when you think about it 🙄🙄 would love to hear your thoughts

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Thanks! This was helpful. I usually tip over 20% because of the payment structure. I always feel that I am making up for someone who didn’t pay a “good enough” tip to this same waiter/waitress.

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Then there’s the whole question of tipping on pretax or post tax total

likefunny

Always pretax. Why am I going to give an extra 8% on the tip for the government?

likesmart

I don’t like America’s tipping system. I come from a country where customers don’t tip because it is their job to do the work you go in for. But I do tip 18-20% and feel bad if I tip less, because society.

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Former server here. My guide is 15% for ok/good service, 18% for great, and 20% for excellent above and beyond service. No tip for bad service. Haven’t done any differently in the past 10 years and don’t plan on it.

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I was a server about 4 years ago for 2 years for a fairly large restaurant chain. In my opinion it’s hard to be a bad server so it’s very rare that I don’t tip. A combination of constantly forgetting things, spilling drinks/food, and being very inattentive is my definition of bad service and would cause me not to tip.

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No, why pay more for someone who doesn’t do a good job?

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I always tip 20% for average service, 25% for great service, and 15%-5% for bad service. I try to contribute to the servers’ take home but if the service is bad, they stop caring about the server’s take home.

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I just tip 20%...because it’s easy to calculate in my head.

likesmart

I don’t think I’ve ever left nothing but I have no problem giving less than 15% if the service sucks.

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Never never tip on post tax. Otherwise people that work in States with no sales tax are being screwed

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Since you brought up different states I've always thought it was a little odd we tip the same in states with no tip credit as we do in states where servers have a w2 wage of as little as $2.13. Minimum wage in my city is $12.50 (moving to $15 soon) with no tip credit.

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I grew up in restaurants (my family owned several and my mom would often step in to serve). I will often give the server the benefit of the doubt (e.g. maybe just having a bad day). and I’m careful not to blame them for kitchen mixups or management policies. But when service is really, really bad, I will tip less.

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Thanks Mr Pink.

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Sure but I also once worked F&B and these people generally get below minimum wage and have to pay out tips to pools or the bar, so...pay it forward and keep the world turning is my mantra, regardless of the service. It doesn’t make or ruin the meal anyway unless you’re already touchy about other areas in your life.

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EY1 - EXACTLY

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I always leave at least 20% even okay service :( idk why. And then when you add in a few cocktails I start feeling like Oprah and like I should leave extra. Bad habit lol

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Must’ve been good service 👍

For me it’s completely dependent upon the service. I have no problems giving zero if service was shitty but if I was very happy I will give 25%-35%.

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