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Does anyone else make significantly more than their significant other (that you live with)? How do you structure your finances? How do you avoid resentment?

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These posts offer the starkest contrast in FB generations I have seen. There are differences between millennial and partner experiences on our typical topics of conversation like WLB, making partner, compensation and office goings on. However, the intricate financial controls and allocations designed to achieve " fairness " is completely alien to me. I have been married for over 25 years and my wife has worked a good portion of that time. My earnings are roughly 10 times her best year. We have always had one account and she has the checkbook, My trust in her is unabated. Given the draconian divorce laws and the number of new/ non-traditional relationships, I am not surprised there are new approaches to household finance. I am not judging and don't really know whether these " new approaches " are good or bad., but I do know one thing, they would confuse and fatigue the hell out of me! I would throw up my hands, play dead and let her take it all to avoid having to think about it

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I make 50% more than my bf, and we aren't there yet but we have talked about finances and when he moves in we will split my mortgage and all expenses 50/50. It will be cheaper for both of us than our previous situations, so I don't see why it would be a problem. If I was trying to live in a more expensive house that was out of his budget, I probably wouldn't make him pay half.

As far as other expenses go, my vehicle is twice as expensive as his and his is paid off while I have hefty monthly payments. He is more frugal and does research before buying things while I value my time more and will pay a higher price. So I think we will make a good team when we start combining assets, and any shortfalls I have with spending too much money will be compensated by that fact that I bring in more of it. If we want to spend money on vacation or something and it's technically "my money" even though we will share it in the future, well, I love him and definitely won't mind.

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Yes. We share everything through. We're a family, we have children together. My money is our money and one day when he makes more than me, his money will be our money.

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I split shared expenses 50/50 with my boyfriend, but I have to say some resentment has built up on both sides. Part of me wants to do it on a percentage basis but the other part of me is like, it's not my fault you're not motivated to make more money. I was strategic and worked hard to get here, it didn't just fall into my lap, why should you benefit from that? I'm worried I will become the breadwinner later on and carry that burden while he gets all the perks, such as staying home with our (future) kids because it makes more sense financially, and then they will love him more because he's the cool relaxed dad that's always around while mom's working! ((Lol))

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Keep money separate and every else falls into place.

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Perhaps I'm being sexist, but I think it's less of a problem if the guy out earns the lady. I've seen so many marriages fail if the roles are flipped. A woman tends to lose respect in the guy.

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i make more than my husband. both of our salaries go into a joint account. from there, the money is transferred to various savings/retirement accounts and used for joint expenses. we also each get an allowance every week into our separate individual accounts. we can spend our allowance on whatever, but joint expenses are budgeted. we get the same allowance even though i make more because we are equal partners in this marriage. it works for us. definitely can see it not working for everyone. suze orman has some good ideas about couples finances when someone makes significantly more. try young, fabulous, and broke, it talks about ratios. otherwise, you might need a different guy.

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We split rent on a percentage basis, and food/shared appliances in some capacity. If it's something the other person doesn't use (i.e. Makeup for her, guitar stuff for me) then we pay for it ourselves.

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Am I weird for being super worried about this becoming an even bigger problem later on. My LT gf is totally fine being a teacher forever where as I want to be rich as F.

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What's mine is his and what's his is mine. It all goes together to support our apartment and lifestyle. We save together to go on vacations, buy cars, and eventually buy a house. If there's ever a question of someone spending too much, we sit down and work it out like adults. And we honestly aren't comparing paychecks..

I really don't understand why a married couple would have separate bank accounts.

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It works out great ! No problems at all. She has access to my account and spends most of my money on designer clothes and hand bags! I should have stayed married

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Why would you resent each other? Of my chick made more than me I'd feel like a champ

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*everything else

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^^ interesting, broad, and yes sexist statement.. can't say I agree. For all you know a man could be self conscious that his wife makes more than he does and maybe it rips the marriage apart

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Married 12 years to a nurse, so early on our comp was comparable. I take the mortgage and so.w of the other bills (car payments, etc) while she covers household expenses. So as other things roll on (like childcare) I take them versus her. The one big thing we do is budget each year that each of us will put $X to meet family goals each pay check (savings, vacation, etc). The extra you get to spend how you want out of your check. This has worked well for us.

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In my marriage all money is equal. Paychecks are deposited into one bank account. It think combining funds is a great approach. Kind of aligns both parties to the same financial goals. But you need a lot of open communication and trust. This works for me and my wife. But won't work for everyone. Best adobe is to have an open dialogue with you significant other.

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I make significantly less then my SO. Fuck public accounting

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I think you should agree that a proportion of each of your salaries goes into household expenses. So for example each of you contribute 1/3 of your salary to rent and 1/4 to food and entertainment. That way you are not focusing on dollars.

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Sounds like you are with the wrong person, OP. But i am driven and a career rockstar myself. I have been married for a long time. I nearly lost my marriage to resentment last year and had to reframe my approach to looking at the different strengths we bring to our marriage rather than my husby being less motivated than me, weaker than me etc etc.

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My partner is a PhD student so I out earn him and always have. I pay most of the bills plus most discretionary spending. He saves up for specific things he wants but I have no problem covering them. I want us to be able to have the same quality of life and all contributions to the relationship aren't just financial. He'll probably continue to have a shit salary for 5-10 years before making a good living. We have one account for shared expenses and separate accounts for personal spending. For any of his personal or splurge purchases I don't see the cost and don't worry about it. If he wants to save up stipend money for months and buy gadgets go for it. He pays me a set amount each month to cover rent, insurance, ect. but I just put it in a separate account to payoff his student loans once he graduates.

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As an aside we aren't married but are the only beneficiaries on our wills/life insurance, and have PoA and living wills for each other. We would elope but our families would shit 🙃

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