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Pro
Anyone here have work crushes?
Enthusiast
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Conversation Starter
happy new years eve corporate america!
Conversation Starter
Lawyer up and make an example out of her. You have to protect your reputation, your career and your marriage.
As a man every thing is stacked against you watch your back, stay clean, stay out of trouble.
Pro
Her allegation all by itself is certainly jarring, but doesn't make a lot of sense absent other factors (which you have said are not present). In total, what she appears to be pushing for is a defensive retaliation claim against the employer, and you are caught in the crossfire.
HR already has all her emails and all your emails. Typically these unwanted flirtation cases have an email trail or texts. So hopefully you don't have text messages to her beyond the norm. Also make sure HR gets your phone record to match up in case she has manufactured incriminating texts. This happens.
Further she seems to be alleging that this unwanted flirtation is the root cause of her emotional decline that is causing her performance issues.
Rising Star
This is why men are reluctant to interact with women in situations that aren’t tightly controlled (think the Mike Pence rule). I hate it and believe that everyone should be treated similarly. But I understand dudes not wanting to take risks when they have so much more to lose.
Pro
This will probably be unpopular but EY3 someone touching your thigh is gross and unwanted, but not permanently scarring. On the other hand being falsely accused of touching a woman's thigh will likely end your career, marriage and any future prospects.
Men in situations like these do have a lot more to lose. I definitely am so much more careful around women than I am around other guys and don't see this changing any time soon. Quite frankly if there was a way to choose to work solely with other guys, I would take it.
Enthusiast
If it’s true that she’s doing this to save her job and not because she personally felt sexually harassed, I hope she gets blacklisted from every firm.
Sorry, false allegations make it harder for real allegations to be taken seriously.
Pro
For those who say we need to punish anyone without proof, just want to say:
Jussie Smollett
Johnny Depp/Amber Heard
… the allegation is I touched her. Though after she didn’t respond I withdrew
The incident is over an year old and happened with atleast 10-15 people around. No of whom have mentioned it so far.
she is bringing up now an year later. The timing is odd as she has been having performance issues and has been put on performance improvement plan.
Really demotivated because this person has reached out to me over the year asking for guidance, coaching - which I provided.
It’s been one of the most stressful time I have had at work and at home. Had to have a really difficult conversation with my wife. I immediately shared it with her.
Rising Star
@kpmg that’s her accusation not what actually occurred
Pro
Lawyer up and consider legal action against her
It's crazy how damaging all if this is.
Absolutely zero excuse for any kind of inappropriate behaviour.
I'll share something though... I'm a partner and hosted a team dinner. Number of people go iut afterwards, and later in the evening a senior manager supposedly touched an associate on the shoulder. She contacted HR the next day. No one else saw it, and I wasn't even there... ut she used my name as I hosted the earlier dinner
This is actually in my "file" and came up as part of a background check relating to a possible promotion within the organization more than 5 years later.
Point is that I've been tainted by the actions of others, and wasn't even present when the alleged event took place.
There is zero upside to engaging with anyone other then in the office and with the utmost professional manner
Yeah... after choosing to stay out with the group.
There just needs to be a balance here. Again, there is no excuse and should be zero toleration for one using their position to influence or pressure anyone around ANY kind of sexual behavior. It's also interesting how many people that I know met their spouse at the firm and how many have seriously dated for a long time. The impact of making accusations is so high - and again at times should be, but lives and careers are and have been impacted significantly as a result. It's so hard to appreciate the sometimes disproportionate impact and culture of guilty of the most egregious possible action straight out of the box, and even if "cleared" stays with the accused
Chief
As an HR attorney, I frequently see employees allege discrimination, harassment, or disability when they know they are close to being fired as a way to claim retaliation. While difficult, I would try to not take it too personally. She’s on a sinking ship and thinks taking someone down could save her. Unfortunately, she thought you were the best option.
It doesn’t sound like she will have much to go off of since you said it didn’t happen, so no one can corroborate her story. Also HR should see the very obvious timing of this and be suspicious of her story from the jump.
Rising Star
If you really didn’t touch her, as you say and the location where she alleges the act occurred was indeed surrounded by seniors, then my question is what’s there to worry about ? It seems like a pretty closed situation at this point. You’re saying it did not occur and you two were not alone—secluded anywhere, even in the shared space. Was there alcohol involved? Perhaps either you or her, or both may be uncertain of what happened due to the alcohol. Like maybe someone else did touch her and she’s possibly confusing them, with you or maybe you did touch her but didn’t intend for it to be sexual and don’t remember. There’s a lot of factors to weigh, maybe ask someone you trust about that night to start piecing it together. Also, if you feel you didn’t do anything, why tell your wife?
Rising Star
You’re guilty until proven innocent, sadly, in the court of public opinion + sexual harassment in general. Clearly OP has something to worry about when a colleague claims that she was harassed.
Hoping you pull through OP. Sorry this is happening.
Rising Star
Get a lawyer on retainer if it progresses. Otherwise, just know you have a lot of rights here as well. If you truly didn’t touch her and you somehow get fired for this, just know that you’ll make probably 5-10 years salary without needing to work again.
Pro
D3 it's almost impossible to overturn the burden of proof required to demonstrate that
Rising Star
What she say?
Enthusiast
Did you actually touch her?
No!
Plus From what she reported it was in the middle of a living room - on a couch- with people sitting everywhere around us. It’s impossible that I would do so and nobody including senior people from office would not notice it
Did you touch her
Pro
SM1 out of interest - what happened?
Pro
What kind of touch is she claiming? Like, where on her body, and for how long?
Ahh, I see. I wish I could provide you with some sound advice. But from reading other posts it sounds like you are doing all you can. Just be sure to leave that person alone till this ends. You don’t want them adding another allegation against you. I hope this blows over quickly for you
Pro
"though after she didn't respond, I withdrew" could you elaborate on that part?
First, let me say that I believe you and I'm sorry you are dealing with this stress.
Second, maybe she was subjected to some other form of unpleasant workplace behavior that's triggering this behavior? Try and have big empathy here and know that she might be dealing w personal issues, maybe even sexual assault from outside the office. Has there been a drop off in her performance to warrant the PIP?
Does she think you recommended the PIP? Or that you have retaliated against her in any way?
Enthusiast
OP, were you drunk or maybe had more to drink than you should have?
You stated, “I don’t remember any of this happening at all.” Is there any possibility some version of the story could have happened?
It did not happen & I did not touch her sounds a lot better than *I don’t remember*.
Enthusiast
Good luck OP
Pro
Even loving Reese's PB cups and knowing ad jingles might be too much...
https://www.boredpanda.com/guy-in-trouble-hr-old-commercial-jingle/?utm_source=com.google.android&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=organic