Consulting

Female 🐟 who are married - curious why some go by “Ms.” rather than “Mrs.” - insights please? Genuine question.

likeupliftinghelpful
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I stopped going by Miss when I was about 16. I’ve been Ms. since then. Professionally I will be Ms forever because it’s not anyone’s business professionally what my marital status is. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your spouse or that you have a problem being a wife. It does mean that you are not required to give your employer, client, customer, etc a window into your personal life. It’s not easy for women in the work place. Employees aren’t legally allowed to say or ask certain things like if you’re going to have a baby any time soon but I know several women that struggled to climb the ranks as soon as they got married because their bosses assumed that their husband would become a priority over they career they would be taking maternity leave soon or that they wouldn’t come back after maternity leave because they would become stay at home moms. I don’t need those kinds of obstacles in the way of my career path. At work I need people to see me as an individual that can deliver, not as a woman with a uterus because it’s none of their business what I do with it.

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This not taking a last name is a concept that is applied by few women and will be accepted by very few men. Most folks believe in traditional methods and that will continue to be the social norms. The women who demand/refuse/rebel against the social norms seem to always have social conflict and issues with other folks, and will continue to be outliers. Also it seems that women who demand/refuse/rebel are the more dominant in their relationships, which means they are with weak men (or women) and is somehow deemed a "success" in the feminist world. Thank goodness you are the minority and most people will listen to be polite, but these ideas will be seen as unreasonable when you walk away. Of course, I could be just an ignorant, conservative, white male who wants to suppress all feminist expression and prevent growth in an unkind world... Then again, I could be very right.

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I go with Ms, as I haven't changed my maiden name. Also I don't like to be identified by my marital status!

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likefunnyupliftinghelpfulsmart
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I go my Mrs. because I'm married. Also, I'm not trying too hard to be seen as a "woke feminist".

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likefunnysmartuplifting
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I go by Ms., but that is probably because I am not 100% committed, otherwise would go by Mrs.

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likefunnyupliftingsmart
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I just go by Dr... 🤷🏼‍♀️

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likesmartfunnyuplifting
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Privacy issue- marital status isn’t business related.

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likesmartfunny
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I didn't realize cheating on your husband was chill in 2018 🤔. my bad, carry on.

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likefunnyhelpful
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Mrs. seems possessive in my mind, the guy doesn't change his prefix, so why should I change mine so the world knows I'm married and off the market?

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likefunny
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Too many women here are trying to hide something . It’s suspicious. I happily changed my name and use Mrs, I love my husband

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likefunnysmart
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M1: doesn’t seem odd at all - her logic is sound. I I haven’t changed my name, and my marriage is strong. My husband sees me as an equal partner and doesn’t feel compelled to push a societal norm that frankly seems outdated.

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likeuplifting
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In many countries women do not change their last name after marriage nor do they go by the last name of another person. I feel like this should be the norm. Why guys can’t be called “Mr. Wife Last Name”? Genuinely curious.

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Since when did "not wanting to announce to everyone I'm married" = "I'm open to cheating"??? M1 SMH.

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Lol BCG1.. Not all of us feel the need to announce to the world, and that is not the same as hiding.

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likefunny
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In my experience, Mrs leads to more dudes trying to hit that than Ms.

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likefunnyhelpful
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Mrs. is a social title, not a professional title. I expect Mrs. for social correspondence/bookings and Ms. for professional ones.

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likesmarthelpful
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Same as EY1. I feel like Ms is a more neutral prefix. I don't care to share my marital status in all those forms, nor is it any of their business. I have been using Ms since long before I was married.

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likefunny
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just a really, really odd argument for not wanting to go by mrs. unless you want dudes all up in there

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For dudes, do you feel the need to enter a professional setting and announce your marital status? No? Then shut up. Ms is fine because marital status is irrelevant. Not trying to cheat. The point is that it shouldn’t be an issue at all

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I go by Ms because I didn’t change my name when I got married so it would feel weird to be Mrs Maiden Name

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likefunny
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How is it that well educated consultants don't understand the difference between need for privacy/not sharing irrelevant information with potential for bias/wanting to have an individual identity beyond that of being someone's wife versus shameful/suspicious hiding? Again, I don't require my husband to prove his love for me by changing his prefix or last name. Thankfully I am married to someone far smarter than some commenters here, and he doesn't require me to furnish such proof either.

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likesmart
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I kept my birth name and use Ms. am not interested in being identified by my marital status

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