Feeling defeated. Anyone else ever feel when you have so many failed IVF or pregnancies in general, you start to feel doubtful if you still want kids? At the Donor Egg stage and now questioning everything and if I want kids. All this time I did and now all the sudden feel old, tired and worried it will take over my life. So confused!

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My wife and I will do surrogacy at some point in the next few years (she won’t be able to have kids, IVF is not likely to work). Not what we envisioned but we just accepted it. We’ll be old parents and may not ever see our grand kids but we’re just trying to stay focused and take it a day at a time, as cliche as that sounds.

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AP 1—it might work, but she’s in her mid-40s and the chance of success for each attempt are not as high as they’d be if she was younger. We’d also need to get other eggs each time.

We decided that it would be easier and likely more cost effective to just go the surrogacy route, when you think about it in terms of the expected value and probability of success.

If a success story would help you at this stage, my best friend went through IVF for about 10 years. At some point later on, she was told she couldn’t carry herself bc she had been diagnosed with an illness (like MS) that would make it dangerous for her.
They had exactly one embryo that was genetically viable from all those rounds and they implanted it into a surrogate.
They were both 42 years old when their daughter was born. She is almost 7 now, extremely intelligent, beautiful, and funny.
It took a lot to get there (surrogacy was extremely difficult too), but here she is and she’s amazing.

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I’m at this stage! I’ve had 5 rounds of IVF and decided a few months ago to move to donor egg stage. We went through the process and ended up with 5 top grade embryos. So after 1 round of this it resulted in a chemical pregnancy and so now I’ve been taking some time away from it all before we go on another round. Now I have the fear of going through it again and now questioning if I really want to put myself through the drugs and hormone treatment etc. it’s the first time I’ve felt myself in a long time which has made me question whether I want to go through with even having kids now. I’m so tired of it and it’s taken Over my life!

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Omg are you me?? :( just helps I'm not alone in this. Driving my husband crazy. Im about to have a transfer in 10 days and having all these doubts. I feel awful. I feel like what if I ate better and didnt eat chocolate and maybe my eggs would have been better. Just kicking myself for all my past decisions and dont know how to move forward.

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