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It seems like everyone's situation is twisted by this. The most extreme I've seen is a couple where one got furloughed and one is working more than ever and it's an explosive division between them. The furloughed one wants more of the others time and the other feels like they'll lose the one remaining income if they don't work extra hard.
Not a consultant, but dealing with a very similar thing in the ad agency world. My non-agency SO works maybe 4 hours a day tops and then gets upset with me for not being able to hang out with them right at 5pm. I’m just trying to keep up with the workload and keep my job.
Rising Star
Yes I am sleeping on the couch because SO does not understand all the weight on my shoulders and just keeps piling on. I realize we are great when I’m gone 4 days a week. Home all the time is no good. Not sure if we are going to make it through this.
I have known several colleagues over the years who's marriage survives only because they were on the road 4 days a week. One in particular seemed like they made it a very ceremonial and fun Thursday night return then he left again Sunday and it kept them sane. Had nothing to do with work being stressful.
Rising Star
Was a stay at home mom. But kids are long since grown. We are fine income wise. It’s more a question of not realizing the insane pressures I am currently under.
Chief
I’m the spouse to a consultant. I try to be supportive and clear and flexible when I do need help. But I totally recognize that their salary and bonus dwarf anything I could make and therefore make my lifestyle possible. That doesn’t mean they can be a jerk or not help, but it does mean they get a little grace.
It would go south very fast if they refused to help when possible or talked down to me or took me for granted- or I if resented the hours they put in or made a fuss about the little things.
Enthusiast
I just wish my husband would be able support me- opposite problem! I make too much more 😳
I'm the breadwinner, and my husband is a homemaker. The arrangement works for us, and he goes out of his way to make my life outside of work as easy as possible, especially what he sees I'm extra stressed. It could be his personality vs. your SO's or communication between us about expectations, but I definitely do not have this problem. If anything, the pandemic has been positive for our relationship because I'm home more.
Enthusiast
Conversely my nurse girlfriend who works with Covid patients gets to come home to me answering emails in my boxers. Her stress ends when she clocks out though so I get it bud
Chief
It’s hard to see someone all the time, but they never have time for you.
I’ve never been so lonely as I have been during the lockdown, even though we both WFH and we basically spend 24/7 together in the same 1,000 sq ft condo.
Clearly, you have not managed expectations.
Enthusiast
Surprised SO is also not feeling impacted at work this year. What does s/he do?
Enthusiast
Oh yeah, then I get that.
Pro
Communicate, communicate, communicate! Honestly, openly, and often.
Enthusiast
Assuming that you have cordially communicated your stresses to your SO, I suggest therapy/counseling. Not a joke. Knowing nothing else it sounds like y’all would be perfect candidates to help increase effective communication.