Dumbest thing you did as a new hire. 1, 2, 3, go...

I started my career in audit. One of my first assignments was an inventory count for a paper company that owned acres and acres of forests.

Well, you “count” that by existing estimates for how many trees there in a small size plot and just extend it to the plot size.

On my first day, the team drove me to the forest, put a bright orange “do not mistake me for a deer” vest on me, mumbled something about hunting season being close but I should be fine in the daylight, gave me a can of spray paint and sent me off marching to count trees. Went on for about 15 mins. When I finally figure out it made no sense and turned around, they were all on the ground dying of laughter.

I have been trying to get back at them for the duration of my career; never could top that.

E-mailed my EM saying I’m hesitant to travel because the flight tickets were $2k for my first week. He told me to give him a call and repeat what I e-mailed him. Of course there were 2 partners, an AP and 3 other colleagues in the room with the phone on speaker They had a hearty laugh.
I came from industry where $500 was too much for domestic air fare. Still cringe at some of those travel expenses 🙄

1) Didn’t know how to print
2) Scheduled meetings at 3am due to carelessness
3) Falling asleep in client meetings from food coma

Paid my corporate card with personal funds because I was scared of accruing interest before the firm paid the bill.

I didn’t sign up for any loyalty programs hotel or flight my first year 😖

Asked an older looking CLIENT if the baby picture on her desk was her grandbaby. I found out later through the admins that her previous job was at EY, and she moved to industry after having the baby. A couple of lessons learned. Don't let these big 4 firms steal your youth and make you look 60 when you're 40. And don't make specific relationship comments about kids; just say cute baby.

I once re-introduced myself to my client after he grew a beard over Christmas break.

Missed flight to work and took 6-hr uber there

I misspelt and put “KPGM” in my signature block. I didn’t notice and no one else did or told me until about two years when I finally noticed. I still laugh about it and smh....

Was charging one hour less per day than I should have been. For the whole first year at the firm.

Accidentally walked into the men’s restroom on my first day. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Criticized senior leadership instead of keeping my mouth shut

Got too drunk and shit my pants

Fell asleep in a meeting in front of a partner who would eventually become the global CEO. Like full head bob falling asleep because I’d been taking redeyes every week and staying up crazy hours to finish the work

Turned down the very first project offered to me. I had to personally answer to 3 senior folks. Thought I was done for it.

In hindsight, it worked out for the best since I love where I eventually ended up.

I left my computer at the bar after a happy hour. My then manager (now practice lead) grabbed it for me but gave me sooo much shit about it. She still taunts me about it come distribution time

Never remembered to attach the files to the emails 🤦‍♀️

Kept my mouth shut when I wasn’t enjoying the work and realised it didn’t align with my career goals because I was too afraid to piss people off. Wasted 6 months that way. Then was told by partner that I should’ve spoken up earlier and he wouldn’t have minded Learnt a lesson for life

Hooked up with someone more senior after the holiday party 🤦‍♀️

Tried really hard to get a great end or year review only to end up getting peanuts for a raise and bonus