Fam need advice.. I’m struggling in my rl lately. My gf and I met virtually on social media and have been together for almost a year. Things are great normally, but whenever there comes a bit spark of argument, my gf just turned into someone else, very emotional every time, keeping this it’s all your fault attitude… She tends to go to extremes and often times went too much, e.g., she bent (hurts a lot atm but fingers ok) my fingers as part of couple fun fights (it started with her pinching me)…

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I’m going to keep it real with you, you need to get out of this relationship before you’re in even deeper. Stay strong!

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Yeah...she's physically abusing you. That's NOT ok. I'd get out friend.

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If you’re not US based, look up the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial online. You’ll get a snapshot of what you can look forward to if you stick around in this relationship.

Alternatively, you could just end things. Immediately and without looking back. Then, do some reflection on why you tolerated this behavior to begin with, and fix that.

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Physically harming you is major issue. File a police report, get a restraining order and leave the relationship. Getting emotional is no excuse.

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G1...having a paper trail is a good thing if things come up later. It sounds petty but if you're experiencing abuse things are very stacked against you legally. Especially if counter claims get made.

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This is not going to get better with time. She is abusing you and you should get out before things get worse.

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When things are good, most of us are decent people, a person’s true character is shown when things are bad. She is telling you who she is, believe her.

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OP—consider therapy, I am not saying this in judgement…but as someone who grew up in a household without healthy models of love, I fought hard to stay in terrible relationships. I got therapy, and worked harder at loving myself and feeling worthy of real love. Not chaos masquerading as love. You need to learn your self worth and explore why it feels so satisfying to hold onto someone who is bad for you. But, you can’t do that while tethered to this anchor. Cut her loose, cease all contact, rebuild yourself, and then you will attract a partner who isn’t interested bc they can see prey in you.

I’m happily married to someone who i know loves me in the way I‘be never dared dream possible, and yes—I still go to therapy so that I don’t become a reflection of my parents. Sometimes we seek it, sometimes we become it—but it doesn’t have to be that if you work on yourself.

Best of luck to you, I do hope you find your self worth.

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Nothing comes for free in this world, it all depends on how much you put up with and do you feel if she is worth it and do you have any emotional connection apart from just liking her.
If your answer is negative for any of the questions then you should drop it altogether and lead a peaceful life!

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End it.

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You should definitely end it but after also do some healing work on defining boundaries and potentially other inner work and hence not experiencing this in future relationships.

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I would say go to couples therapy and if she’s unwilling or doesn’t take it seriously end it

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(Cont) I like her and don’t want things like these define/determine our relationships… but things have cumulated to a point lately that I just wanted to end it… I pay for most of everything in our relationship, plan for surprise/vacations, etc.. (I earned much more than her, so just let the financial side of things flow naturally). I feel like she has been taking things for granted… Our rl now is in chaos.. I’m struggling to think straight whether I should try to save it, or just cut it clean…

Show her the door...you don't need this psychopath

Thanks all. I’m making one last effort… in these arguments/unpleasant times, I did my part of damage as well (never physical, but verbally I’d say something out of emotion, no cursing but I’d regret)… if we just could not get on the same page, I won’t force the relationship… thank you all for the replies and advice!

What does getting on the same page here look like? It sounds like your expectations here are unrealistic...

When she bent your fingers, we’re you putting them in her face?

No, pretending to pinch her back, and she just grabbed my fingers

You’ve got your own Amber Heard. Dip immediately.

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