Feeling a bit down today. Yet another friend just told me she is pregnant — not a complete surprise, I suspected when I saw her on a prior socially-distanced outing. But still frustrated at myself. I’ve had multiple egg retrievals and have already had two cancelled transfers due to issues with my lining each time. Just feels like everyone around me is getting pregnant while for me, it’s still issue after issue popping up. Also reminded of the fact that I had a miscarriage a year ago this time.

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Hugs and baby dust to you, OP.

I currently have 5 friends pregnant and due in the next 6 months, I can't catch a break from all the reminders and it's so hard not to be jealous. I try to remind myself that it's not a race, and that my journey has beauty and strength in it too, and I try to stay optimistic that my time will come (maybe when I least expect it). It is hard work, feel like I need to say these things to myself to override my pained heart 💔

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I can totally relate to this. Last year there were 3 people on my team who had babies. It was a runnings joke as to who would be the next one to have a baby. Everyone would always point at me because I was the only one married for a while and without a baby. It was very frustrating to laugh at the jokes when you are dealing with constant disappoinment. I finally told a colleague about the issues I was having and the joking finally stopped.

I also told my Manager some time back that I was undergoing treatment since I figured if I just said Doctor's appointment everyone would just assume I was pregnant (especially since we are all home now). She actually surprised me and told me that she herself had a number of miscarriages and eventually had her 2 daughters through IVF. Honestly, I felt a relief when she told me that. She also told me how common this was and that when she was going through it, she knew a number of women from work who went to the same clinic as her. This is tough but I think it kind of gets tougher since very few people talk about it.

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Definitely agree with A1 and AD1 people don’t share their struggles which is incredibly isolating for others because you go around thinking you’re alone. OP infertility truly sucks, and it’s 100% ok to feel jealous that other people are getting what you want so terrible with much less work. I had a number of friends get pregnant by accident while I was struggling and it was awful. I also really resented women who I had shared my struggles with who waited the 12 weeks to tell me because I felt lied to. All of your feelings are totally valid. Just know that there is a bright side to this storm. You will make it to mama!

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Totally get it. I have PCOS and am experiencing some similar struggles. You’re not alone in having these thoughts! I agree with Manager 1. I also try to remind myself it’s not a race and my day will come. People also do not tend to share the struggles they are facing on social media and focus only on the bragworthy updates so important to keep in mind that your pregnant friends may have also faced their own struggles whether pregnancy related or otherwise. Taking a break from social media helps so the updates are not constantly in your face and you can focus more on one-to-one communication with your friends. On the bright side, you’ll have friends who can share their advice and experiences with you when your time comes! I also tell myself that a lot of the extra time and freedom (and sleep) I have right now will go away when having a baby so I try to take advantage of those things and soak that up while I can. Stay positive and wishing you the best on your journey!

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Thank you all for your support! Had to just take a couple of days to process...I actually saw three more baby announcements the same day my friend told me about hers, though I found I felt differently about them vs. the friend who told me. I think SA1’s comment about feeling lied to was the best way to put into words how I feel. It was the fact that, over the past few months, this friend would ask me how my journey was going, and I knew she planned to start trying at the beginning of this year, so I would also ask about her. Now looking back on it, it feels like she was lying / seems obvious that she was avoiding giving me answers. I know not everyone feels comfortable sharing in the first trimester, but I guess it feels more like a “lie” because she waited until she was almost 20 weeks to tell me, even though I’ve been open with sharing all the ups and downs of my journey with her. On the flip side, it must also be awkward for her, so I get it, but can’t help feeling a little upset at her. The same thing happened to me back in January with another friend, and I was so hurt that I’ve basically avoided her through her entire pregnancy... I wish I could bring myself to be unconditionally happy for them, but it’s so just hard to not feel the way I feel. 😔

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OP feel your feelings. It’s absolutely ok to feel somewhat betrayed. You were open and vulnerable with someone you felt you were close enough to to open up to like that and they just proved to you that they either don’t feel the same way or couldn’t get over feeling awkward enough to be considerate of your feelings.
Had they waited the 20 weeks then come to you and said “hey, I know this is going to be difficult news but we’re very excited... blah blah blah... I didn’t want to tell you earlier just in case something happened because I know you’re going through a lot and I didn’t want to add anything I was going through onto your plate when I know this is something you’ve been struggling with and working hard at.. etc.” would that have made a difference? If yes, I think you just learned a little more about your friendship

For me there was a huge difference in how I felt about a friend who did what your friend did vs a friend who sat me down and talked to me like a person and was vulnerable. I’m still very close to the second couple and have some distain for the first couple.

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