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I feel for you both. I was in the same boat as a first year. I lateraled and being part of a good team makes a difference. I also started going into the office a couple times a week and I think it helped.
Didn’t start enjoying practice until I joined a team I felt at home with. Made me a better lawyer and also a serious boon to my mental health
Mentor
OP, I think the truth might be that you’re just not interested in the kind of work you’re doing. Is this likely to improve as you get more senior and get to do more substantive work? Are you in the wrong practice group? Or do you just not want be a lawyer anymore?
Subject Expert
I feel this when the work I like most is quiet and the work I dislike has to take up more of my time. I’d think about whether there’s a different type of work that would be more interesting to you. And I say that as someone who isn’t some biglaw gunner—it’s just how my brain works. Maybe yours does too?
Go in house
Use whatever you can to sell yourself. Doesn’t hurt to try. Company wants smart ppl too. Show them your genuine interest in the position.
you probably have little interest in your practice group. what did you like in law school? go for that