{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Feels like my heart is being squeezed! When I was dating this guy, he cancelled on 50% of the dates with me and didnt travel with me. But he’d go anywhere with his “platonic” F friend who he knew only", "post_id": "5e0b76592f2274002bd9a173", "reply_count": 20, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

Feels like my heart is being squeezed! When I was dating this guy, he cancelled on 50% of the dates with me and didnt travel with me. But he’d go anywhere with his “platonic” F friend who he knew only

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Out of sight, out of mind. Stop following him on social media. You can’t fully move on if you are still comparing your relationship to theirs.

likesmart

I’ve gone through this multiple times. It can feel so so gut wrenching and it makes you question why you weren’t ‘good enough’ or he wasn’t as interested in you as the old or new person. I definitely know I’m imperfect and I think constantly improving is one thing. BUT, what I really really really learned through all of it is that sometimes, it really isn’t you. Actually, I would say 90% of the time. Remember, how a person treats you IN a relationship, early on or even later on, is 100% their choice and a reflection of who and where they are in life/maturity. What you need to do now is work on moving on for real. Explain to your friends that you just don’t feel comfortable around him yet and seeing him/his new relationship isn’t helping. Or don’t say anything. But either way, you need to disconnect. I recommend also the Mend app. Was uber helpful in my recent post breakup trials. We weren’t official but I’d known him a long time (years) and we finally decided to date (he initiated it). At first he seemed so interested (some days), then whatever the rest of the time. Always canceled, never called, always texted though. But it just felt lop-sided and made me feel insecure. It was insignificant on the grand scale, but it just hurt a lot. So yes, feel your pain. But you’ve got this! And you’ve got to know - YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. It’s just going to take a mature, thoughtful and intelligent MAN to recognize it. May you have abundant joy in 2020!

likeupliftinghelpful

Thank you very much for your empathy and uplifting words. Good to hear what you’ve been through and how you are on the other side now.

Stop following him! Forget he exists. He wasn’t into you and that isn’t because of you. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out. Think about the dudes you’ve dated that were just meh. Would you want to travel internationally with any of them? No way. Be happy you didn’t spend time and $ investing more in a dead end relationship and trust that you will find your match. New year, new adventures!

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I should say that you don’t always know someone is right for you. It’s not like there’s a special formula or the opportunity exits for everyone. You find someone who is good enough to be with for the long term.

I did mute him and her. But we have a number of mutual friends, among whom are my closest friends. And I kept seeing it 😢

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I recommend unfriending / deleting him. And you may want to unfollow your mutual friends for awhile. When I broke up with an ex, I remained "friends" with the mutual friends that were more his friends than mine. So of course he was showing up in their important events (birthdays, anniversaries, trips, etc). It just wasn't worth it. If you're really friends with them, you won't need social media to stay connected and you won't miss much by taking a little break.

likesmart

Get your sweet ass on some dating apps and move on sister. I know it’s hurting, but you need a distraction to forget him. Water under the bridge. Also, I strongly feel they’re together or he is subconsciously attracted to her but doesn’t know it.

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Who he knew only 5 months prior of knowing me, so it’s not even that much longer of a time. We’ve broken up partly due to this and some of my insecurities back then were due to her. Since our breakup, they have gone on 6-7 trips together and even internationally! It sucks to compare my relationship with him versus her relationship with him. I’ve moved on since then but constantly see him making the kind of level of commitment to her that I’ve never experienced while dating him really HURTS 😢. If there is anything you think I can do to improve my personalities, my ability yo keep the fire in relationship, please let me know. That one was only 6 months

I would bet a large amount of money that they are dating. If they aren’t, they are fooling around or he has a crush on her. Ask any trusting male friend outside this circle and he would say the same. It’s not you. You sound like a really nice person. Also, don’t let opinions of others matter to you! Please do this and you will find so much more happiness in your life.

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