Ended a 2 year friendship because she posted “I love you” on my social a few times and girlfriend got upset. I know she didn’t mean it romantically but this is still difficult for me

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Sounds like you may have dumped the wrong girl pal

likesmartfunny

I don’t think so, but I still feel bad

likefunny

Sounds pretty controlling/maipulative of the GF to essentially force you to end a friendship.

Your person should be happy that there are people in your life who love you, not upset about it. This sounds like an issue GF needs to sort through, not something that you should have to lose friends over.

likehelpful

Sorry to hear about the divorce. Will keep this in mind and see if this becomes a pattern

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This is sad. Why couldn’t you convince your girlfriend, and why couldn’t she be a little more mature?

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Y’all definitely deserve each other, I feel bad for the woman that thought she was your friend.

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uplifting

Do you think you ended the wrong relationship?

likehelpful

No, but I never thought I would be in this position

likefunny

If you asked her to stop and she still didn't, she's no good. I have guy friends that are married or have gfs, there's a certain understood courtesy of how to behave. I would never do something that I think their significant other would be upset about. You want everyone to feel comfortable.

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P1 - exactly. In all relationships/friendships there should be respect of boundaries. OP already told the friend to stop, but the friend didn’t care. There’s a level of interaction that shows your friend respects you and your SO. I have male friends that are married & have SOs, there has never been an issue because of this mutual respect.

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Are you sure she didn’t mean it romantically?

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Right. So I’ve eliminated the possibility altogether

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🙄 OP i think you were too rash but whatever your life

likehelpful

Agreed. Poor friend! They deserve better

OP, keep up the friendship. Actually use this discussion to talk about what “love” is, and what the friend meant. The Greeks had multiple words for “love” because the word is used so broadly. “I love ice cream” is different than a romantic couple expressing their “love” for one another. My guess is your female friend meant something more akin to “philia,” whereas your GF loves you more in the context or “eros.”

I wish people could learn the difference, and that positive, platonic, opposite sex friendships are both important and desirable - over the long-term.

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I’ve already made the decision. I thought about all the ways I could explain myself, and none made me seem like I was covering something up

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I guess I should never have friends then. Makes me sad when people are not confident in the relationship and little things like that make them mad. I tell my friends (guy/girl) ALL the time I love them because I do. Not in a manner of an intimate relationship. Hell I randomly text my friends that I love them and miss them because I do. I never want to leave this earth with someone I care about wondering what they meant to me. If your friends don't love you are they really your friends or someone you just know?

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@ associate 2 I get your point. To be honest and maybe I am wrong but I would just pull away from the friendship all together. I am to old to be walking on eggshells trying to remember not to be my natural self. I will fuck up and not remember because its a part of me. Thankfully no one has ever had a problem with me telling them I love them

Yeah that's not okay. Your partner sounds like they have trust issues and control issues.

You should assert yourself with your partner and make it clear that you're allowed to have friends outside the relationship. It's still your job to comfort her and reassure her that you're not being unfaithful, but it's abusive of her to demand that you drop friends because she's insecure.

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I’m definitely frustrated but not all decisions are easy

So if a male friend said it to you would it have been ok?

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It would be odd, haven’t considered that scenario

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