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So sorry you are going through this! I am currently taking a break after two failed IVF cycles. Hoping this break will help give some mental and emotional healing and some clarity as to what our next steps are. Sending virtual hugs!
I came to the conclusion that most people who talk about IVF out in the open are more prone to be those who saw success and saw it early. And it may cause people who go into without quick success to feel less hopeful when the first few attempts at reproductive assistance goes wrong.
After spending close to 18 months on fertility apps and chat groups I am convinced that the majority of people endure IVF for numerous rounds, many with several seemingly hopeless cycles, before finding success. And it’s those brutal stories of nearly lost hope that can give you a glimmer that there is still a chance for IVF to work for you.
So here is mine…
3 failed IUIs led me to IVF
I had two retrievals yielding zero embryos before finally getting one healthy embryo in cycle 3 retrieval.
Since then, I have completed 7 total retrievals and have just four embryos on ice as a result. More rounds yielded zero than those that gave me 1-2 embryos to hope workout.
Some rounds I had 28 eggs retrieved and zero embryos as a result. Other rounds I had 6 eggs retrieved one one healthy embryo as a result. There was no rhyme or reason, it seems.
One or two rounds of poor results doesn’t mean it’s over or hopeless. It may be the 3rd, 5th and 7th round that bring you the embryos you are desperately working so hard for.
Try to continue looking at IVF as a marathon where some miles you may pace “poorly” but you may surprise yourself in the next mile or two and gain good ground. Try your hardest to just be consistent with what you can control: eat well, sleep well, take vitamins and give yourself some breaks along the way mentally, physically and emotionally.
Chief
I 100% agree with this. I think some folks in this bowl know my story but it’s a similar story of almost lost hope.
5 failed IUIs. First round of IVF yielded 3 normal embryos, and the first transfer stuck. I thought I was one of those early IVF success stories. And then I miscarried. Following that, I had a chemical and a failed transfer. On to second retrieval. Another 3 embryos. Another miscarriage and two more chemicals. Round 3, zero embryos. I was pretty crushed at that point and decided to do another retrieval back to back. Round 4 got 6 normal embryos! So we tried 2 more transfers and had 2 more chemicals. At this point I’ve had 8 failed transfers and finally decided to look into surrogacy. We signed with an agency and I did my 5th and last retrieval. Got another 5 embryos from that. So now we’ve got a bunch of good embryos banked, but need to find a uterus that can actually carry them to term.
Hope is a funny thing. I truly don’t feel like I have any left but I guess I must if I keep doing transfers and keep burning through savings to find a surrogate.
Hey there. My SO and i went through 5 IUIs and then tried IVF, and we only got pregnancy on the 4th attempt. A lot of money involved, we had ran out of insurance coverage but the rough journey was so worth it with a healthy baby.
What we believed made the difference was taking care of the body like others mentioned. We took time off from work (luxury i know), and the SO did acupuncture to relieve stress. Also stopped all alcohol and caffeine intakes, and exercised more than usual, and tried to go for healthy diet.
Conversation Starter
How long did you do these lifestyle interventions?
It can feel hopeless but I agree with the above. Knowing what you’ve tried and haven’t helps. On your first cycle there’s a lot to tweak that can make all the difference. Sure it’s a numbers game but all it takes is one quality egg. Keep that in mind. Wishing the best for you.
I wish I had words that helped me with my failed IVF, but nothing did. I had 6 eggs and 0 embryos. I will say I got a second opinion, asked what they would have done differently, and it made all the difference. Take care of yourself and give yourself some grace. IVF is really hard.
Same here, I'm 39 and first round of IVF left no embryos to implant. Some days I feel I want to start to die and some days I feel better. I'd really love to have some companion during process because I can't talk with any one about this.
Chief
I’m so sorry to hear about your journey. I get it. It feels like the longer it goes, the more isolating it is. I feel disconnected from my friends and family who just can’t understand what I’ve been through. Even most of the friends I’ve made through this journey have seen success and moved on. Of course I’m happy for them, but to be at a point where even “normal infertility” seems so remote and unrelatable is really really hard.
I would definitely see a different RE for a second opinion.
And also, research donor eggs just so you are armed with alternate paths.
Hugs. Been there.
Conversation Starter
I’m so sorry. I could’ve written this nearly word for word. It felt like a punch in the gut. I got the call in the morning and took yesterday to be sad (around 2 pm I just had to stop work - I was too depressed), and from here we are just going to go at it again. You’re not alone in this. I’m grateful that you posted, because I sure woke up this morning needing to read these responses.
I did 6 rounds, did it all (acupuncture, supplements, you name it) then ended up going the donor egg route. My baby boy is now 4 months! It’s so hard emotionally and physically. Keep your head up.
I am in the same situation as you. First round of IvF was cancelled / second round 4 follicles with one egg that was not mature and third round had nine follicles with one egg that was not mature. The doctor has started to broach the topic of egg donors. I’m 39 with low AMH. I’m convinced my lifestyle doesn’t help - too much work stress. I have a work sabbatical that I am going to take this June and try one more time with IVF. If it doesn’t yield better results than we will move to egg donor. This is such an emotional rollercoaster - and you experience so many lows. Hang in there.
Rising Star
Sorry for the news. I would suggest to take a mental break from it. And maybe get a second opinion on this. In addition, the lab that is tied to the clinic is also very important, learn a little bit more about them as well. Just curious, how old are you and are you doing ICSI for the IVF?
Don't lose faith. We are going thru and no luck yet but stay positive I know it's hard but what else can we do???
Chief
I’m sorry. That’s a tough milestone. If it’s helpful, retrieval results can vary wildly cycle to cycle with slight tweaks in meds (and even with the same meds). I’ve done 5 retrievals - worst round I got 14 eggs and 0 normal embryos. Best round I got 38 eggs and 6 normal embryos. I agree that mentally it’s good to take a break (though depends a bit on your age. I’m turning 40 so I was like back to back retrievals to bank embryos while I can). When you’re ready, talk to your RE about tweaking the protocol, research other clinics and labs (the lab does make a difference).
Conversation Starter
This is helpful, thank you. We only have $30k of insurance coverage (if we add my husband, it doubles to $60k but we have to wait for open enrollment to change). Husband is interviewing with Google now, which would give a $75k benefit. Might wait a month and see how that shakes out. We could afford it, but husband is cheap.
Sorry about the outcome but don’t give up. I have had 3 IVF transfers. All 3 were chemical pregnancies. I did an ERA last month and I’m preparing for my next transfer in May. Stay hopeful 🙏🏽
I was pre receptive
Thank you all for your support and encouragement. Means a lot to us