Does anyone else hate themselves every single day for not being better and for not making better choices? I’ll see people who graduated with me post about new roles on LinkedIn or their engagements on instagram and can’t help wondering where I went wrong and what I could have done differently. It’s been 30+ years of living like that and I don’t understand how other people are not as insecure / self-loathing as I am. What does your brain say to you if not ‘you suck’? I can’t even imagine.

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Comparison is the thief of joy

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This^ was just typing it but figure some had to have said it already. You’re going to enjoy life so much more if you just live it for yourself!

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Nah, I think I’m awesome. Sorry to hear, though.

likefunny

Quit comparing yourself to others. Only compare yourself to what you were a year ago

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Sometimes I feel like this, and then I see what’s happening in Ukraine and remember all my problems are fake

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I don't hate myself every day for not making better choices because for 30 years, I was one of those people against whom others measured themselves (in my mind at least). In the last 5 (assume I'm 35), that's changed, and now I wish I had invested in crypto, joined tech, or at least made Partner by now, like more successful people I know. Oh well. I had a good run, and I take comfort in the fact that I'm 95th percentile, even though I'm not 99th.

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I could have written this myself :/

likehelpful

Start with a therapist. It takes work to change that self talk (I’m striving to do the same). It won’t be an overnight change but slowly you’ll shift your attitude and approach problems slightly differently. Not your fault you’re thinking that way - could be nature or nurture, or a string of bad luck. So best you can do is try to avoid comparison of others and focus on little tweaks you can make each day or week.

likehelpful

It's time for therapy, friend. I know you think you can tough it through this, but 30+ years?! Please let someone help you. We all need support sometimes.

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Not exactly the same situation but ~10 years ago (I’m 30 now) I hated myself and worried about comparisons all the time. Never thought I was good enough.

I picked something in my life I did enjoy, focused on it, became happy with who I was with respect to it, and went from there. Repeated it for other hobbies until I developed a sense of who I was and what made me, me.

I found peace in my hobbies. Sports or exercise is great for you emotional health. But any hobby can be a path to happiness. Friendships based on the hobby, something to look forward to have to yourself. Sure I still get jealous sometimes or see people with better stuff than me and feel bummed, but I’ve got other stuff going on in life now and I think much less about those people.

You’re not alone, you can change this feeling, but it is a journey.

likehelpful

Social media is toxic don’t look into it too much

Hi I can’t relate now but always happy to lend an ear if you need someone to talk to. Just know people aren’t being flippant when they advise you to get off social media and see a therapist.

Me

I always made decisions to enjoy my life. Have close friendships and fond memories of younger days. Have confidence in my ability to maintain a better quality of life than most of humanity. Married my forever man.

If you’re happy with the life you are leading, then someone else’s success should not diminish your own.

It sounds like maybe you’ve been living your life for someone else or sacrificing things in hopes of certain outcomes that aren’t panning out as expected. That’s a rough spot to be in. You can start to choose more for yourself vs. following someone else’s definition of success.

Ive made some mistakes in my life…things I regret…but you learn from them.

Like the time I was really high and stole a car and crashed it into a police office. Do I regret it? Of course I do, it led to a lot of questions I wasn’t prepared to answer like “why would you do this” and “how did a beehive get in the car”.

But life gives you second chances, because my dad was chief of police, I didn’t get a record and learned from my experience. And sure, I made a few weird posts on Instagram that day and they were a bit embarrassing because I was 35 and some people said they were “disturbing” and the invites I had to weddings were rescinded, but I was just doing me you know? I don’t need to compare myself to anyone.

The lesson here is that mistakes happen, but sometimes the consequences aren’t as bad as you’d think and you have to keep living you life: but definitely do it without crystal meth.

Sorry guys, I couldn’t resist just want to lighten the mood! Please don’t be offended!

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