{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Fishies, I need your advice. Went in house 18 months ago. Have a great relationship with my stakeholders and SVP. I get sh*t done and am viewed as a SME in my field. But during my mid year review...", "post_id": "5d5b4592c665470021d58982", "reply_count": 17, "vote_count": 0, "bowl_id": "58fb054610195e00119fd4a1", "bowl_name": "Advertising Confessions", "feed_type": "bowl" }
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Fishies, I need your advice. Went in house 18 months ago. Have a great relationship with my stakeholders and SVP. I get sh*t done and am viewed as a SME in my field. But during my mid year review...

Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Are you a woman? If so, you have two options. Say eff this place or try to reframe how you come off. You do the latter by stating your intentions upfront so it emphasizes that you care and it’s not because you want to be difficult. Lead by your meticulous example and find a way to get your boss to make that final call to get everyone else to follow it, rather than letting that direction come from you. Sucks to be female. If you’re a man, I don’t know what to tell you except maybe you’re actually an ahole.

likehelpful

OP. Sounds like how the company treats women.

Be the same as you are, just put some sugar on everything. Take someone who is widely liked, and use them as an example. What little things do they do that makes them liked? I had to do this too, similar situation. Everyone loved the work I did but hated working with me. I’m straight forward, no BS, get shit done type of person. Well this is the Midwest and apparently people can take that as “omg she is so mean!” So, I started putting sugar on everything. People like me now. It’s nice. I don’t feel fake either. It’s me, just a more personable version of me.

likehelpful

OP, I feel this. I’m a woman and recently have been told I’m coming off as “unapproachable.” It pisses me off but I’m trying to be more inclusive and patient. It feels like a gender issue (why aren’t you baking cakes, you female 😉), but instead of looking I’m gonna try to work on my demeanor and relationships. I’m also in-house, agency background, nyc gal in a smaller city and quite frankly, people here are slower and less urgent. So I’m trying to change to my surroundings, not the other way around. It’s tough. Stick with it. Try to read some Brene brown for inspiration. Medium has some good self reflection articles too. Anything may help to reset your mindset. Good luck 🍀

likeuplifting

I love to bake to my people and use them as guinea pigs. They have their favourite treats already haha. I truly respect a lot of women in this industry, they have to put up with some gross ass shit that I wish they never had to experience in the first place (i am a men btw)

like

I was told that people internal to our small team highly dislike working with me. They say I’m difficult to work with. I’m the only one with agency experience and have much higher standards. The team I roll up to is completely irrelevant, and stagnant at best. What should I do? (Cont.)

like

This has happened on my team a few times, and as a manager it’s one of the hardest things to deal with, bc like in your situation, it was always my top performing PMs. Hopefully your manager gave you more complete feedback on what drove these comments, but in my experience it is usually bc the employee doesn’t come across as a team player despite their hard work.

The sugar comment is a good one, but also make sure you are respectful of other people’s roles and that most other people are trying to help - try not to go in hot and/or defensive when people disagree or annoy you. A lot of times this happens because people say “no” to requests or suggestions without entertaining the idea or offering solutions.

This is feedback that will follow you and can stagnate your career, so you’re better off trying to fix it versus find a new job. The higher you go, the more valuable “soft” skills are.

likehelpful

You sound like an inexperienced leader, honestly.

Handling clients well is totally different from motivating and leading a team on the inside. Completely different. The closest you could get would be to treat your people as your clients but that’s not it either.

The nature of your post and the things you mention demonstrate a lack of reflection on the feedback you’ve been given. The fact that it’s surprising to you should be seriously disturbing - it means you genuinely do not understand your own flaws and limitations and therefore have a very low chance of fixing them.

For example, you’ve taken critical feedback that you’re difficult and made it into a positive about your high standards. That’s your ego right there and it’s weak. Have some humility ffs. You say you’re no BS but your entire statement is obvious BS.

Regardless of your gender (plenty of horrible male and female bosses out there - I’m sure we can all think of one of each)

All the feel good comments on fishbowl (see above) aren’t going to make you feel any better when you get deservedly fired for not using this feedback to grow and change.

likesmart

You seriously took that away from what I said?

You must be in media

I’m not the type to walk on glass or lower my standards, or coddle people—I’m a straight shooter, no-BS type. Clients love working with me and I have testimonials to prove it. How do I change my perception without changing who I am? It’s really hard to show up each day knowing people hate me. I’m seriously questioning if I should move on. Clearly not the right fit. I also have amazing folks reporting to me, but feel they’ll be viewed negatively as well by association. Help 🤧

Ugh I’m at an agency but welcome to my life! Move on—they’ve shown their cards.

Additional Posts in Advertising Confessions

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likefunny

Additional Posts (overall)

On Sunday I was at Berghain in Berlin, where I saw and did “things". It’s now Monday, and I’m at work in New York.

likeuplifting

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likeuplifting

I want to start over

To be a junior again. To have the luxury of just doing and thinking. Away from clients, away from the politics, away from the 9 hours of meetings a day.

I was always so consumed with moving up, comparing myself, I rushed through it and didn’t savor every bite.

It’s nice to make money. It’s nice to feel more respected and be able to speak from experience.

But some days experience blinds me.

likehelpful

Anyone ever feel so anxious because of their boss they just start avoiding things? Know this will come to a breaking point but I already have terrible anxiety and this situation is killing me

like

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likefunny

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likefunny

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likeuplifting

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likefunnyupliftingsmart

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likefunny

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