It will inshaAllah and it will be beautiful bi ithnillah. ❤️ ❤ its not how early that counts. Especially seeing the rate of divorce ATM. IMO it's better it happens later than to be 30 and twice divorced.
I pray Al waajid by his mercy and the blessings of this month grant you a spouse that will treat you as it will be most pleasing to him and a union so beautiful that you'll forget the wait
Sis… I’m in a very similar situation. I was 34 by the time I felt ready to start to seriously pursue it. I’m now 37. Here is what has helped me: 1) It made me study Islam more because the cultural mindset around single women is toxic and I needed to dig into it and understand how am I supposed to frame this? It helped me build a closer relationship to Allah SWT and I found that I needed to internalize that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. Regret has no place in these matters and I don’t want to inadvertently be doubting Allah SWT and His wisdom. 2) The pangs of need, wanting kids etc are a challenge. I think of them as my test so I constantly have to police my thoughts to make sure I’m coming from a place of gratitude towards Allah SWT instead of cynicism or regret. 3) community & aunties are a challenge to deal with. It’s made going to the mosque an exercise in patience because I get cornered and interrogated about this topic. I practice smiling and politely tell them that I’m open to considering anyone they thought was good (or to talk to my mom). 4) when I make supplication, I ask Allah swt to grant me a husband in this dunya or akhira. I keep pursuing leads because it is a form of worship to do so, however I KNOW that what I’ll get is going to be the best thing so that’s always soothing to me. 5) I’ve continued to live my life as fully as possible and I don’t have it centered around this pursuit. I had to sit my parents down and explain that I can’t put certain things on hold, like traveling around the world alone etc. and that’s made my life richer. Alhamdulillah for that.
I ask Allah SWT to ease our hearts, grant us amazing spouses in this life or the next, elevate our states, make these challenges a source of closeness to Him and gather us all with our beloved Prophet SAWS in the highest levels of Jannah.
What worked for me was to widen my criteria. I opened myself up to men with a larger age range, non traditional career paths, out of state, etc. Not saying you should settle, but genuinely ask yourself what qualities are important to you and be flexible on the rest. Good luck sister 🤗
OP you are not alone. I agree with Apple here and also might be worth considering guys who didn’t grow up in the US but came here for college or grad school later in life
It will definitely work out, Insha’allah! I’m F and met my husband at 35 and got married at 36. He’s 7 years younger than me and more amazing than I could have ever wished for, Alhumdulilah!! Don’t give up hope and if you do, ask your family and friends to hope and pray for you.
Ha in the same boat, gave up hope after trying for years. These days I go to the masjid for iftar and taraweeh, just looking at other families/kids/couples makes me want to cry.
May Allah help you my sister, will Dua for you loads and remember Allah is the best of the planners- he has an incredible plan saved up for you. Best wishes my lovely sister 🌹
Every avenue is a way of meeting someone. Don’t think it’s weird meeting someone via Linked in or via Fishbowl. Having a conversation and talking to opposing genders may lead to marriage. It is always important to be very blunt and honest right from the beginning and let each other know what your looking for.
Divorce isn’t relatively a terrible thing as we make it out to seem. It’s better to try and fail (with a prenup lol) then not try at all. There’s people out there that lived two or three more lives than you have. We have a short time on this earth make the most of the time you have now.
This perspective you have about that you should have married younger is great for the younger people that are reading this and you may be helping them if they are on the fence about it, as inshallah it is much better to get married at a younger age (as it is better to divorce than live in sin).
Our personal lives are more important than our careers.
These are all my opinions, if you disagree that is fine. I’m not on here to start a debate inshallah. Lol may Allah swt find you complimentary spouses and Children that are the coolness of your eyes.
I’m hoping that Allah SWT makes it easier for you and inshallah finds a great complimentary spouse. My sister had gotten divorced and the process to get it was extremely long as the guy disappeared. She got remarried to a great guy at the age of 34 or 35. InShallah there is hope. I think it’s easier in our community then without it.
Side note: everything I said was more generalized and not geared towards you specifically.
I have this argument with our generation every god damn day. I am one of the few that is able to admit my own faults and errors, and because others cannot so they lie to themselves bc we have been brainwashed to always thinking we are right.
Our generation got manipulated, brainwashed, to spend more time and money on helping white men get rich. This is a fact. Your life is short.
We need to promote education alongside marriage. Yes I understand it was difficult before but now it is not, there’s enough second gens. So what if it ends in divorce? Right now either way the statistics don’t look good. Wouldn’t that be more stable then having to sleep around?
I may die before I see my grandchildren. I see my dad living his retired life taking out three of his grandchildren around for a ride just because that gives him the most joy he ever had in his life. Most of us will never get to feel that joy and it saddens me for our community.
Get your kids married early, continue there education, if they get divorced, get remarried. I can bet with this mindset the statistics of divorce rate will be lower.
I’m sorry if I went on a tangent but we need to focus on what we have control over today
Easier said than done. I’m a guy and I’m terrified of getting married the first time let alone get divorced and remarried. The amount of husbands I’ve seen get financially ruined after a divorce on top of women who seem to think they’re the best thing since sliced bread puts me off even the first marriage. People have done the whole early marriage thing before, it didn’t work.
For this whole “crisis” to resolve, expectations on either end have to get evened out. We need to repair the road, not take detour.
Hi Deloitte fish! I have an interview coming up for a Data Analyst position within GPS. Looking for any advice regarding case interview prep and practice cases. Specifically wondering whether technical questions are generally asked? Thank you!
It will inshaAllah and it will be beautiful bi ithnillah. ❤️ ❤ its not how early that counts. Especially seeing the rate of divorce ATM. IMO it's better it happens later than to be 30 and twice divorced.
I pray Al waajid by his mercy and the blessings of this month grant you a spouse that will treat you as it will be most pleasing to him and a union so beautiful that you'll forget the wait
Stop lying to yourself. It’s better to be divorced twice then live in sin.
Sis… I’m in a very similar situation. I was 34 by the time I felt ready to start to seriously pursue it. I’m now 37. Here is what has helped me:
1) It made me study Islam more because the cultural mindset around single women is toxic and I needed to dig into it and understand how am I supposed to frame this? It helped me build a closer relationship to Allah SWT and I found that I needed to internalize that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. Regret has no place in these matters and I don’t want to inadvertently be doubting Allah SWT and His wisdom.
2) The pangs of need, wanting kids etc are a challenge. I think of them as my test so I constantly have to police my thoughts to make sure I’m coming from a place of gratitude towards Allah SWT instead of cynicism or regret.
3) community & aunties are a challenge to deal with. It’s made going to the mosque an exercise in patience because I get cornered and interrogated about this topic. I practice smiling and politely tell them that I’m open to considering anyone they thought was good (or to talk to my mom).
4) when I make supplication, I ask Allah swt to grant me a husband in this dunya or akhira. I keep pursuing leads because it is a form of worship to do so, however I KNOW that what I’ll get is going to be the best thing so that’s always soothing to me.
5) I’ve continued to live my life as fully as possible and I don’t have it centered around this pursuit. I had to sit my parents down and explain that I can’t put certain things on hold, like traveling around the world alone etc. and that’s made my life richer. Alhamdulillah for that.
I ask Allah SWT to ease our hearts, grant us amazing spouses in this life or the next, elevate our states, make these challenges a source of closeness to Him and gather us all with our beloved Prophet SAWS in the highest levels of Jannah.
Ameen
All of us single M/F feel you! You're not alone and iA it'll happen. Chin up!
Ameen. Jazakallah khair All. IA may we singles find our spouses soon, came across this. Our delays are good 🙏
What worked for me was to widen my criteria. I opened myself up to men with a larger age range, non traditional career paths, out of state, etc. Not saying you should settle, but genuinely ask yourself what qualities are important to you and be flexible on the rest. Good luck sister 🤗
Rising Star
OP you are not alone. I agree with Apple here and also might be worth considering guys who didn’t grow up in the US but came here for college or grad school later in life
It will definitely work out, Insha’allah! I’m F and met my husband at 35 and got married at 36. He’s 7 years younger than me and more amazing than I could have ever wished for, Alhumdulilah!! Don’t give up hope and if you do, ask your family and friends to hope and pray for you.
Inshallah, all will work out and just trust Allah SWT.
Pray for a great pious spouse instead of marriage.
Pro
Ha in the same boat, gave up hope after trying for years. These days I go to the masjid for iftar and taraweeh, just looking at other families/kids/couples makes me want to cry.
Community Builder
KPMG 2: Wallahi getting the same thoughts!!!
May Allah grant us the best spouses.
May Allah ease our difficulties.
Ameen 🥺🤲🏻
May Allah help you my sister, will Dua for you loads and remember Allah is the best of the planners- he has an incredible plan saved up for you. Best wishes my lovely sister 🌹
Community Builder
P1: Could you please make dua for everyone who is looking to get married.
It will happen! You're not as alone as you feel.
Community Builder
OP- I’m also in the same boat!
InnshaAllah we will find our spouses soon.
Please keep all the singles (who wants too marry) in your prayers.
May Allah make it easy for us.
Ameen 💕
In the same boat :(
Every avenue is a way of meeting someone. Don’t think it’s weird meeting someone via Linked in or via Fishbowl. Having a conversation and talking to opposing genders may lead to marriage. It is always important to be very blunt and honest right from the beginning and let each other know what your looking for.
Divorce isn’t relatively a terrible thing as we make it out to seem. It’s better to try and fail (with a prenup lol) then not try at all. There’s people out there that lived two or three more lives than you have. We have a short time on this earth make the most of the time you have now.
This perspective you have about that you should have married younger is great for the younger people that are reading this and you may be helping them if they are on the fence about it, as inshallah it is much better to get married at a younger age (as it is better to divorce than live in sin).
Our personal lives are more important than our careers.
These are all my opinions, if you disagree that is fine. I’m not on here to start a debate inshallah. Lol may Allah swt find you complimentary spouses and Children that are the coolness of your eyes.
I’m hoping that Allah SWT makes it easier for you and inshallah finds a great complimentary spouse. My sister had gotten divorced and the process to get it was extremely long as the guy disappeared. She got remarried to a great guy at the age of 34 or 35. InShallah there is hope. I think it’s easier in our community then without it.
Side note: everything I said was more generalized and not geared towards you specifically.
Good things happen to those who wait ❤️ trust Him!
Sharing this very powerful Dua with y’all. May Allah make it easy for you all iA!
Started lookin when i was 30...36 now...very few serious girls left, the majority are just validation addicts
Chief
Go watch a cooking or baking show! Ramsey’s yelling does it for me - my appetite crawls back!
Rising Star
So are you with him still?
I have this argument with our generation every god damn day. I am one of the few that is able to admit my own faults and errors, and because others cannot so they lie to themselves bc we have been brainwashed to always thinking we are right.
Our generation got manipulated, brainwashed, to spend more time and money on helping white men get rich. This is a fact. Your life is short.
We need to promote education alongside marriage. Yes I understand it was difficult before but now it is not, there’s enough second gens. So what if it ends in divorce? Right now either way the statistics don’t look good. Wouldn’t that be more stable then having to sleep around?
I may die before I see my grandchildren. I see my dad living his retired life taking out three of his grandchildren around for a ride just because that gives him the most joy he ever had in his life. Most of us will never get to feel that joy and it saddens me for our community.
Get your kids married early, continue there education, if they get divorced, get remarried. I can bet with this mindset the statistics of divorce rate will be lower.
I’m sorry if I went on a tangent but we need to focus on what we have control over today
Rising Star
Easier said than done. I’m a guy and I’m terrified of getting married the first time let alone get divorced and remarried. The amount of husbands I’ve seen get financially ruined after a divorce on top of women who seem to think they’re the best thing since sliced bread puts me off even the first marriage. People have done the whole early marriage thing before, it didn’t work.
For this whole “crisis” to resolve, expectations on either end have to get evened out. We need to repair the road, not take detour.