Due to the nature of me moving a lot and battling with depression when I was growing up, I’ve never had a ‘group’ of friends, rather 4 incredible friends who I each have one on one friendships with...

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The only advice I can offer is to be honest about the above.

If these people are your friends, they genuinely care about your mental health and will be open to working with you to find a solution that works—maybe 2 of the 4 are ready for a group hang and the other 2 need more time to work up to it, but at least you can start setting an occasional group hang out as a goal for you.

I’d also try frame things around what you need/are feeling rather than what they’re not doing—prevents people from defaulting defensive posture

Good Luck!

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...I’m very close with all of them and are truly blessed to have support and love in my life. They know of each other, but most of them have never met (even though these are 7-10 year friendships). Reason being is three of them have quite severe social anxiety and they really don’t like going out/meeting new people. It’s always been quite difficult ‘juggling’ as such (not in a bad way, just trying to explain how it feels), but I’ve normally had time...that was until I became a consultant. Being away from home Mon-Thurs leaves minimal time for me, family and friends. They all support my career decisions and understand why I’m not around as much, however it is really difficult to see them, support them, and they support me when I have what feels like zero time. I’ve tried hinting to them a few times about having nights in at mine so I can see them all, but they’re really not up for it. It’s quite upsetting. They’re all lovely people, and I understand anxiety can be debilitating to some, but when I explain myself they just seem not to care about how this is getting me down, just that their anxiety is ‘too much’ to meet my friends? But yet they can meet new people in their own times at work, weddings, family parties etc. Just now that I’m asking for a bit of a change so I can still see everyone it’s like the world is ending and I’m ‘causing them anxiety just talking about it’, it’s really getting me down :( My birthday is in the new year and I’d really, really love to have an adult ladies sleeper over with cocktails and pizza etc. As I know if I suggested a night out the answer would be a straight no from all of them. Im trying to accommodate, but I’ve had one of my friends this evening go a bit weird with me saying I’m trying to guilt trip her into something and she’d rather see me on my own. Again I’ve explained if I could continue doing that I would, but it means I’d rarely see her... Im feeling really low, unsupported and lonely at the moment. Just that my support network don’t want to make the effort to try and accommodate for me as I have for them for years. I’m so stressed at work and just want to have my girls by my side. Does anyone have any advice for this? I’m truly lost :( Thank you.

You should put your wellbeing first, whether that means get new friends, be more stern with these friends, whatever. But your friends sound quite immature. It also doesn't seem as though your friendship is two-way. Seems as though it's either on their terms or it's not happening. That's not fair to you. It's your life. Do what is best for you.

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