Doing some step work this morning - what’s everyone’s favorite step? For me, step three has such power and grace within it.

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I like to think of it as, “work the steps…to the best of my ability”. Sometimes I want there to be “more”, but I’m probably just not “there” yet.

Tangible things that constitute “working a step”:
- reading the section in the big book
- reading the chapter in the 12x12
- Listening to the Joe & Charlie (search on YouTube)
- using a step guide (I can share one, but it should certainly be worked with a sponsor who agrees with it)
- working with your sponsor to “complete” the step
- sharing about the step in a meeting (ideally at a step meeting where they’re on that step)
- talking with folks before or after a meeting about their experience
- journaling about what’s going on in your head related to the step
- and specifically for step 3; it “came to life” when I *wrote down* my personal definition of a Higher Power. That was the game changer for me.

likeuplifting

Thanks D1 I will work on that journal exercise today. I was at a meeting yesterday and the divine started to speak to me through little coincidences and this really heartfelt story from one of the members who got the whole room in tears. Thank you 🙏🏼

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There is an old school thinking that " a drug is a drug is a drug." Heard it a lot when I came in 35 years ago. So much progress made, but some people in recovery can't let it go. This is even addressed in the big book. The message to you is that some sponsors aren't for you. Go to meetings, listen to many people speak.Listen for one who speak what you can hear. Big danger in harming your own recovery because of one person's actions. It has been an excuse for many to go back out. Please let the program work a while and you will find that principles before personalities works. No one person is the program.

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I was reminiscing, I wonder what the “a drug is a drug” people would say about modern America where we take more drugs per capita than anyone. You’d be hard pressed to find a handful of people in a crowd that were not on some drug, if even Advil or Lipitor. We love our drugs! 🇺🇸

I'm going through the steps again as someone who relapsed after neglecting the program for several years, but Step 5 with my first sponsor was lifechanging and I will always be grateful for that night.

likeuplifting

I would like to look that up, thanks for the suggestion. My sponsor just bailed on me so I’m discouraged at the moment. He does not want to work with me if I’m on any doctor prescribed drugs.

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Congrats on 60 days! Its a misconception that once you become sober then life will be rosey. Life can be very painful at times. People will do and say things that will hurt.. The difference is you become willing to feel your feelings and accept that they are normal and will not kill you. In the past you tried numbing it and now you feel it. This is good work. It means you are working a program. But, be careful not to deprive yourself of your own serenity because of the actions of others. Quick judgments might cause you more harm than good. It may feel like you are protecting yourself. But restricting yourself from recovery activities will just isolate you and diminish the quality of satisfaction you are having.
I'm not saying that you should go get another sponsor right away. It may take a while to find a rythem that works best for you. Just based on your responses, it sounds like your old sponsor's actions are inspiring you to stop doing the things that helped you recover. Your sponsor was doing what he believed was the best path to recovery. He has the right to be wrong. I'm sure he did not mean to wrong you.
This is a progress not perfection program and Its OK for people to make mistakes. EVERYONE made it into the rooms because of their mistakes, even you. Sponsors are not responsible for solving their sponsee's problems. Your problems are all yours to figure out with or without a sponsor.
Look at all of the things you gained up until now. You earned them because of the work you did. You started showing up for yourself 60 days ago. Keep showing up. The benefits compound on themselves and you are worth the hassle.

likeuplifting

“Favorite” is such an interesting concept when it comes to the steps. The ones I want to do least, or the ones that I initially understood the least, end up bringing the most reward.

If I had to pick a favorite though, it’s hard not to choose Step 1. Bill says it’s the only one we need to do perfectly. I’m powerless, and without help my life is unmanageable. The willingness to do step 1 is what got me sober and keeps me sober today; therefore I choose it as my favorite. 🎉 Whoop whoop!

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Step 3 and 11 have been the most profound to me.
Step three empowered me to choose an alternative paradigm.
Step 11 gave me the strength to believe in myself, change my old habits and have the courage to lean into a life that was more satisfying.
*this was a hard question. All of the steps have profound qualities that brings serenity. In the past when a challenge arose, I unconsciously reverted to my drug of choice. Now I fall back on the steps to help me cope and grow with each challenge life throws at me. Some challenges are VERY difficult. Those challenges may require me to work through all of the steps in a day. Other times I will work just one step.
I chose Step 3 and 11 because I find biggest character defect to being blind to my inherent greatness, so I to manipulate others in accepting that I'm not worthy and treating me accordingly. Step 3 and 11 force me to give myself a chance in life. However the other steps allowed me to work out the problem.
There are time I do all the steps in one day.

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Can I ask…when people say “work the steps” what does that mean?
I just read step 3, it is lovely and elusive to me. So should I journal out how I am not surrendering to the HP? Surely just reading the chapter doesn’t do it.
Ideally I would like to just wake up to this surrender to the HP, but my brain is always churning, clearly my ego bustling around trying to make sense of life, admonish those that hurt my feelings today and just freak out like normal human brains do. Any suggestions?

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