For the people married - how often are you considered a nagging person? … Mom nags at dad constantly & it’s overwhelming 😆

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From a different perspective, I came from a family where my dad (doctor) was the sole breadwinner and my mom stayed at home to take care of me and my brother (who has intellectual disabilities). My dad never valued her contributions because they didn’t make money, even though her role as housewife allowed him to have a much bigger career and make more money than he would’ve been able had they both worked.

So she viewed money as their collective money and had big dreams for how to use it (e.g., buying a second home) and he viewed it as his money that she wanted to spend, which led to a lot of resentment on both sides and accusations that she was “nagging” anytime she wanted to spend money on something and he didn’t.

The comment about “why doesn’t she go get a job” is something I used to agree with until I realized her contributions were equally helpful to the family’s overall financial success. And the kinds of jobs someone in their 50s/60s can get after being out of the workforce for 30 years are not great.

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Agreed. That’s exactly how it is except my dad is not a doctor and my brother does have a bipolar disorder. She cooks and cleans & makes sure everyone gets everything before it’s needed. She’s faster than Amazon. So I used to think the same until I lived alone & I had to go buy my own stuff 😆

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I don’t nag. Why nag an adult? They heard you the first and second time. Also nagging is a form of controlling behavior.

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💯

I try *really* hard never to nag. If it ever gets to that point, I let my husband know that I'm going to start nagging if it doesn't get handled soon (which is kind of a form of nagging itself). But at least it gives him warning before I go full nag and gives him the choice to get it done or deal with the nagging. Usually that does the trick.

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Engaged for 1.5 years and getting married in June. Looking down the barrel at a lifetime with someone I do love, I realize that men often take things like housework for granted. I have more than a full time job and can’t be an adults maid and babysitter too. So, sometimes, you gotta ask three times that he empty the dishwasher or clean up! Sometimes it feels like that or just be pissy and passive aggressive. Trying to set up a 50/50 partnership now so that I’m not bitter and exhausted later.

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Set the tone in the beginning for sure

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I don't nag - my husband is so on top of things he cleans and fixes things before I know there's a problem.

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I nag all the time

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To what stuff if you don’t mind.

For years - she wants him to buy her a house & he doesn’t want to buy another one. He wants to retire. She doesn’t understand him & she doesn’t want to work 🤷🏻‍♀️

Lol! I used to get involved & it harmed my mental health so idc anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️

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