{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "First date last night. He picked the restaurant and ordered the most expensive entree, but we split the bill. Later I told him he didn't Have to walk me home, and he didn't. Hugged me and left 🙄", "post_id": "589c5f3d5e708a00107592e1", "reply_count": 91, "vote_count": 15, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
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First date last night. He picked the restaurant and ordered the most expensive entree, but we split the bill. Later I told him he didn't Have to walk me home, and he didn't. Hugged me and left 🙄

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OP-independent lady 🐠 here, i always split the bill on dates so i dont see the issue there tbh.

the walking home thing-are you in a dangerous neighborhood? if so, then he probably should have at least asked if you were sure before talking you at your word, but i agree with the majority here, if you say something mean it. so like, if you want him to walk you home and he offers say, "that'd be nice" no big deal.

ladies, we need to stop playing games and actually mean what we say. otherwise we're a part of the whole "i know she wants it" rape culture. if i want a guy to walk me home, i dont tell him not to.

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Give it a rest guys. There are girls who will always be entitled and there will be guys who don't treat women well enough. Everyone knows women who boast about going out only as a means to get free meals and have things paid for. And everyone knows guys who lack the smoothness to close a date or "chivalry' to impress a girl. Learn from this and be more open with each other. OP, BA1, and P7 next time don't play games with guys and come here to bitch about how the guy did what you "said" he should. And the other guys attacking OP, BA1, P7- dating / courting is all about emotion and not logic. They can feel whatever they want to and slamming them for their logic won't help them understand your perspective. Let's go on better dates please. Dates are supposed to be fun ! Not who paid how much !

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Honestly as a male, if you told me not to walk you home, I'd assume that's a hint as "the date didn't go well"

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So let me understand, you said "you don't have to walk me home", then he didn't, so that upset you? (Or whatever emotion, clearly negative, is)

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Guys go through so much training now that "no means no" that there's not much persistence left. You can't have it both ways.

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Next time, grab him by the balls and say "Walk me home dammit!"

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@A3: this is the problem with society. Some women want equality but not if it means paying for a meal / making a move.

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Yeah...OP, this is definitely on you. Agree with A2 and BA1. It's pretty obvious if a date goes well. This sounded like it didn't, I would've taken your hint as you wanting to part ASAP.

Alternatively, men can be dense, if that date really went well and you wanted him to walk you home, you could've easily done a "You don't need to walk me home, Donald. No really! Only if you want to. 😉"

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It's hilarious that when they are splitting it 50/50 she is "subsidizing his meal" but when he is paying 100% it is just "common courtesy" and "showing chivalry".

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OP is busy making a transfer from checking to credit card to cover the unexpected expense of subsidizing her date's expensive meal

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Agree with OW1, it's really hard to know when to not take a girl literally when it comes to anything around dating and sex. It's been hammered into our head that you mean exactly what you say, yes means yes, no means no

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I am a guy, and I find what the guy at the restaurant to be a red flag for being a bit of a jerk. If you pick the restaurant and order the most expensive item, then either treat for both of you or pitch in more than your date, so that she isn't subsidizing your expensive entree. This is just common courtesy.

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Maybe he just goes on dates to get $10 off of his expensive steaks.

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B1: I am ok with wanting to feel special and treating a girl to dinner. But A3 said "if I have to pay for anything, I don't consider it a date" and that is a ridiculous thought process. I almost always pay for my date's dinner, I just think what A3 said is a perfect example of how some women view "equality".

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OP is working 😩. The dinner actually went pretty well, we laughed a lot and talked for 2 hours straight. BUT when he was leaving, he didn't say "this is fun, left do it again sometime" or anything like that. Instead, he said hope you don't get kidnapped 🙄

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Is it normal to split the check on a dinner date? I've never done that. Was there any chemistry? Maybe he was taking you telling him not to walk you home as you weren't interested so he was just complying.

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Haha, of course you are upset/sad/mad that he listened to you.

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A3, that kind of thinking will cause you trouble. You can't try to figure out what a guy is thinking by using a woman's perspective. We don't see the world the same way. We are generally not as sensitive to things like that and therefore don't send our signals as subtly as that either. Also, paying for dates has long evolved away from men paying for all of it. Equal rights are equal rights.

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I don't think he's worth your time OP

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But at least you're expensing you're dinner, right?

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A2 as a female I'd say your perception was spot on. If you picked the restaurant, and you picked the most expensive item and I had to pay anything, I would not have considered that a "date".

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