extremely frustrated. i currently work as manager for a consulting firm and am interviewing for a lateral role at a competitor. My boss called me last Friday asking me if i was interviewing with competitor because a friend of his that works at competitor asked him about me. My boss gave him good feedback and told him i am one of the best in the group but i am anxious. I have not received an offer so i find it extremely unprofessional and unnecessary for them to reach out to my boss. Thoughts?

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I would not be worried about your boss knowing you are/were looking if you stay. I would own it. I never hide the fact that I’m interviewing and if asked about it I will freely reply, “I am always interviewing. It’s not a reflection of my lack of satisfaction here, but a way to stay professionally sharp, hear from the market regarding valuable skills, and it gives me the confidence that I am here by choice every day because it’s the best fit for me”. As a manager I would openly encourage my reports to do the same.

I would never work for anyone who had a problem with this because 1. Companies look out for their own best interest and if someone can do the job better or cheaper than you can, or if it can be eliminated, they will do it. The company is perpetually “interviewing”. And 2. That boss that has a problem with it? They are interviewing too, guaranteed.

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I did own it, but imagine if my boss was not cool

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Yeah that’s whack

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Not cool at all

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Yeah that’s really weird.

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I agree this is uncool, but isn’t it kind of a known risk? It’s a small world especially in some areas of consulting work and you have to expect people to talk.

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I am just pissed at the person that told my boss….

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I know it’s frustrating but it also sounds like an overall positive experience. For instance, your boss didn’t have to call you to check in (if he had negative intentions he could’ve not told you anything), and he also mentioned you were one of the best in the group (which is a compliment). One way to look at it - I don’t think your boss was trying to hurt you but rather help you longer term. Also, there’s no conclusive evidence the new firm would’ve hired you if your boss didn’t mention the anxious piece.

I see this as an opportunity to develop more and that the stars weren’t aligned yet but will be. I’d chat with your manager about what he meant by “anxiety” to see how you can improve - and the right opportunity will come again soon enough. Best of luck

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Definitely unprofessional if they weren’t an official reference. It’s good that they had positive feedback for you. You may have some leverage - maybe you can make a counter offer or request a retention bonus out of this?

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Two sides to this.. both understandable. If, for instance, someone who wanted to work for me happened to work for my best friend, of course I would talk to him about it as he would have the best insight into the type of worker you are. You’re frustrated because you just so happened to be on the receiving end of that situation, which is understandable

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BCG1 - okay. I guess you are used to people believing you because your title is BCG.

Why do you think in all job applications they ask you if they can contact your current employer?

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Unprofessional. I’d be mad too

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I explained my boss the reason i was interviewing somewhere else and he was cool with it, he understood. I am just frustrated that they are playing with job and i have a family to feed.

I think i know who the person is

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To be fair, in this job climate, I don’t think anyones trying to lay a productive employee off, even if they know you’re looking.. but that’s just my opinion

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This happens alot more than many people realize. Has happened to me in the past, and resulted in a denial before I "found out" that the existing narcisstic controlling boss was the reason I failed the interview

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Not cool.

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Thanks for input, i have not received an offer but i still have not received a NO, i am just waiting for final decision

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If i get the job offer, i really dont mind but if i dont i think i will reach out to the company interviewing me and complain about the situation

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Ehh not sure that’s how you want to start off. You need to understand the Lu of the land before you start escalating. You don’t want to mess things up before you get there. Pick and choose your battles.

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It happens all the time. And sometimes, employees are not aware about it. You will be surprised you're rejected because they have already talked to your boss even before you are called for your second interview.

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Yeah I know. What I am trying to say is that, these kind of scenarios are so common that you'll be surprised.

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