Feeling conflicted about a potential move to Silicon Valley from Philadelphia for a job. I have a great community and support system here - I’m afraid I will be very lonely. How do you cope with fear of not having any friends near you ?

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Lol, lived in 8 different countries (not even counting changing cities including Philly), every time starting a new chapter. It may seem scary at first but it’s exciting - you’re gonna meet new people, make new friends and learn something new :)

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Depends a lot on the job. If it's a consulting-type job, where you are kind of a transitory nomad, it can be tough to make friends. If it's a tech job, where you'll (eventually) be going into an office or campus each day, you will make friends by osmosis at your company. I moved to SV from Boston earlier in my career and knew no one. I spent a few years there and then moved back east. I still have good friends from my time in the Bay area. So I would not be worried about it.

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^^^^ addendum: should read "would not be worried about it, if you are joining a tech firm".

Leaving Philly is hard — it’s a small town community with the perks of a big city. My advice is that it will always be there to come back to. You grow only when you’re uncomfortable — take the risk, try new things, expand your horizons. You won’t regret it.

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Was in a similar boat. Moved from the Northeast to TX for an opportunity around 5 years ago. I definitely have missed the city and my friends (besides 2020 still go back for a couple weekends a year plus some clients) but my own personal career progression and finances have been far better than if I stayed. I am now going to be moving back in 2021. Have kept most friendships there intact and now being debt free with tons of savings and a way higher income, will be able to have a quality of life I couldn’t have imagined. I’ve made some friendships here but it’s definitely more effort and generally at a more superficial level but that’s often the case as we get older. Things change over time and some of my core friend group in the Northeast have also left the area for opportunities but your real friendships will survive the distance. If anything some will want to come for a visit in February to escape the snow. And putting together a friend group trip every couple years is also a lot of fun.

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Only move if the money(50+% more than your current pay)/opportunity is too good to turn down.
Family/friends/support system all play into your WLB, and its extremely hard or nearly impossible to replicate in a foreign land.

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Hi OP, I also moved from Philadelphia to the left coast for the role I have now.

I grew up in the Philadelphia area as well so familar with the area and general close knit/neighborhood culture in many parts of the region.

^ Seattle freeze is real

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I was born and raised in West Philadelphia and moved to California as a child. At first I really clashed with the moneyed California culture, but eventually I grew really close with a lot of the people there.

What made you move to the west coast — was a fight with a couple of neighborhood troublemakers the impetus by chance?

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