{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Ever reflect on the exact time in your life you knew you did not want kids, and the triggering event or circumstance? In my case I just never had a maternal urge at all.", "post_id": "60fa15ab6add6d001cdb522c", "reply_count": 19, "vote_count": 11, "bowl_id": "5f20b8519110d60021d539ab", "bowl_name": "Childfree Lifestyle" }

Ever reflect on the exact time in your life you knew you did not want kids, and the triggering event or circumstance? In my case I just never had a maternal urge at all.

likeupliftinghelpful
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Yeah honestly I feel like I never had a maternal instinct towards human babies either. And the more I’ve seen people fixate on them and the idea of procreating, the less appealing it becomes. Now in the days of social media people also seem to use babies as a prop for attention.

likefunny

Same! I NEVER played with dolls—couldn’t even fake an interest when other girls insisted on playing “house.” Never felt emotions around babies. I love puppies though, haha!

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+1

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Never ever felt maternal instinct. I could have told you at age ten that I would never have children and have never wavered on that conviction.

likeuplifting

Yup - 3rd year physiology lecture. Saw what pregnancy does to your body. Forget about childbirth. You’re basically the host of a parasite feasting on your body. I guess the lack of maternal drive may have played a role in there somewhere as well, idk

likefunny

I knew I didn’t want kids since I was a kid myself. Ur always annoyed me when people said “but you’re a kid”. I’m sorry, do murderers necessarily like other murderers? Also, I was very aware from young of the difficulties of child rearing. My cousin had autism, it wasn’t even a particularly severe a case but it made my aunt kinda lose her mind, her job, and cause her marriage to break down. I just knew I wouldn’t b able to cope with something like that. Also, even if I was guaranteed a perfectly healthy and well adjusted kid (which, knowing myself is damn near impossible) there’s still a mixture of not generally finding kids annoying, dirty and loud + no maternal feelings + a bit of commitment phobia, and having a kid is the ultimate commitment + concern about what pregnancy will do to my body.

likeuplifting

Came from a low income family. With both parents working a lot (can’t blame them) I had to step up as an impromptu parent for my younger siblings. I love them and would do it again if I had to but growing up like that and then going to college and realizing during my senior year (so ~22) what I value most is self freedom and individualism, it became clear to me I don’t want children because for me I would see them directly conflicting with my deepest wants. Also I’m an anxious individual/over thinker. If I had kids I 100% would over worry and stress behind them from the moment they’re born to probably until I die.

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Same here. I love baby animals. I raise houseplants, some of which are 20+ years old. I like living things, just not little people. 🪴🪴🪴

likefunnyuplifting

Probably 30 when it became a conscious decision. Moved to the states at 20, was too busy for kids and relationships working full time and going to college, thinking kids and marriage are in my very distant future. Then was studying for cpa while working crazy hours, then finally got to have fun. By 30 i started thinking about it more when the distant future is not so distant, but also realizing my biological clock is broken, i lack maternal instincts, babies annoy me and they aren’t cute and pregnancy and labor can fuck your body up forever. And i most importantly just don’t want this never ending chaos, crying to surround me, i need 8 hrs of sleep. Now at 33 I’m pretty certain i won’t have any of my own. Maybe adopting an older child is in the books in the future. Maybe if i was in a long stable relationship I’d approach this differently

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For a me, I don’t think there was a moment of catharsis. I was always ambivalent about having kids and kept waiting for my biological clock to start ticking, but it never did. I don’t like babies - stinky, drooling, crying human larvae. I’m a good, indulgent auntie and like children in limited doses once they walk & talk. My husband was kind of the same. Now, I’m too old but I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. I have to endure my friends blabbing on & on about their grandchildren! 😬

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My wife’s sister came to live with us for a year and part of the arrangement was that we had to take her 6 year old to school 3 days. It seems kinda silly but my realization was literally that this child cannot do anything themselves.. like how many times do I have to get your attention so you can finish putting socks on!? And it was a year of doing that which made me realize I don’t want that life.

likesmartfunny

You’re a saint for putting up with someone else’s kid for a year. I hope she really appreciated it. I have no doubt that scenario would have probably caused me to go from not having kids to definitely not having kids

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No maternal feelings for humans. I’m obsessed with animals but babies have always freaked me out. I really don’t care for babies in general.

likeuplifting

16. Took home one of those dolls that cries and you have to hold it and feed it and change it. From that moment on I was like NOPE. Anytime I wonder, I borrow my nieces and nephews for an afternoon, then I go home to peace and quiet and wine, and I’m like nahhhh I’m good 😂

likefunny

For me, I was the affair child and grew up low income. I resented men for a long time, but I've gotten over that and now my reasons are for self individualism/living my own life/taking things easy. It probably stems from seeing my mom struggle as a single parent, but I've met kids with both parents who still get messed up on some way.

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16, had a premonition I would die in childbirth. Makes me selfish eh?

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I was in preschool... I was scolded for playing with boy blocks and hot wheels race tracks instead of dolls... And the teacher was saying playing with dolls will teach you to be a good mommy and I said back very meanly why do I have to be a miserable mommy? I don't want to. All mommies yell cry and scream. I want to be COOL and wear a suit... Lolol....

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Meh my mom was overly strict old school Italian and obsessed with image and my friends mother's were melodramatic helicopter Disney mom Karen's. Didn't have the best examples even at that age I was the most mature in the room. My mom has softened and come to her senses in old age but the other mom's are still bonafide nut cases to this day. Like there's not enough prozac and Xanax in the world. Ohhh and I still don't want kids 😝

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