Family member saw me working out hard and called me a "retard" for pushing myself being at max speed and "making faces". Seriously? When you push hard, it's supposed to be - hard. No?

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Your family member called you a retard? Your family clearly has bigger issues with respect.

likesmart

Just sounds like an ignorant underexposed douchebag to me. Why do you even listen to his bullshit

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(This is my mother). I try to remind myself that she's ill (mentally: parathyroid issues, depression/anxiety and aging). She's also not of the fit mentality anyway. I try to count to 10 and remind myself that one day she won't be here, and that I need to just count to 10 when she says hurtful things like this

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Sounds like your family member doesn't have grit and is likely out of shape? 🤷‍♂️

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As well as being a Neanderthal fuckwit

smartfunny

@M1, you're right. Ive been counting to 10 before saying anything mean back. I consider the source and rationalize that she's sick. Like you, I remind myself one day she wont be here, so try not to be petty. Theres more positive than negative so trying to focus on that.

Sorry to hear about your family. Sounds like moving away was best. Sometimes the distance actually helps. Wish you all the best!

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It’s important to see the comment for what it is - somewhat toxic and unhelpful. Try not to judge the motivation behind it - that’s the part that screws with relationships and leaves us guessing on what others are thinking Never assume malice when ignorance will do. She may be confused, or ill, or unfamiliar with that level of effort, but that’s ok. You may be the example she needs to build some healthy habits herself. Keep pushing yourself hard and stay out of that comfort zone - nothing grows there. Keep counting to 10 and keep working. I’m impressed that you’re pushing yourself to build new habits - that’s never easy to do!

helpful

Yes - out of shape definitely. Diabetic, but has at least been giving it the good old college try. Better late than never i guess. Doesnt justify the mean comments though

OP - I don’t think anyone intended on the mean comments, especially if they had known it was your mother who is undergoing difficult times.

That being said, you asked us a question and we answered. I think you’re handling it well, but eventually you’re going to have to ignore what people say to you. What you think and know matters the most. If you work out hard, and believe this is what you should be doing, then keep at it.

Family is important, but unfortunately for me my entire family gave me too much toxicity and I had to move away because they were doing more harm than good (ie calling me dumb, stupid, slow). I know one day my family (or I) will not be here to reconcile our differences or resolve our issues, but it is what it is.

People cope in different ways, do what’s best for you, because you is all that matters.

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