{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Female 🐠 that have divorced. Were you able to recover, especially financially? Looking back would you stick it out? I would primarily be supporting our child since I earn more. Just overwhelmed with the prospect of starting over/carrying everything on my own but the lure of peace/relief/happiness is intense.", "post_id": "5fb5339a4c28f300292a3726", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

Female 🐠 that have divorced. Were you able to recover, especially financially? Looking back would you stick it out? I would primarily be supporting our child since I earn more. Just overwhelmed with the prospect of starting over/carrying everything on my own but the lure of peace/relief/happiness is intense.

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Mentally it is worth it. I’m in the divorce process right now with a mentally and physically abusive man (angry and narcissist in the psych sense). I have two children and was scared to leave bc I thought it would be best for my children if I stayed but abuse continued and my children saw it all. My children have remained resilient with the separation and have a happier/less stressed mommy. Financial recovery in time will happen because you are a driven individual and will always be successful (don’t worry!!). It does hurt financially when you see how much lawyer fees are but don’t let that scare you. (Just expect your bank account to go to zero and you won’t feel as bad ...but what is money if you are miserable?) I’d rather feel free and happy.

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Same spot as you, sis. Staring divorce in the face and want it but things what you mentioned makes me worry and scared. ...

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On the other side is peace relief and happiness? Then you need to do this. There is no amount of money worth staying in a bad marriage. You deserve more. Your kids deserve a mom who gets to live her best life. If your son/daughter was in your position, what advice would you give them?

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It’s a long journey, but worth it. I was petrified when I separated from husband (who earned significantly more) that I’d end up penniless and unable to retire, but I’m learning to take it one day at a time. My savings were badly hit by having to start over on my own with nothing and paying for medical issues too, but I’m back on track now and focusing on building a secure financial future on my own. It’s not easy, but I feel confident being in control, making my own financial decisions and working towards a goal on my own terms. The happiness and peace of mind since ending an unhappy marriage has been worth it.

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Contemplating all of this now. To the above any amount of money in the world worth staying to be unhappy everyday? Absolutely not, and I have the perspective of being with a man worth $50m. But the psychological abuse, cheating and drug/alcohol abuse has made it easy for me to want to run. Focus on yourself, do what is best for you, only have one life to live.

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Male fish here - if I can be so bold: why? I think that’s key to your answer.

Childe support, you don't need a man to succeed in life

You and your child deserve better. You got this. Get a decent lawyer who has your best interests in mind. If you don’t have a lawyer, check the local bar association in your area. You can do this and the relief you feel will be worth it. ❤️

You still get child support regardless who earns the most. I had to start over ..... twice. Somehow I have recovered and done better for myself emotionally and financially and for my child. Would I had stuck it out - I did try. The time trying confirmed my decision. There is no right or wrong only what will bring you peace and eventually happiness. May sound cliche but what doesn’t kill will make you strong. My only suggestion is to make it work ( first ) so you have no regrets later.

I agree with kpmg3. Child support is based on who ends up becoming the custodial parent. If it’s you then you get the child support. If I were you I would start documenting everything (acts of family violence, the way your child interacts with your husband etc) and become conscious of how you act around your child (as I guarantee you if your anger or stress releases and you file for divorce your husband will reveal that as child neglect in discovery and build some kind of case against you to take your child from you). All of this will become evidence in your custody case. If you are in an abusive relationship (physical or psychological) please reach out to your local abuse hotline. Talk to a therapist too. It really helps with getting perspective and a becomes a safe place where you can grieve and recover.

Hi moms, I’m going through a contentious custody and divorce from an abusive relationship and wanted to see if anyone’s been through similar could talk and give me any advice.. feeling very lost.. thank you

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