Fiancée & I are doing a prenup, and the lawyers have asked us how we want to handle spousal support. Have any of you guys had a prenup? We don’t really know what we’re doing or the “fairest” way...

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Consult with your lawyers on options. They should be able to walk you through that.

Typically spousal support is a a year for every 3 years of marriage (although this varies by state), so I would check that what the formula is in yours and then decide if you want to adjust it. You may also want to add a fixed per kid type of a number for spousal support to account for loss of comp - again you may want to understand what alimony is like in tour state as well and use that to guide your decision.

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This really seems like something where your lawyer should give you some guidance on what is permissible and enforceable in your state. For example in a few states you can specify in a prenup that both sides give up spousal support rights, whereas other states that will just get thrown out by a judge.
And I believe it’s almost impossible to enforce anything about child support in a prenup—that will get totally disregarded in favor of whatever is best for the child(ren) in case of a divorce.

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If you both make the same amount of money and you have roughly the same value of assets coming in then you don’t need a prenup. A judge will throw out anything unfair to either of you and you’ll end up splitting everything in half anyway if you get divorced

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...to structure it. We both have a similar income now, but when we have kids & I take ~4-6 months (or longer?) per kid, it’s obviously going to result in lost career progression, etc. Fiancée had a bad divorce in his fam, where his uncle has had to pay spousal support for over a decade & neither of us wants that, but we’re not sure what’s normal/common/fair

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